i am a killer! i kill poople for money, i am a killer! i kill people for money, but ur my friend, so i will kill u for free of cost.

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

He was hairier than Chewbacca dipped in Rogaine.

Kya zamana tha hum roz mila karte thay, Raat bhar chand k hamrah chala karte the, Dekh k jo hamain chup chap guzar jata hai, Kabhi is shakhs sey hum pyar kiya karte the.

O hurry where by water among the trees The delicate-stepping stag and his lady sigh, When they have but looked upon their images - Would none had ever loved but you and I! Or have you heard that sliding silver-shoed Pale silver-proud queen-woman of the
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Asin likh-likh chithian paunde rahe, Oh bin pade hi teeli launde rahe!!.. Ise umeed wich lang gayi zindagi saadi, Oh rusde rahe asin manaunde rahe!!….. Cute Shayar Amaan

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

Wants to go back to kinder garden when boys still had cooties and the only drama was when someone stole your crayons

Why is Wednesday called “Hump Day” when most people get laid on the weekends?

Tussi Hasde ho sanu hasaan vaaste, tussi rone ho saanu rovaan vaaste, ek vaar rus ke ta vekho sohneyo, Marr javange tuhanu manaan vaaste.