A person should gamble every day, because think of how bad it would be to walk around being lucky and not know it.

I am smiling because you are my sister…But I’m laughing because there’s absolutely NOTHING in the world you can do about it

No good deed goes unpunished.

Hallmark Card: “Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!” (available only in Arkansas).

To hate a person is a waste; half the people you hate don’t care, and the other half don’t know.

It sucks when you love someone but are afraid to tell them how you feel, out of fear that they don’t love you back.

If you are what you eat then you were what you excrete.