The one charm of marriage is that it makes life of deception absolutely necessary for bot parties. – Oscar Wilde

The first bond of society is marriage. (Prima societas in ipso conjugio est.) – Cicero

Marriage must be a relation either of sympathy or of conquest. –

George Eliot

If you would marry suitably, marry year equal. – Ovid

Matrimony is something that the bachelor missed and the widower escapes. – F. M. Knowles

To marry once is a duty, twice a folly, thrice madness. – Proverb

Let me not to the marriage of true minds.

Admit impediments. -  Shakespeare

The whole world is strewn with snares, traps, gins and pitfalls for the capture of men by women. – Bernard Shaw

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity. – Unknown

What they do in heaven we are ignorant of; but what they do not we are told expressly, that they neither marry nor are given in marriage. – Swift

In married life three is company and two none. – Oscar Wilde

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin

Like blood, like goods, and like age,

Make the happiest marriage. – John Clarke

For any man to match above his rank

Is but to sell his liberty. – Massinger

A poor man who marries a wealthy woman gets a ruler and not a wife. – Anaxandrides

He that marries for wealth sells his liberty. – Thomas Fuller

You should indeed have longer tarried

By the roadside before you married. – W.S. Landor

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. – Congreve

Marriage has, as you say, no natural relation to love. Marriage belongs to society; it is a social contract. – S.T. Coleridge

Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. – Benjamin Franklin

It is commonly a weak man who marries for love. – Samuel Johnson

Marry first and love will follow. – Hannah

Tis safest in matrimony to begin with a little aversion. – Sheridan

The only thing that can hallow marriage is love, and the only genuine marriage is that which is hallowed by love. – Leo Tolstoy

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. – Oscar Wilde

Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on earth. – Unknown

Marriage is destiny, made in heaven. – John Lyly

 Man is not merely an evolution but rather a revolution. – G.K. Chesterton

Man is the genuine offspring of revolt. – Cowper

Man is a little soul carrying around a corpse. – Epictetus

Man is Nature’s sole mistake. – Gilbert

Man is a machine into which we put what we call food and produce what we call thought. – Ingersoli

Man is a reasoning animal (Rational animal est homo) – Seneca

Man was made by the Gods for them to toy and play with. – Plato

Man is the most intelligent of animals – and the most silly. – Diogenes

The only laughing animal is man. – William Whitehead

They are but children, too; though they have gray hairs, they are, indeed, children of a larger size. – Seneca

Man is a restless thing; still vain and wild,

Lives beyond sixty, nor outgrows the child. – Isaac Watts

Mankinds are earthen jugs with spirits in them. – Hawthorne

There’s no trust.

No faith, no honesty in men; all perjured,

All for sworn, all naught, all dissembles. – Shakespeare

However we brave it out, we men are a little bread. – Tennyson

O how contemptible a thing is man unless he can raise himself above humanity. – Seneca

How weak and yet how vain a thing is man,

Mean what he will, endeavor what he can! – John Sheffield

All that I care to know is that a man is a human being – that is enough for me; the can’t be any worse. – Mark Twain

Mankinds, when left to them, are unfit for their own government. – George Washington

What the superior man seeks is in him; what the small man seeks is in others. -

Confucius

Of all beasts the man – beast is the worst;

To others, and himself, the cruelest foe. – Richard Baxter

Man’s that savage beast, whose mind,

From reason to self-love declined

Delights to prey upon his kind. – Sir John Denham

Man is no man, but a wolf. ( Lupus est homo, non homo.) – Plautus

And cruel death is always near;

So frail a thing is man. – Unknown

Man being in honour abideth not; he is like the beasts that perish. – Old Testament

For men on earth ’tis best never to be born at all; or being born, to pass through the gates of Hades with al speed. – Homer

The history of mankind is little else than a narrative of designs which have failed, and hopes that have been disappointed. – Samuel Johnson

Whome’er thou shalt see wretched, know him man. (Quemcumque miserum videris, homiem scias.) – Seneca

Man’s conclusions are reached by toil.

Woman arrives at the same by sympathy. – Emerson

Men word and think, but women feel. – Christina Rossetti

Woman’s dearest delight is to would man’s self conceit, though man’s dearest delight is to gratify hers. – Bernard Shaw

If women were humbler, men would be honester. – Sir John Vanbrugh

All the reasoning of men is not worth one sentiment of women. – Voltaire

Women are never disarmed by compliments.

Men always are.                                    – Oscar Wilde

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals. – Oscar Wilde

I like men who have a future, and women who have a past. – Oscar Wilde

“Being a husband is a whole-time job. That is why so many husbands fail. They cannot give their entire attention to it.” – Arnold Bennet

“A good husband makes a good wife.” – Robert Burton

“As the husband is, the wife is.” – Tennyson

“Husbands, love your wives, and are not bitter against them.” – New Testament

Infatuation is when you think he’s as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Connors. Love is when you realize that he’s as sexy as Woody Allen, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford – but you’ll take him anyway.
- Judith Viorst

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
- Marie Corelli

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
- Helen Rowland

I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.
- Walter Matthau

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
- Helen Rowland

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
- H.L. Mencken

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”.
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
“You can have mine.”
-Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second Guy “You’re
lucky, mine’s still alive.”
-  Anonymous

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs
with me.
-  Anonymous

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
     1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
     2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.         
-Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to
forget it once…      
- Anonymous

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
- Milton Berle

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
- Dumas

The great question… which I have not been able to answer…is, “What does a woman want?
-  Sigmund Freud

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
-David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
-Hemant Joshi

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take
time to go to a restaurant two times a week.  A little candlelight,
dinner,soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henry Youngman

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-Sam Kinison

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
-James Holt McGavran

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me
and the second one didn’t.
-Patrick Murray

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield

SEND THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH……AND
Submitted By: Mike – Thanks- Submit a Quote/Saying

 

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
- Carrie Snow

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
- George Burns

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
- Henny Youngman

In life, it’s not who you know that’s important, it’s how your wife found out.
- Joey Adams

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
- Joey Adams

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
- Joey Adams

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

In life, it’s not who you know that’s important, it’s how your wife found out.
- Joey Adams

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
- Beverly Nichols

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
- Marie Corelli

I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.
- Walter Matthau

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
- Helen Rowland

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
- H.L. Mencken

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
- Anonymous

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
- Helen Rowland

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
- Carrie Snow

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
- George Burns

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
- Henny Youngman

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house.
- Jean Kerr

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
- Rita Rudner

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they
are always watching you.–Robert Fulghum

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
-Theodore Hesburgh

Marriages are made in heaven and are consummated on earth.
-Unknown

Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source Of human offspring
-John Milton quotes

Marriage is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important
-Lisa Hoffman quotes

My dad always asks my wife, “Is he treating you right?” It reminds me of my responsibility to be a good husband.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!
-Unknown

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What  ..does a woman want?”
- Freud

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly.
-Peter De Vries

I love being married.  It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-Rita Rudner

Marriage, n.  A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two.
-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911

Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the
enemy.

- Gary Busey

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.
-Unknown