Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.

Isn’t it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom.

Save a tree. Eat a beaver.

Basic unit of laryngitis == 1 hoarsepower

Coincidence is just an euphemism for conspiracy.

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space, but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

You’re old when “getting a little action” means I don’t need to take any fiber today.