An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, ‘So far so good!’

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.

When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that’s mad.