Fran Lebowitz Famous Quotes & Sayings

100 Fran Lebowitz Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

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If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be
Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like
If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
Those who use the word 'lifestyle' are rarely in possession of either. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Those who use the word 'lifestyle' are rarely in possession of either.
There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have
In New York, people are very overbooked.You say, When do you want to have dinner? It's May. They say, What about October? And then they complain: Oh you can't believe how booked up I am. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: In New York, people are very overbooked.You say, When do you want to have dinner?
Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons? Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools
Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to
You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good.
I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider
That I am totally devoid of sympathy for, or interest in, the world of groups is directly attributable to the fact that my two greatest needs and desires - smoking cigarettes and plotting revenge - are basically solitary pursuits. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: That I am totally devoid of sympathy for, or interest in, the world of groups
There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
Andy Warhol made fame more famous. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have
Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals
It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative.
Reading is better than life. Without reading, you're stuck with life. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Reading is better than life. Without reading, you're stuck with life.
I think writing for me has always been a matter of fear. Writing is fear and not writing is fear. I am afraid of writing and then I'm afraid of not writing. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I think writing for me has always been a matter of fear. Writing is fear
I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can
One [New York] eatery is a remodeled diner that looks like what Busby Berkeley would have done if only he hadn't had the money. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: One [New York] eatery is a remodeled diner that looks like what Busby Berkeley would
Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut?? Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you
People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first to have thought of adding fresh lime juice to scalloped potatoes try to understand that there must be a reason for this. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any
I have a real aversion to machines. I write with a pen. Then I read it to someone who writes it onto the computer. What are those computer letters made of anyway? Light? Too insubstantial. Paper, you can feel it. A pen. There's a connection. A pen goes exactly at your speed, whereas that machine jumps. And then, that machine is waiting for you, just humming uh-huh, yes? Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I have a real aversion to machines. I write with a pen. Then I read
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you
People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They
I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is
I happen to love a good run almost as much as sex. Like sex, there are often times I don't think I'm interested until I'm into it. Unlike sex, I do have to get out of bed and into the elements. I hate leaving bed. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I happen to love a good run almost as much as sex. Like sex, there
Humility is no substitute for a good personality. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer
Science has done absolutely nothing about noise. The worst design flaw in the human body is that you can't close your ears. The reason you can't close your ears is, if a lion was coming, you had to wake up. Today no lions are coming. Beeping trucks are coming. I read the other day that the guy who invented the beep when trucks go backward, he died. I thought: Of course-he dies, I have to listen to it. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Science has done absolutely nothing about noise. The worst design flaw in the human body
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back
I am a New Yorker. I like New York. And I like cities. And it's not my desire to make New York more suburban. I would personally just like to vet each person. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I am a New Yorker. I like New York. And I like cities. And it's
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst
Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep.
My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two-thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature, I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper
White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake
I have always preferred the company of older people. No one in the history of the world has had less interest in the young than I do. I am not interested in what young people are thinking. They're thinking less than old people, of course. I mean, what could they be thinking? And what are they doing? They're doing the same stupid things you did. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I have always preferred the company of older people. No one in the history of
You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older
I'm not a Communist. I'm an American. I'm a capitalist. I mean, I'm not a very good capitalist, myself. I'm not very good at it, but it's not that I'm not for capitalism. But people who believe in things like corporate citizenship, it's idiotic. I mean, it shows you're an idiot. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I'm not a Communist. I'm an American. I'm a capitalist. I mean, I'm not a
People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to be president. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to
Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.
There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places. F Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places.
Scientists are rarely to be counted among the fun people. Awkward at parties, shy with strangers, deficient in irony - they have had no choice but to turn their attention to the close study of everyday objects. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Scientists are rarely to be counted among the fun people. Awkward at parties, shy with
Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going
Generally speaking, it is inhumane to detain a fleeting insight. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Generally speaking, it is inhumane to detain a fleeting insight.
A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are, however, exceptions, and such children are an excellent addition to any party. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money.
When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree. When my mother explained it, I kept after her: What are you saying? What do you mean? I couldn't believe it. It was astonishing. It was like
here's the man who makes all the trees. Then I wanted to be a writer, because, I suppose, it seemed the closest thing to being God.
Fran Lebowitz Sayings: When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact
Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent
I've never had the experience of being edited and never will. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I've never had the experience of being edited and never will.
The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?, 3) Does it know its place? Fran Lebowitz Sayings: The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?,
What do they do in these [private] clubs, anyway? Sit around saying things like 'Thank God I'm here. No Jews! What fun! This is living, huh? Look! No Jews! I don't know when I've had a better time. And no women! Just men! And no blacks! Just whites! White men! White men who are not Jewish! It doesn't get any better than this.' To some people, apparently, this is a perfect description of injustice. To me, this is a perfect description of a gay bar in Iceland. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: What do they do in these [private] clubs, anyway? Sit around saying things like 'Thank
You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because
There were a zillion bad jobs. That doesn't exist any more. I mean, I could wake up one afternoon with zero money and know that by the end of the day, I would have money. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: There were a zillion bad jobs. That doesn't exist any more. I mean, I could
Democracy is an interesting, even laudable, notion and there is no question but that when compared to Communism, which is too dull, or Fascism, which is too exciting, it emerges as the most palatable form of government. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Democracy is an interesting, even laudable, notion and there is no question but that when
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is
I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in
The effect of AIDS was like a war in a minute country. Like, in World War I, a whole generation of Englishmen died all at once. And with AIDS, a whole generation of gay men died practically all at once, within a couple of years. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: The effect of AIDS was like a war in a minute country. Like, in World
It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others ... People who have good jobs are happy, rich, and well dressed. People who have bad jobs are unhappy, poor and use meat extenders. Those who seek dignity in the type of work that compels them to help hamburgers are certain to be disappointed. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely
They know you can't get people to stop smoking, so they develop a system of informants. That's the whole idea of second-hand smoke, you know. Make second-hand smoke dangerous and turn everybody against smokers. Then they say you can't even smoke in a bar
a bar!
because bartenders have a right to a smoke-free "workspace." Ah, bartenders, those health nuts ...
Fran Lebowitz Sayings: They know you can't get people to stop smoking, so they develop a system of
I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of
I could not possibly be in a relationship now for more than six days. When I was younger, I might have said six months, although I think the longest relationship I was ever in was three years. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I could not possibly be in a relationship now for more than six days. When
The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
When I was a kid, the people of my generation didn't want to be writers, they wanted to be rock stars. Rock and roll was not just entertainment, it was the center of people's lives. When I was young, it was exciting and interesting. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: When I was a kid, the people of my generation didn't want to be writers,
Should novels generally be 600 pages? No, they should not. Half of writing, maybe 3/4 of writing, is editing. This seems to be a thing that has not gotten through to them. It's my impression that you could get rid of half of most of these books. These people are not good enough to be this long, but they're apparently also not good enough to be shorter. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Should novels generally be 600 pages? No, they should not. Half of writing, maybe 3/4
Smoking is the great romance of my lifetime. If I could find someone I wanted forty-five times a day, perhaps I could stop. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Smoking is the great romance of my lifetime. If I could find someone I wanted
Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis.
I'm very lazy, I hate to work. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I'm very lazy, I hate to work.
I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little
I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in
I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
It is not good form to take a Trick out unless one is so firmly established as to be able to afford being associated with someone who might at any given moment write a poem in public. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: It is not good form to take a Trick out unless one is so firmly
Do not approach with anything even resembling assurance a restaurant that moves. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Do not approach with anything even resembling assurance a restaurant that moves.
Chocolate is an excellent flavor for ice cream but both unreasonable and disconcerting in chewing gum. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Chocolate is an excellent flavor for ice cream but both unreasonable and disconcerting in chewing
Never judge a cover by its book. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Never judge a cover by its book.
Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour
Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life
Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the
If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that,
My other hobby, because I just love any job with a gavel, is auctioneer. And I so often have presided over charity auctions in New York that many years ago Sotheby's sent me my own gavel. Now, the Sotheby's gavel is infinitely more elegant
it came in a little velvet bag, with "Sotheby's" inscribed in gold. It hangs in my library. I feel that everyone has occasion to use a gavel at various times everyday, they just don't think of it.
Fran Lebowitz Sayings: My other hobby, because I just love any job with a gavel, is auctioneer. And
I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.
The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with
Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.
Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.
There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the
All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't
In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate
Modern science was largely conceived of as an answer to the servant problem and ... it is generally practiced by those who lack a flair for conversation. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: Modern science was largely conceived of as an answer to the servant problem and ...
If people had gavels, there would be no wars. If every person in the world had a gavel and could bang it and get everyone's attention right away and make their displeasure known, I believe the level of actual violence in the world would just disappear to practically nothing. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: If people had gavels, there would be no wars. If every person in the world
The terrible state of public education has paid huge dividends in ignorance. Huge. We now have a country that can be told blatant lies
easily checkable, blatant lies
and I'm not talking about the covert workings of the CIA. When we have a terrorist attack, on September 11, 2001 with 19 men
15 of them are Saudis
and five minutes later the whole country thinks they're from Iraq
how can you have faith in the public? This is an easily checkable fact. The whole country is like the O. J. Simpson jurors.
Fran Lebowitz Sayings: The terrible state of public education has paid huge dividends in ignorance. Huge. We now
I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them
People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of attention) have often been likened to snowflakes. This analogy is meant to suggest that each is unique - no two alike. This is quite patently not the case. People, even at the current rate of inflation - in fact, people especially at the current rate of inflation - are quite simply a dime a dozen. And, I hasten to add, their only similarity to snowflakes resides in their invariably and lamentable tendency to turn, after a few warm days, to slush. Fran Lebowitz Sayings: People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of attention)