Frank Zappa Famous Quotes & Sayings

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100 Frank Zappa Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

Frank Zappa Sayings: I'm in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma. I'm in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Guitar playing, as currently understood, has more to do with sports than it does to Guitar playing, as currently understood, has more to do with sports than it does to do with music. It's an Olympic challenge type of situation. The challenges are in the realm of speed, redundancy, choreography, and grooming ... clouds of educated gnat-notes.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere-with a stick, or with your hands-which Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere-with a stick, or with your hands-which are interpreted as "instructional messages" by guys wearing bow ties who wish they were fishing.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Let's be realistic about this, the guitar can be the single most blasphemous device on Let's be realistic about this, the guitar can be the single most blasphemous device on the face of the earth. That's why I like it ... The disgusting stink of a too-loud electric guitar: now that's my idea of a good time.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public. Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: She was a steady date until she put on some weight. She was a steady date until she put on some weight.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'. The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business
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Frank Zappa Sayings: She use to knock me out until her face broke out. She use to knock me out until her face broke out.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively
because, without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a 'box' around it because otherwise, what is that shit on the wall?
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Gave my money all to you, took my watch and pawned it, too. Gave my money all to you, took my watch and pawned it, too.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: I'm the best you can get. Have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozin' I'm the best you can get. Have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozin' out from your TV set!
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy. Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it. Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: I'm more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to I'm more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: This is a stupid song and that's the way I like it. This is a stupid song and that's the way I like it.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity. Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Don't go to bed with any woman crazier than you are. Don't go to bed with any woman crazier than you are.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: I ain't the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she I ain't the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she don't change those evil ways, I'm gonna make her bleed.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex. Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Nobody looks good bent over. Especially to pick up a check. Nobody looks good bent over. Especially to pick up a check.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: You don't dig me, I don't understand what it is, I had my car reupholstered. You don't dig me, I don't understand what it is, I had my car reupholstered.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on. It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: He wants to do you in cause the color of your skin. He wants to do you in cause the color of your skin.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: So many books, so little time. So many books, so little time.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, 'All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands. Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary. Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary.
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Frank Zappa Sayings: Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass. Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
Frank Zappa Sayings: All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
Frank Zappa Sayings: Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons. Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.
Frank Zappa Sayings: I want a hairy little Jewish Princess with a brand new nose, who knows where I want a hairy little Jewish Princess with a brand new nose, who knows where it goes.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Love of my life, I love you so. Love of my life, don't ever go. Love of my life, I love you so. Love of my life, don't ever go.
Frank Zappa Sayings: The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned. The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Call any vegetable,call it by name,and the chances are goodthat the vegetable will respond to Call any vegetable,
call it by name,
and the chances are good
that the vegetable will respond to you
Frank Zappa Sayings: Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
Frank Zappa Sayings: The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or otherwise, opens the door to an endless The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or otherwise, opens the door to an endless parade of moral quality control programs based on things certain Christians do not like. What if the next bunch of Washington wives demands a large yellow J on all material written or performed by Jews, in order to save helpless children from exposure to concealed Zionist doctrine?
Frank Zappa Sayings: Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon. Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Ram it up your poop chute. Ram it up your poop chute.
Frank Zappa Sayings: They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there.
Frank Zappa Sayings: King of kings, that must be Elvis. King of kings, that must be Elvis.
Frank Zappa Sayings: It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.
Frank Zappa Sayings: To me absurdity is the only reality To me absurdity is the only reality
Frank Zappa Sayings: Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear.
Frank Zappa Sayings: I feel a lot of people don't know what high school is - including those I feel a lot of people don't know what high school is - including those who are in it. My material is provided to give them some perspective. People are stupid. They never stop to question things. They just accept. Can you imagine a nation who never questions the validity of cheerleaders and pom-poms?
Frank Zappa Sayings: You is what you am, a cow don't make ham. You is what you am, a cow don't make ham.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an 'inconvenience.' We have opted instead for an authoritarian system disguised as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there.
Frank Zappa Sayings: The crux of the biscuit is: If it entertains you, fine. Enjoy it. If it The crux of the biscuit is: If it entertains you, fine. Enjoy it. If it doesn't, then blow it out your ass. I do it to amuse myself. If I like it, I release it. If somebody else likes it, that's a bonus.
Frank Zappa Sayings: I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Don't eat the yellow snow. Don't eat the yellow snow.
Frank Zappa Sayings: There's no reason to assume that my idea of what's better would really be better. There's no reason to assume that my idea of what's better would really be better. I resent it when other people try to inflict their ideas of betterness on me. I don't think they know. And I can't see any authority on the horizon that's got any answers that seem worthwhile. Most of the things that are suggested are probably detrimental to your mental health.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Am I a boy or a lady, I don't know which? Am I a boy or a lady, I don't know which?
Frank Zappa Sayings: Schools train people to be ignorant, with style. They give you the equipment that you Schools train people to be ignorant, with style. They give you the equipment that you need to be a functional ignoramus. American schools* do not equip you to deal with things like logic; they don't give you the criteria by which to judge between good and bad in any medium or format; and they prepare you to be a usable victim for military-industrial complex that needs manpower.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Your mind is totally controlled, it has been stuffed into my mold. And you will Your mind is totally controlled, it has been stuffed into my mold. And you will do as you are told, until the rights to you are sold.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.
Frank Zappa Sayings: The manner in which Americans 'consume' music has a lot to do with leaving it The manner in which Americans 'consume' music has a lot to do with leaving it on their coffee tables, or using it as wallpaper for their lifestyles, like the score of a movie
it's consumed that way without any regard for how and why it's made.
Frank Zappa Sayings: I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better. Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better.
Frank Zappa Sayings: The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of _ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous. Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Moses, Aaron, Abraham, they're all a waste of time. It's your ass that's on the Moses, Aaron, Abraham, they're all a waste of time. It's your ass that's on the line.
Frank Zappa Sayings: My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Scientology , how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this Scientology , how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion ?
Frank Zappa Sayings: I'm the devil's advocate. We have our own worshipers. I'm the devil's advocate. We have our own worshipers.
Frank Zappa Sayings: When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else. When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.
Frank Zappa Sayings: America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Lf you're going to deal with reality, you're going to have to make one big Lf you're going to deal with reality, you're going to have to make one big discovery: Reality is something that belongs to you as an individual. If you wanna grow up, which most people don't, the thing to do is take responsibility for your own reality and deal with it on your own terms. Don't expect that because you pay some money to somebody else or take a pledge or join a club or run down the street or wear a special bunch of clothes or play a certain sport or even drink Perrier water, it's going to take care of everything for you.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Why doncha come on over to the house and I'll show 'em to ya? Why doncha come on over to the house and I'll show 'em to ya?
Frank Zappa Sayings: There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.
Frank Zappa Sayings: The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it. Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Ever try to have a conversation with someone on drugs? It just doesn't work ... Ever try to have a conversation with someone on drugs? It just doesn't work ...
Frank Zappa Sayings: Studied law, but not qualified to practice it. Studied law, but not qualified to practice it.
Frank Zappa Sayings: I think the music of the Fifties is really good. I suspect it's much better I think the music of the Fifties is really good. I suspect it's much better musically than much of what's available now. Not in terms of production, but in terms of content.
Frank Zappa Sayings: My balls feel like a pair of maracas. My balls feel like a pair of maracas.
Frank Zappa Sayings: I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really seriously ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Wisdom is not the domain of the Wiz. Wisdom is not the domain of the Wiz.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm of sculptured air.
Frank Zappa Sayings: You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible. Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Look here brother, who you jivin' with that cosmik debris? Look here brother, who you jivin' with that cosmik debris?
Frank Zappa Sayings: I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss.
Frank Zappa Sayings: I'll take a drive to Beverly HillsJust before dawnAn' knock the little jockeysOff the rich I'll take a drive to Beverly Hills
Just before dawn
An' knock the little jockeys
Off the rich people's lawn
An' before they get up
I'll be gone, I'll be gone
Before they get up
I'll be knocking the jockeys off the lawn
Frank Zappa Sayings: The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.
Frank Zappa Sayings: Behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue Behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government.
Frank Zappa Sayings: The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people. The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people.
Frank Zappa Sayings: I don't want to spend my life explaining myself. You either get it, or you I don't want to spend my life explaining myself. You either get it, or you don't.