Katja Millay Famous Quotes & Sayings

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100 Katja Millay Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

Katja Millay Sayings: If self-adoration were cologne, he would be the boy you couldn't stand next to without If self-adoration were cologne, he would be the boy you couldn't stand next to without choking.
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Katja Millay Sayings: It must be kind of depressing to have to teach someone who surpasses your abilities It must be kind of depressing to have to teach someone who surpasses your abilities on every level.
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Katja Millay Sayings: Who knows how this whole evening is going to turn out anyway? It's like 'The Who knows how this whole evening is going to turn out anyway? It's like 'The Breakfast Club' in a powder keg in here and I'm wondering who's going to light the match.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I should tell. I know I should. But he's mine. I don't want him getting I should tell. I know I should. But he's mine. I don't want him getting the chance to walk away. I want him to pay and I want to be the one who decides how.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I was ripped out of the water and thrown and smashed into a thousand pieces I was ripped out of the water and thrown and smashed into a thousand pieces that I can't put back together. I don't know where they go. And there are so many missing that the ones that are left don't fit together anymore. I think I'll stay in pieces. I can shift them, rearrange, depending on the day, depending on what I need to be.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I decline the coffee. I don't drink it, because no matter how much sugar I I decline the coffee. I don't drink it, because no matter how much sugar I put into it, it still tastes like ass-water to me. Maybe it's because my taste buds are so desensitized to sweet that anything not comprised of at least ninety percent sugar tastes wrong
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Katja Millay Sayings: People believe in God because they don't believe in themselves. They need something else to People believe in God because they don't believe in themselves. They need something else to depend on or to blame instead of taking responsibility for their own shit - crap, excrement, waste, mistakes, faults.
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Katja Millay Sayings: You can't change the rules and think everyone else is just going to keep playing. You can't change the rules and think everyone else is just going to keep playing.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I just wanted one person who would look at me and not want to see I just wanted one person who would look at me and not want to see someone else."
"Who looks at you like that?" I lift my head up and lower my hands so I can see her face, and I can't imagine anyone looking at this girl and wanting to see anything but her.
"Everyone who loves me."
"Who is it they want to see?
"A dead girl.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I don't want to fix you. I want to fix this. I don't want to fix you. I want to fix this.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I think I'll stay in pieces. I can shift them, rearrange, depending on the day, I think I'll stay in pieces. I can shift them, rearrange, depending on the day, depending on what I need to be. I can change on a whim and be so many different girls and none of them has to be me.
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Katja Millay Sayings: We're like mysteries to one another. Maybe if I can solve him and he can We're like mysteries to one another. Maybe if I can solve him and he can solve me, we can explain each other. Maybe that's what I need. Someone to explain me.
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Katja Millay Sayings: Now - a profanity-spewing guttersnipe being dragged out of a crack house on Cops. I Now - a profanity-spewing guttersnipe being dragged out of a crack house on Cops. I
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Katja Millay Sayings: I'm tired of being responsible for other people's misery. I can't even put up with I'm tired of being responsible for other people's misery. I can't even put up with my own.
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Katja Millay Sayings: On every side of me are the lights and the tools and the wood and On every side of me are the lights and the tools and the wood and the boots and the boy I want to see forever. And if my Sea of Tranquility were real, it would be this place, with him.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I don't really care what people say about me. I'm fine with lies and rumors. I don't really care what people say about me. I'm fine with lies and rumors. It's the truth I don't want being told.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I shrug. I'm an excellent shrugger. It's rivaled only by my ability to nod. I shrug. I'm an excellent shrugger. It's rivaled only by my ability to nod.
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Katja Millay Sayings: Congratulations, then. You wanted to be ruined? Well, you did yourself one better because you Congratulations, then. You wanted to be ruined? Well, you did yourself one better because you wrecked me, too, Sunshine. Now we're both worth shit.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I imagine she came out of the birth canal holding a cupcake and a spatula. I imagine she came out of the birth canal holding a cupcake and a spatula.
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Katja Millay Sayings: If I'm going to be rejected, I'd like it to come complete with humiliation. If I'm going to be rejected, I'd like it to come complete with humiliation.
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Katja Millay Sayings: Good Morning, Sunshine! Josh F**king Bennett. By now, I'm pretty sure that if I were Good Morning, Sunshine! Josh F**king Bennett. By now, I'm pretty sure that if I were to find his birth certificate that is exactly what it would say.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I'm not deluded enough to think it won't come out somehow, but it's nice to I'm not deluded enough to think it won't come out somehow, but it's nice to have one person exist who doesn't know all of my tragic bullshit. At least for a little while.
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Katja Millay Sayings: You get halfway through with your life and you realize you haven't done the things You get halfway through with your life and you realize you haven't done the things you wanted to do or become what you'd thought you'd become and it's disheartening.
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Katja Millay Sayings: Dying isn't so bad after you've done it once. . . Dying isn't so bad after you've done it once. . .
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Katja Millay Sayings: And that's the most confusing part - figuring out what's true. And that's the most confusing part - figuring out what's true.
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Katja Millay Sayings: When you look at her what do you feel? ... Joy, fear, frustration, longing, friendship, When you look at her what do you feel? ... Joy, fear, frustration, longing, friendship, anger, need, despair, love, lust?"
"Yes."
"Yes, what?"
"All of it.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I'm under a microscope where my every facial expression is being studied. It makes me I'm under a microscope where my every facial expression is being studied. It makes me want to scream, but I can't, so I just swallow it like dirt and blood.
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Katja Millay Sayings: No one ever asks. Like they think they're doing me a favor. That if they No one ever asks. Like they think they're doing me a favor. That if they don't bring it up, I won't have to think about it. Just because I don't talk about it doesn't mean i forget. I don't talk about it because no one ever asks.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I don't know how to say it - after all this time, I'm not even I don't know how to say it - after all this time, I'm not even sure that I can - but I have to break her last rule, because if she knows nothing else, I need her to know this one thing.
'I love you, Sunshine,' I tell her, before I lose my nerve. 'And I don't give a shit whether you want me to or not.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I didn't belong in this world anymore. It's not that I wanted to be dead, I didn't belong in this world anymore. It's not that I wanted to be dead, I just felt like I should be.
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Katja Millay Sayings: Immoral people debating the existence of God is always a crowd pleaser. Immoral people debating the existence of God is always a crowd pleaser.
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Katja Millay Sayings: But she's my tangent girl and I'll follow her if this is where she wants But she's my tangent girl and I'll follow her if this is where she wants to go.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I don't know anything about art so I can't tell you that it's watercolor or I don't know anything about art so I can't tell you that it's watercolor or acrylic or that it's on canvas or anything art related at all. I can tell you that it's a painting of a hand, my hand, turned up and opened to the world and that it reaches into my body and rips out everything that's left. Because in the palm, right in the center, is the pearl button I never reached.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I like names. I collect them: names, origins, meanings. They're an easy thing to collect. I like names. I collect them: names, origins, meanings. They're an easy thing to collect. They don't cost anything and they don't really take up any space. I like to look at them and pretend that they mean something; and maybe they don't, but the pretending is nice. I keep most of them on the walls of my bedroom at home - home where I used to live. I keep the ones that echo. Good names with significance. Not the crap everyone seems to be using these days. I like foreign names, too; the unusual ones that you rarely see. If I ever had a baby I'd pick one of those, but babies aren't really something I see in my future, even the far off one.
I fold up the papers to put them away, glancing one more time. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch one of the Sarahs again, and I smile. It reminds me of the one amusing part of my day.
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Katja Millay Sayings: Emilia," he says, and when he does, it warms me to my soul. "Every day Emilia," he says, and when he does, it warms me to my soul. "Every day you save me.
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Katja Millay Sayings: I've done goodbyes before, and I can do this one, too. Somehow this one hurts I've done goodbyes before, and I can do this one, too. Somehow this one hurts worse than the others; because this one I could prevent if I wanted to, since I'm the one saying it. This goodbye comes with a choice the way none of the others did.
Katja Millay Sayings: Didn't you say she lives in Josh's neighborhood? Mrs. Leighton asks. I think I actually Didn't you say she lives in Josh's neighborhood? Mrs. Leighton asks. I think I actually hear her loading the bullets into that question.
Katja Millay Sayings: It's not that I wanted to be dead, I just felt like I should be. It's not that I wanted to be dead, I just felt like I should be. Which is why it's hard when everyone expects you to be grateful simply because you're not.
Katja Millay Sayings: There's a reverence in the way he kisses me that frightens me, because it's the There's a reverence in the way he kisses me that frightens me, because it's the most wonderful thing I've ever felt.
Katja Millay Sayings: I'd trade my hand all over again to take back everything I did and hear I'd trade my hand all over again to take back everything I did and hear him call me Sunshine.
Katja Millay Sayings: It doesn't matter if you do everything right, if you dress the right way and It doesn't matter if you do everything right, if you dress the right way and the right way and follow all the rules, because evil will find you anyway.
Katja Millay Sayings: Nothing else matters. If I had a penny right now I'd wish that were true; Nothing else matters. If I had a penny right now I'd wish that were true; I want to believe it more than I've ever wanted to believe anything.
Katja Millay Sayings: I don't dress this way because I like it so much or because I want I don't dress this way because I like it so much or because I want people to stare at me in general. But people are going to stare at me for the wrong reasons anyway, and if they are going to stare at me for the wrong reasons, then at least I should get to pick them.
Katja Millay Sayings: It's been five weeks since she walked out of my door. I started counting the It's been five weeks since she walked out of my door. I started counting the second the door closed. I wonder when I'll stop.
Katja Millay Sayings: What is she to him?" I try not to sound jealous or like I'm fishing What is she to him?" I try not to sound jealous or like I'm fishing for information, but I am on both counts. "She," he says, looking at my chest, because he is still Drew, before pulling his gaze up to my eyes, "is a poor man's Sunshine." I
Katja Millay Sayings: Josh isn't in love with me and I'm not in love with him.""Sell it to Josh isn't in love with me and I'm not in love with him."
"Sell it to someone who's buying, Sunshine. Have you seen the way he looks at you?" I've seen the way he looks at me but I don't know what it means. "Like you're a seventeenth-century, hand-carved table in mint condition.
Katja Millay Sayings: What? Sunshine fits you. It's bright and warm and happy. Just. Like. You. What? Sunshine fits you. It's bright and warm and happy. Just. Like. You.
Katja Millay Sayings: When I look at her now, I think, for just one second, that God doesn't When I look at her now, I think, for just one second, that God doesn't hate me so much after all.
Katja Millay Sayings: Girls always want to change the rules in the middle of the game. Girls always want to change the rules in the middle of the game.
Katja Millay Sayings: It's the Josh Bennett equivalent of tattooing her name across my chest. It's the Josh Bennett equivalent of tattooing her name across my chest.
Katja Millay Sayings: I don't do hugging. I don't like people touching me ever when there's no treat I don't do hugging. I don't like people touching me ever when there's no treat involved. It's too intimate and it bothers me.
Katja Millay Sayings: Not my fault that you're distractingly pretty.I have to take a minute to confirm to Not my fault that you're distractingly pretty.
I have to take a minute to confirm to the pissed off part of my brain that still works that, yes, in fact, I did just say that. And I don't know if distractingly is even a word. If it is, it's a stupid one. Like me.
Katja Millay Sayings: People like Josh Bennett and I don't get perfect. Most of the time, we don't People like Josh Bennett and I don't get perfect. Most of the time, we don't even get remotely tolerable. And that's why it scares me. Because, even if there was such a thing to begin with, perfect never lasts.
Katja Millay Sayings: So, you actually cooked tonight? He regards me skeptically. I snort. Because snorting is attractive. So, you actually cooked tonight? He regards me skeptically. I snort. Because snorting is attractive.
Katja Millay Sayings: It's bad enough that my brain is a cesspool; I can't imagine the hellhole my It's bad enough that my brain is a cesspool; I can't imagine the hellhole my heart would be if he wasn't in it. Since
Katja Millay Sayings: You know I meant it. I am human. And male. And not remotely blind. Do You know I meant it. I am human. And male. And not remotely blind. Do you want me to say it again? You are distractingly, even if-that-is-not-a-real-word pretty. You are so pretty that I bullied Clay Whitaker into drawing me a picture of you so I could look at you when you aren't around. You are so pretty that one of these days I'm going to lose a finger in my garage because I can't concentrate with you so close to me. You are so pretty that I wish you weren't so I wouldn't want to hit every guy at school who looks at you, especially my best friend.
Katja Millay Sayings: Your name could mean to excel and you could be useless and crap at everything. Your name could mean to excel and you could be useless and crap at everything. You can put a name on anything, call it whatever you want, doesn't make it real. Doesn't make it true.
Katja Millay Sayings: Was the cake at least good? He knows where my heart lies. Was the cake at least good? He knows where my heart lies.
Katja Millay Sayings: Some things you just have to learn to live with. Some things you just have to learn to live with.
Katja Millay Sayings: I didn't stop talking immediately. I talked right up until the day I remembered everything I didn't stop talking immediately. I talked right up until the day I remembered everything that happened, over a year later. That was the day I went silent. It wasn't a ploy or a tactic. It wasn't psychosomatic. It was a choice. And I made it.
Katja Millay Sayings: Because it's good when you find one that does mean something. Makes all the empty Because it's good when you find one that does mean something. Makes all the empty ones worthwhile.
Katja Millay Sayings: He knew he wasn't supposed to die. He was supposed to come back so he He knew he wasn't supposed to die. He was supposed to come back so he could meet her because his heaven was where she was, even if he didn't know it at the time. And that's why he wasn't scared.
Katja Millay Sayings: When you look at her what do you feel?" "Are you fucking serious? Forget it." When you look at her what do you feel?" "Are you fucking serious? Forget it." He can kiss my ass if he wants to start talking feelings with me. "You obviously want it for a reason." "I want a picture to jack off to. What do you care?" I keep drawing so I don't have to look at him, but I'm mutilating the sketch I'm working on. I'll have to start over, but I don't care. "Joy, fear, frustration, longing, friendship, anger, need, despair, love, lust?" "Yes." "Yes, what?" "All of it," I reply, because I'm all in now whether I like it or not.
Katja Millay Sayings: People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it was People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are ... I just don't want that responsibility.
Katja Millay Sayings: There are so many things that can break you if there's nothing to hold you There are so many things that can break you if there's nothing to hold you together.
Katja Millay Sayings: The silent thing is definitely a barrier in terms of making friends The silent thing is definitely a barrier in terms of making friends
Katja Millay Sayings: I will never forget what you did to me. I will never forgive it. I I will never forget what you did to me. I will never forgive it. I will never stop mourning what you stole from me. But I realize now I can't steal it back and I'm done spending every day trying to.
Katja Millay Sayings: I doubt taking in a sullen, bitter, teenage girl with more issues than National Geographic I doubt taking in a sullen, bitter, teenage girl with more issues than National Geographic is at the center of the vision board for a single woman in her early thirties.
Katja Millay Sayings: Everything feels endless right now. Everything feels endless right now.
Katja Millay Sayings: Seeing Josh is my homecoming. I didn't tell him I was coming back. He doesn't Seeing Josh is my homecoming. I didn't tell him I was coming back. He doesn't say anything when he sees me, and neither do I, because the fact that I'm here is an answer. We just look at each other and speak in the silence like we always have and no one interrupts the conversation.
Katja Millay Sayings: People who go around advertising their birthdays are douchebags. It's a fact. You can look People who go around advertising their birthdays are douchebags. It's a fact. You can look it up on Wikipedia.
Katja Millay Sayings: I need to know that there even is such a thing as okay, or maybe I need to know that there even is such a thing as okay, or maybe not just okay, maybe even good, and it's out there and we just haven't found it yet. There's got to be a happier ending than this, here. There's got to be a better story. Because we deserve one. You deserve one. Even if it doesn't end with you coming back to me.
Josh
Katja Millay Sayings: He needs to be able to fix things and make it all better; to believe He needs to be able to fix things and make it all better; to believe that you're okay so that he can believe that he's okay.
Katja Millay Sayings: If I could be alone, I would. Gratefully. I'd rather be alone than have to If I could be alone, I would. Gratefully. I'd rather be alone than have to pretend I'm okay.
Katja Millay Sayings: Seriously, Josh. What the hell? Seriously, Josh. What the hell?
Katja Millay Sayings: Drew fills all the silence without ever realizing that he's doing it. Josh melts into Drew fills all the silence without ever realizing that he's doing it. Josh melts into the silence like he's part of it. (pg 111)
Katja Millay Sayings: What is she to you?" she whispers. The real question and I know the answer What is she to you?" she whispers. The real question and I know the answer even if I don't know how to say it. Drew's muffled voice rises up from the floor before I can respond. "Family," he says. And he's right.
Katja Millay Sayings: Then, I'll find an empty restroom and check my hair and fix my lipstick, or Then, I'll find an empty restroom and check my hair and fix my lipstick, or as we cowards like to call it, hide.
Katja Millay Sayings: And maybe I'm a liar and I do need it, because being kissed by Josh And maybe I'm a liar and I do need it, because being kissed by Josh Bennet is kind of like being saved. It's a promise and a memory of the future and a book of better stories.
Katja Millay Sayings: Some people have problems and you need to learn to empathize, not judge. Some people have problems and you need to learn to empathize, not judge.
Katja Millay Sayings: I believe in God, Sunshine. I've always believed that God exists," he says. And what I believe in God, Sunshine. I've always believed that God exists," he says. And what he says next isn't self-pity or angst or melodrama. It's truth. "I just know that he hates me." Maybe
Katja Millay Sayings: If eavesdropping on someone else's nightmares is supposed to make me feel better, I'd rather If eavesdropping on someone else's nightmares is supposed to make me feel better, I'd rather stay feeling like shit. I don't think telling them about my horror story would do me any good. And besides, I'm not even supposed to have a story to tell. - Nastya Kashnikov
Katja Millay Sayings: My mother's hope is a weapon. My mother's hope is a weapon.
Katja Millay Sayings: I wished my mother was here tonight, which is stupid, because it's an impossible wish." I wished my mother was here tonight, which is stupid, because it's an impossible wish." He shrugs and turns to me, drowning the smile that cracks me every time.
"It's not stupid to want to see her again."
"It wasn't so much that I wanted to see her again," he says, looking at me with the depth of more than seventeen years in his eyes. "I wanted her to see you.
Katja Millay Sayings: Every normal family is one tragedy away from complete implosion. Every normal family is one tragedy away from complete implosion.
Katja Millay Sayings: It's probably a class for guidance counselors only - How to Emit Inappropriate Joy in It's probably a class for guidance counselors only - How to Emit Inappropriate Joy in the Face of Adolescent Horror. I'm fairly certain they don't make teachers take it, because they don't even bother to pretend.
Katja Millay Sayings: I can't find a street sign, but I know I ran fast and I ran I can't find a street sign, but I know I ran fast and I ran far and I didn't pay attention to anything. I broke every rule that I have and I've gotten what I deserve for it. It's the middle of the night and I am alone and lost and drenched in darkness.
Katja Millay Sayings: Then one day I guess my mind decided I was ready, because that was the Then one day I guess my mind decided I was ready, because that was the day I remembered everything and then I stopped answering the questions altogether. I think maybe my brain made a mistake about how strong I was, but it didn't let me send the memories back.
Katja Millay Sayings: About last night, I told Drew to keep his hands off you.""Why would you do About last night, I told Drew to keep his hands off you."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because everyone talks shit about you because of it. But its not my business, so I'm sorry."
"And he agreed?"
"Not without persuasion."
"What kind of methods do you have that would work on drew?"
"I lied. I told him you were mine."
( ... )
"Just so you know, you didn't lie.
Katja Millay Sayings: most. If I could be alone, I would. Gratefully. I'd rather be alone than have most. If I could be alone, I would. Gratefully. I'd rather be alone than have to pretend I'm okay. But they won't give me that option. So I'll settle for being with someone who at least doesn't love me as much. I'm thankful for Margot. Not that I tell her this. Not that I tell her anything. I don't.
Katja Millay Sayings: He's the kind of good-looking that transforms once self-respecting females into useless puddles of dumbass. He's the kind of good-looking that transforms once self-respecting females into useless puddles of dumbass.
Katja Millay Sayings: I can be your other hand when you need it. I can be your other hand when you need it.
Katja Millay Sayings: if I could take a picture of the expression that passes between them, I would, if I could take a picture of the expression that passes between them, I would, and then I'd shove it in both their faces so they could never deny it again.
Katja Millay Sayings: I wish I could have saved you, he says finally. And this is what it I wish I could have saved you, he says finally. And this is what it always comes back to. Salvation. Him saving me. Me saving him. Impossibilities, because there is no such thing, and it's not what we ever needed from each other anyway.
Katja Millay Sayings: It's all my fault! Everything is my fault and no one knows it more than It's all my fault! Everything is my fault and no one knows it more than me. We're all in hell and I'm the one that put us here.
Katja Millay Sayings: Daylight won't protect you from anything. Bad things happen all the time; they don't wait Daylight won't protect you from anything. Bad things happen all the time; they don't wait until after dinner
Katja Millay Sayings: I spent every lunch period practicing in the music room and that was the only I spent every lunch period practicing in the music room and that was the only place I wanted to be.
Katja Millay Sayings: What about Josh?" I think there's more to that question than she's letting on but What about Josh?" I think there's more to that question than she's letting on but she's testing the waters. Salvation, I write. She looks at the word and nods. And for a minute she looks as sad as I feel.
"That fits, I think.
Katja Millay Sayings: I've scared, offended or made everyone uncomfortable enough to stay away. Mission accomplished. I've scared, offended or made everyone uncomfortable enough to stay away. Mission accomplished.
Katja Millay Sayings: You are the only good reason. You are the only good reason.