Being A Man Funny Famous Quotes & Sayings

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34 Being A Man Funny Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

Being A Man Funny Sayings By Ian McDonald: Najia can feel yts subdermal activators against her forearm. Not man not woman not both Najia can feel yts subdermal activators against her forearm. Not man not woman not both not neither. Nute. Another way of being human, speaking a phsyical language she does not understand. More alien to her than any man, any father, yet this body next to hers is loyal, tough, funny courageous, clever, kind, sensual, vulnerable. Sweet. Sexy. All you could wish in a friend of the soul. Or a lover. — Ian McDonald
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Being A Man Funny Sayings By Catherynne M Valente: It's funny, you know, they're always telling me to be a man, take it like It's funny, you know, they're always telling me to be a man, take it like a man, act like a man, like they're afraid if they don't keep reminding me I'll grow up to be a centaur or a dining room table, like they know, somehow, that I'm not a man, like it's a spell they can cast, if they say it enough I'll be tricked into being a man forever."
... "Yes." Tamburlaine nodded. "They always say: be a lady, speak like a lady, behave like a little lady, that's not very ladylike, is it, dear?"
"Well, I won't be a man, or take anything like one or act like one!" The troll inside him rubbed his hands gleefully, crackling with anticipation.
"Come on, then ... Don't let's be men, or ladies either. Don't let's act like them or behave like them or speak like them! — Catherynne M Valente
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Being A Man Funny Sayings By Gillian Flynn: That night at the Brooklyn party, I was playing the girl who was in style, That night at the Brooklyn party, I was playing the girl who was in style, the girl a man like Nick wants: the Cool Girl. Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. — Gillian Flynn
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Being A Man Funny Sayings By Jonathan Latimer: I was glad to get in that stall. It was a funny feeling, being naked I was glad to get in that stall. It was a funny feeling, being naked and fighting a man with a gun. I didn't like it. I felt the bullets would hurt more, naked. — Jonathan Latimer
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Being A Man Funny Sayings By Lynne Graham: (On having being just proposed to)'Have you been thinking of this for long?' she managed (On having being just proposed to)
'Have you been thinking of this for long?' she managed jerkily, praying for the shock to recede so that she could behave a little more normally.
'Let's say it crept up on me,' he suggested lightly.
That didn't sound very romantic. Muggers crept up on you; so did old age. — Lynne Graham
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Being A Man Funny Sayings By Conan O'Brien: Olympic officials have disqualified a champion race walker after determining that he was doping. They Olympic officials have disqualified a champion race walker after determining that he was doping. They disqualified him. The man said getting caught doping is almost as embarrassing as getting caught being a champion race walker. — Conan O'Brien
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Being A Man Funny Sayings By Will Rogers: Funny thing about being a U.S. senator, the only thing the law says you have Funny thing about being a U.S. senator, the only thing the law says you have to be is 30 years old. Not another single requirement. They just figure that a man that old got nobody to blame but himself if he gets caught in there. — Will Rogers
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Being A Man Funny Sayings By David Eddings: Would you look at this?" Silk waved a piece of parchment at the old man. Would you look at this?" Silk waved a piece of parchment at the old man.
"What's the problem?" Belgarath took the parchment and read it.
"That whole business was settled years ago," Silk declared in an irritated voice. "Why are these things still being circulated?"
"The description IS colorful," Belgarath noted.
"Did you see that?" Silk sounded mortally offended. He turned to Garion. "Do I look like a weasel to you?"
"
an ill-favored, weasel-faced man," Belgarath read, "shifty-eyed and with a long, pointed nose. A notorious cheat at dice."
"Do you mind? — David Eddings
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Being A Man Funny Sayings By Sarah Bessey: Perhaps it is no wonder that the women were first at the Cradle and last Perhaps it is no wonder that the women were first at the Cradle and last at the Cross. They had never known a man like this Man - there never has been another. A prophet and teacher who never nagged at them, never flattered or coaxed or patronized; who never made arch jokes about them, never treated them as "The women, God help us!" or "The ladies, God bless them!"; who rebuked without querulousness and praised without condescension; who took their questions and arguments seriously; who never mapped out their sphere for them, never urged them to be feminine or jeered at them for being female; who had no axe to grind and no uneasy male dignity to defend; who took them as he found them and was completely unselfconscious. There is no act, no sermon, no parable in the whole Gospel that borrows its pungency from female perversity; nobody could guess from the words and deeds of Jesus that there was anything "funny" about woman's nature. Dorothy Day, Catholic social activist and journalist — Sarah Bessey
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Being A Man Funny Sayings By Dominique Frost: Okay. Oh-kay.Re-cap. He just had a man come in his mouth. He liked it. He Okay. Oh-kay.
Re-cap. He just had a man come in his mouth. He liked it. He may be embarking on anal sex, soon, if he was reading the subtext right.
Options: stay or leave.
Pros of staying: first experience with anal sex.
Cons of staying: first experience with anal sex.
No, no. That isn't right.
Pros of staying: first experience with anal sex.
Cons of staying: not being able to face Pete the next day. Maybe ever.
The thing about sex, though, as Ryan is discovering, is that it's a goddamn persuasive motivator. It fucks with people's minds. — Dominique Frost
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Richard Hughes: Being nearly four years old, she was certainly a child: and children are human (if Being nearly four years old, she was certainly a child: and children are human (if one allows the term "human" a wide sense): but she had not altogether ceased to be a baby: and babies are of course not human
they are animals, and have a very ancient and ramified culture, as cats have, and fishes, and even snakes: the same in kind as these, but much more complicated and vivid, since babies are, after all, one of the most developed species of the lower vertebrates.
In short, babies have minds which work in terms and categories of their own which cannot be translated into the terms and categories of the human mind.
It is true that they look human
but not so human, to be quite fair, as many monkeys.
Subconsciously, too, every one recognizes they are animals
why else do people always laugh when a baby does some action resembling the human, as they would at a praying mantis? If the baby was only a less-developed man, there would be nothing funny in it, surely. — Richard Hughes
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Molly Harper: Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone."
"If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks. — Molly Harper
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Anthony Jeselnik: I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor. — Anthony Jeselnik
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Rachel Caine: She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose.
When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.'
'Share!' she demanded.
'Man, you are one grabby girlfriend.'
She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part.
'If you love me, you'll give me a taco.'
'Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?'
'Not for a taco,' she said. 'I'm not cheap.'
'They're brisket tacos.'
'Now you're talking. — Rachel Caine
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Adam Ferrara: Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.' — Adam Ferrara
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Eugene Mirman: People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy. — Eugene Mirman
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Robin Williams: When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side. — Robin Williams
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Denzel Washington: People have said to me for a long time, "Man you're funny." I say, "Well, People have said to me for a long time, "Man you're funny." I say, "Well, I'm quick," but being funny on purpose, take after take - that's why I said for me it was new territory, and so by improvising something might come out that might be good. And it's film, so they can cut it if it isn't. — Denzel Washington
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Ernst W. Mayr: The funny thing is if in England, you ask a man in the street who The funny thing is if in England, you ask a man in the street who the greatest living Darwinian is, he will say Richard Dawkins. And indeed, Dawkins has done a marvelous job of popularizing Darwinism. But Dawkins' basic theory of the gene being the object of evolution is totally non-Darwinian. — Ernst W. Mayr
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Bijou Hunter: Attachments made men soft. This fact was made obvious lately by my buddies. I blamed Attachments made men soft. This fact was made obvious lately by my buddies.
I blamed Tucker. A little over a year earlier, the idiot strolled over to a table filled with college girls. Each one shot him down until he was left with Maddy. For whatever reason, she thought he was funny. Or maybe just hot enough to overcome his lack of brain cells. They hooked up and he quickly handed his balls to her with a ribbon tied around them. He acted like he was still his own man, but the guy was whipped to the point of being fluffy.
Once he lost his way, the others fell like dominoes. — Bijou Hunter
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Anne Rice: What was the good of being a movie werewolf? You howled at the moon; you What was the good of being a movie werewolf? You howled at the moon; you couldn't remember what you did, and then somebody shot you. — Anne Rice
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Ian Livingstone: When he came to, the eels were still being removed from him and Anvar was When he came to, the eels were still being removed from him and Anvar was congratulating one of the rivermen. The man had smashed open a barrel of eels and covered both dwarf and zombie with them. — Ian Livingstone
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Rivka Galchen: I wonder if I talk like a dead man. My daughter once came home from I wonder if I talk like a dead man. My daughter once came home from school very excited about some lecture -this was years ago, before I died, though just right before- and she said her English teacher had talked about what the dead sound like in Dante. This funny thing about Dante's dead, which is that they know the past, and even the future, but they don't know the present. About the present they have all these questions for Dante. And that somehow is what being alive is, to be suspended in the time. She seemed to feel that really meant something. That and also that the dead know themselves better than the living do. — Rivka Galchen
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Henry Martin: One foot in Austria, the other in Italy, it's funny how man defines borders. An One foot in Austria, the other in Italy, it's funny how man defines borders. An imaginary line is all that is needed to split continents apart, to separate men and cultures, to spark wars and injustices - a line in pencil, drawn on some agreement or a peace treaty ages ago. Insanity, it's nothing but insanity. Free movement of man, something that is and has been ingrained in our essence of being, is nothing more than an illusion. We are not free to walk where we please; we are not capable of overcoming the resistance of these imaginary lines, etching deep chasms into the face of the world. — Henry Martin
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Don Roff: There was talk of the Centaur being moved into the elephant cages to make room There was talk of the Centaur being moved into the elephant cages to make room for a banjo-picking Minotaur. Surrendering his meager furnishings to a musical half man half bull was all bull. — Don Roff
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Gary Shteyngart: All of my books have an element of a man who is in love with All of my books have an element of a man who is in love with somebody and needs them desperately, not just for procreation but for being able to fully unbosom himself. He only feels comfortable discussing things with women. Which is funny, because 80 percent of readers are women! — Gary Shteyngart
Being A Man Funny Sayings By John Green: You know your problem, Quentin? You keep expecting people not to be themselves. I mean, You know your problem, Quentin? You keep expecting people not to be themselves. I mean, I could hate you for being massively unpunctual and for never being interested in anything other than Margo Roth Spiegelman, and for, like, never asking me about how it's going with my girlfriend - but I don't give a shit, man, because you're you. My parents have a shit ton of black Santas, but that's okay. They're them. I'm too obsessed with a reference website to answer my phone sometimes when my friends call, or my girlfriend. That's okay, too. That's me. You like me anyway. And I like you. You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually. — John Green
Being A Man Funny Sayings By John Rawls: Man is a historical being : The realisations of the powers of human individuals living Man is a historical being : The realisations of the powers of human individuals living at any one time takes the cooperation of many generations (or even societies) over a long period of time. By contrast with humankind, every individual animal can and does do what for the most part it might do, or what any other of its kind might or can do that lives at the same time. — John Rawls
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Jami Attenberg: But a funny thing happens when you tell a man that you don't want to But a funny thing happens when you tell a man that you don't want to get married: they don't believe you. They think you're lying to yourself or to them or you're trying to trick them in some way and you end up being made to feel worse for just telling the truth. — Jami Attenberg
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Lyn Gala: You might want to stop with the threats before my heart gives out.""You look healthy You might want to stop with the threats before my heart gives out."
"You look healthy enough."
"And you look sane. Imagine that," Stunt shot right back. His common sense kicked in about a second too late to save him from his mouth, and there was a long silence. Insulting the man holding you at gunpoint showed a real lack of common sense. Insulting him and then not being able to see the reaction because your back was turned and he'd gone utterly silent was so very much worse. — Lyn Gala
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Molly Harper: Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad."
I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a grunt and staggering back toward my opponent.
Behind me, Zeb yelled, "She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?"
"You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy. — Molly Harper
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Hunter S. Thompson: What do you want? Where's the goddamn ice I ordered? Where's the booze? There's a What do you want? Where's the goddamn ice I ordered? Where's the booze? There's a war on, man! People are being killed! — Hunter S. Thompson
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Demetri Martin: When they were naming vitamins they must have thought there were going to be way When they were naming vitamins they must have thought there were going to be way more vitamins than there ended up being. OK let's name these: Vitamin A, Vitamin B ... ok man slow down we've got a lot to cover here. B2, B3, B4, B5, B6, B12. Then they got to E and they were like 'We're pretty much done. We've got all those damn B's. This is embarrassing. Let's just skip to K and get the hell out of here. — Demetri Martin
Being A Man Funny Sayings By Ashley Purdy: Being unique is what's cool man. Being normal? What's that? That's a setting on a Being unique is what's cool man. Being normal? What's that? That's a setting on a washing machine. Nobody wants to be that. — Ashley Purdy