Condoms Famous Quotes & Sayings
100 Condoms Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.
The first time my mom found condoms in my room, she literally started crying hysterically.— Jason Segel
Now I have to think about whether I shoved the condoms in the fridge with the scallops.— Tawna Fenske
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.— Bruce Lansky
Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you.— Carroll Bryant
They'll have to eat first. And by the time they're finished, you'll be back."— Karen Chance
"With the condoms." "Right." "For the giant orgy you're convinced we're about to have in the backyard."
"Dory! Just go!" "I'll go with," Ray said, getting up. "I need a snack." Which was how I ended up condom shopping with a vampire.
A gentleman who doesn't have the physical and/or emotional sensitivity to use condoms couldn't possibly possess the self-confidence required to fully procure the infinite sounding of pleasure from the depth of a woman's being, via the endlessness of her cunt.— Inga Muscio
If we can just get young people to do the same as their fathers did, that is, wear condoms— Richard Branson
Well, there are lot of people who make a lot of money off the fifth- and sixth-life crises. All of a sudden they have a ton of consumers scared out of their minds and willing to buy facial cream, designer jeans, SAT test prep courses, condoms, cars, scooters, self-help books, watches, wallets, stocks, whatever ... all the crap that the twenty-somethings used to buy, they now have the ten-somethings buying. They doubled their market!— Ned Vizzini
Because Clare had never let the fact that Mark didn't have a father in his life get in the way of sex education. She'd been showing Mark how to roll condoms onto bananas long before he'd known it was other bananas he was interested in.— Lisa Henry
Condoms aren't a hundred percent you know," he reminds me calmly. My mind flashes to a certain episode of Friends, and I suddenly feel like yelling out that they should put that on the outside of the box.— Chantal Fernando
Five trolls in a dra-a-a-a-ag,' the four-inch man sang from my shoulder. 'Four purple condoms, three French ticklers, two horny vamps and a succubus in the snow.— Kim Harrison
Religious freedom doesn't include the freedom to disregard the law and restrict another's freedom to believe and act differently. No one's forcing Catholic nuns to practice birth control, or priests to wear condoms (good idea tho). If you really feel your religious beliefs conflict with the mandates of running a business, the solution is simple: Get your ass out of the boardroom and back to the pulpit (where it belongs).— Quentin R. Bufogle
When will it all be over? When will she have time to think and feel again? Presumably not till the baby is a teenager and can safely fend for himself. Although, of course, teenagers need to be taught to drive and say no to drugs and wear condoms.— Liane Moriarty
Was it really just an hour ago that he'd licked me into nirvana at the top of the hill? We'd been buying condoms and planning an afternoon of hot sex, and now we were on a witch-hunt. Seeking retribution. Out for blood.— Sofia Grey
It was too late to buy beer but thank God there's no curfew on condoms.— Beth Myrle Rice
You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms.— Janet Evanovich
Joe Morelli
We're doing a great disservice to our young people because the only protection is abstinence, as condoms have been proven fallible ... The federal government should not be telling young people to use condoms ... It's also an insult to teenagers, reducing them to the level of a dog that can't control its hormones.— Christine O'Donnell
I was afraid you were going to have sex with that man, and I knew you weren't prepared. I brought you condoms!" The memory of her mom sprawled on the ground with her leg twisted under her, lying amongst the scattered condoms,— Hailey Mansfield
About President Bush's stand against condoms, condoms will not protect you from AIDS . So to just throw a bunch of condoms over to Africa and say, here, we're helping you with AIDS, is just going to further the spread of AIDS over there.— Christine O'Donnell
Used" is such an odd word, so much stranger than "secondhand." A prefix for condoms, and there's a certain squalor attached to the idea of reusing those. "Used books," as if someone else has had the best of them and you get the sere husk, or the lees, as if a book isn't the one thing, the one product, that is forever new. There's no such thing as a used book. Or there's no such thing as a book if it's not being used. I— Deborah Meyler
I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms.— Aziz Ansari
Just FYI," Lenny says, his face still red from the nasty sunburn. "I've got a shitload of condoms in my duffle. Front pocket."— Simone Elkeles
"For what?"
"Listen if you don't know what condoms are for I'm not gonna teach you."
"I know what they're for, shithead. I just highly doubt you're getting any ass on this trip."
"Watch me," Lenny says. "My boy gets action all the time."
"Yeah, I bet your right hand is tired from all that action" I mumble as I walk to the bathroom. "I'm a leftie!" Lenny calls after me.
I try not to wince from thinking about it.
I looked at whale jawbones in the museum this morning. Then I did some shopping. Whenever I go into the drugstore it seems that many people are buying condoms and motion sickness medicine.— Lydia Davis
I live dangerously enough. Now what's this about condoms or tigers?— Kendare Blake
Civilization is drugs, alcohol, engines of war, prostitution, machines and machine slaves, low wages, bad food, bad taste, prisons, reformatories, lunatic asylums, divorce, perversion, brutal sports, suicides, infanticide, cinema, quackery, demagogy, strikes, lockouts, revolutions, putsches, colonization, electric chairs, guillotines, sabotage, floods, famine, disease, gangsters, money barons, horse racing, fashion shows, poodle dogs, chow dogs, Siamese cats, condoms, peccaries, syphilis, gonorrhea, insanity, neuroses, etc., etc.— Henry Miller
[Television executives] are afraid to advertise condoms that could save lives, but do not blush about telecasting a National Geographic special on President Reagan's pelvic plumbing.— Martin Nolan
![Condoms Sayings By Martin Nolan: [Television executives] are afraid to advertise condoms that could save lives, but do not blush](https://www.greatsayings.net/images/condoms-sayings-by-martin-nolan-20965.jpg "Condoms Sayings By Martin Nolan: [Television executives] are afraid to advertise condoms that could save lives, but do not blush")
Could be an amazing product, sell like condoms at a high school prom, donuts at a police convention, sunscreen on a Caribbean crush ship.— Dennis Vickers
Like the pagans of old, unaffected by climate, the British were now dancing around a giant phallus. Unlike the pagans theirs was a sterile phallus, disarmed by condoms and pills - the first heathen sexual cult to be based around sterility rather than fertility.— Peter Hitchens
Wrestling is very similar to gay sex, but you don't have to wear condoms.— Jack Barakat
What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction ... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.— Dov Davidoff
I think we've had rather too much dirt rather than not enough. That's not a prudish English remark, but a statement of saturation. These up-and-coming young men," she splutters. "Penelope Fitzgerald— A.S. Byatt
they think, 'Ah! Middle-aged lady with frizzy hair and a nice smile; she must be writing tastefully.' I say she's writing against taste, quite savagely. But they don't pick it up because they're brash young men poncing about, waving their blood and thunder and condoms!
I turned to Eddie. "Okay, I've never done this. This is the guy's department. What do I do? We need to get Lee's size and we need industrial strength. Show me which ones to buy."— Kristen Ashley
Eddie looked at the display and looked to me. "You're askin' me to help you buy condoms for Lee?"
" Industrial strength condoms," I reminded him.
Eddie stared at me like he was re-thinking his crush on me.
"okay," I said, trying to be helpful, "we'll break it down. We'll start with the size."
He shook his head. "First, I'm a little worried you're lookin' to me to tell you Lee's size. Lee es mi hermano , but we aren't that close. Second, they don't come in sizes.
Honey, are you being safe?'— Leta Blake
'I wear my seat belt, yes.'
'Does this Rob Lovely wear a seat belt too?'
Matty sighed. 'Mother, seat belts should be worn at all times when in a moving vehicle. Didn't you teach me that?'
'So long as we're both talking about condoms here, then I'll leave it.'
'Consider it left.
Your generation has been the target of incredible disinformation on the subject of premarital sex, which is another enticing addictive behavior to be considered. In this instance, our own government is responsible for much of the confusion. For some thirty years, federal and state programs have promoted a concept its promoters call "safe sex," which refers to the use of condoms in sexual intercourse. Billions of dollars have been spent telling young people that they can have sex - lots of really good sex - without suffering from the consequences of it. Condoms, they say, will solve all the problems.— James C. Dobson
Scary mommy confession #80920— Jill Smokler
I invited you into my home as a guest. And you brought my two year old permanent markers and play-doh. next time I visit you, I'm bringing your teenage daughter condoms and crack.
I held my bag open and he dropped Jenks inside.— Kim Harrison
"Hey!" the pixy protested, and then, "Tink's little pink dildo, Rache? Haven't you gotten rid of those condoms yet? They got a shelf life, you know.
There is mud everywhere, slicking the asphalt and piling up in corners along with the detritus of daily life: pop cans, cigarette butts, used condoms and bullet shells.— Isaac Marion
Used to have a crush on Dawn from En Vogue.— Phife Dawg
It's not like honey dip would wanna get with me,
But just in case I own more condoms than TLC.
I didn't eat."— Karen Chance
"What difference does that make?"
"I'm not like you. I can't recharge by feeding off someone. I need food."
"I know that! When was the last time you ate?"
"Yesterday."
"Yester
why the hell didn't you eat?"
"We had to go buy condoms, remember?"
"And you couldn't grab a sandwich on the way out?" he said hysterically. "I'm gonna die because you couldn't grab a sandwich?
Something just ain't right about thanking the Lord for sending you an opportunistic pretty boy who carried a string of condoms and single use packets of lube in his pocket. Still, I did it.— James Buchanan
As far as Obama is concerned, the only religion to be "reformed" - which is to say destroyed - is the faith that shaped the West, not the religion of the West's historic adversary. Obama has in effect declared to Christians in America: either bring your understanding of Christianity into line with my liberalism or don't bother entering the public square. You want federal money? Well then, perform abortions, distribute condoms, and hire homosexual activists. He would never dare talk to Muslims in those terms. He gives back ancestral swords to freed Muslims from Guantanamo Bay and hands abortionists' forceps to Christian doctors.— Phyllis Schlafly
Is it a recent occurrence that women have tried to control when and if they reproduced? Absolutely not. By 2000 B.C., there was worldwide use of herbal potions to prevent pregnancy. Condoms were made from animal bladders.— Karen DeCrow
Nowadays, you can do anything that you want - anal, oral, fisting - but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.— Slavoj Zizek
Now, this is where I draw the line! It's bad enough everybody in town's going to be thinkin' I'm sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she's just about cornered the market on condoms-I don't know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin' a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me?— Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Pope Francis said the use of contraception could be justified in regions hit by the Zika virus; a stance that could reignite a debate over the church's prohibition of the use of condoms to stop the spread of the AIDS virus. The pope also criticized Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump as 'not Christian' for his immigration stance, and broke with his predecessors by suggesting that Catholic lawmakers are free to vote for same-sex marriage and civil unions if they want to.— Rush Limbaugh
Stop hiding condoms in my stuff. It's like some twisted Easter egg hunt in there.— Alyxandra Harvey
I feel like you're trying to convince me that we don't need condoms, but fuck that. If you impregnate me, I'm going to devour " you like a praying mantis." I pin Zeph against the wall and kiss her hard, because her threatening to kill or mutilate me is always so hot.— Gisele Walko
Throwing cash for the whole meal on the table, Kelly got up abruptly. That's it. Come on. We're going shopping. Clothes. Lingerie. Shoes. Condoms.— Laura Kaye
Football is being used as a language in that project ... The vital message being communicated to the boys and young men is about safe sex, the use of condoms and preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS.— Roger Moore
It seemed to me, watching, that if you were dextrous enough to gift-wrap an independent-minded amphibian, you could just about manage a condom.— Naomi Wolf
Then he would get into a plane and leave the field wide open; the field was crammed with paralegals, all of them stoutly armed with condoms.— Lydia Millet
I carry condoms in my purse, even though I haven't had sex in a long time. I'm hoping for luck! And I carry them so I can give them to other people who might want or need them, or who might want to have a conversation.— Sharon Stone
So, a meaningful relationship. Dude, have fun, but wear a condom, that's all I can say— Kenneth Eade
Radical feminism, male lesbians, transsexuals, musical condoms with suspenders, and lotsa drummers drumming are all manifestations of a political agenda with roots in the 1960s. This is all fruit we are reaping from the sexual revolution.— Rush Limbaugh
This death has been sponsored by Pringles, Taco Bell, Toyota, Trojan Condoms, and one evil, fucking genius.— Stephanie Jackson
The worst of all of this is the lie that condoms really protect against AIDS. The condom failure rate can be as high as 20 percent. Would you get on a plane - or put your children on a plane - if one of five passengers would be killed on the flight? Well, the statistic holds for condoms, folks.— Rush Limbaugh
I know the Pope is opposed to the use of condoms. All I can say is, I am a spiritual man and I've been happily married for 21 years. I don't even know what a condom is anymore.— Tom Hanks
One of the fundamental axioms of masculine self-regard is that the tools and appurtenances of a man's life must be containable within the pockets of his jacket and pants. Wallet, keys, gum, show or ball game tickets, Kleenex, condoms, cell phone, maybe a lighter and a pack of cigarettes: Just cram it all in there, motherfucker.— Michael Chabon
You know you're in love when you wear condoms while having sex with other women.— Owen Wilson
He grinned like a proud male and moved closer. "It was good."— Susan Mallery
"Are you asking or telling?"
"I know it was good."
She'd just experienced the longest orgasm in modern history. Who was she to be critical? "It was amazing."
He cupped her face and kissed her. "We could do it again."
"I don't think that's possible."
Instead of answering, he bent down and drew her nipple into his mouth. Then he reached between her legs and lightly touched her. Instantly jolts shot through her. She found herself wanting to pull him close and beg to be taken.
He drew back. "What do you think?"
She looked into his amused eyes. "That maybe I might have a little more time to make up for."
"I figured."
"Did you bring more condoms?"
"Yes."
"Thank God.
Any reason why we couldn't just ditch the condoms from now on?" Surprise— Madeleine Urban
You know what's not sexy?" I pushed his hand away. "Barbies. Barbies are not sexy."— Laurie Halse Anderson
"But I bought condoms," he said. "I even practiced putting one on!"
The lost-puppy look on his face made me smile. "I'm proud of you, Boner Man, but that's not enough.
Jesus. Why couldn't he have had boys? All boys. Little fucking shits like Cage. A whole slew of 'em he could throw condoms at and be done with it.— Madeline Sheehan
What are you gonna help us with? That very tiny used condom?— Booth
Since i couldn't remember the "real" first time i'd lost my virginity, this would have become my de facto first time. I wanted a better story then: I did it with this boy who i wasn't very into and who had mysterious Gaterade breath; in his room decorated with sports equipment; at least he was nice enough to provide condoms and get his ancient, horny dog to leave us along.— Gabrielle Zevin
I always struggled with opening single-serving items such as bags of M&M's or condoms.— Penny Reid
Yeah, he muttered, bent and kissed her jaw then moved from the bed thinking that if she wasn't cool with taking him ungloved, he was buying a fucking case of condoms and stashing them everywhere so they'd never run out. Her house. Her Cayenne. His truck. His wallet. Her wallet. His workout bag. His office. The club. Her nightstand. His bedroom at home.— Kristen Ashley
Every-fucking-where.
Dozens of those fuckers.
When the Catholic Church insists that it is more sinful to use condoms in the midst of a sexually transmitted epidemic that it is for the same Church to withhold approbation of the use of condoms, it is less suprising that the sexual abuse of minors was handled unethically.— Mary Gail Frawley-O'Dea
No matter what those sex-ed teachers say about how great condoms are, there's not a condom in the world to protect you from heartbreak.— Natasha Friend
The issue we are reluctant to talk about is even more sensitive than condoms. The issue - and I will try to be tasteful here - is that sometimes it seems like maybe the president of the United States is kind of dumb. If you get what I mean. What I mean is, I am not totally confident that the president would get what I mean, unless several aides explained it to him. And even then, he might forget.— Dave Barry
Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.— Chris Hardwick
We tilt our heads back and open wide. The snow drifts into our zombie mouths crawling with grease and curses and tobacco flakes and cavities and boyfriend/girlfriend juice, the stain of lies. For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds. For one breath everything feels better.— Laurie Halse Anderson
Then it melts.
The bus drivers rev their engines and the ice cloud shatters. Everyone shuffles forward. They don't know what just happened. They can't remember.
One day, while at the drugstore picking up some aspirin for my Mom, dear old Mrs. Burns, our pharmacist, shoved a pack of condoms into my hand with a conspiratorial wink.— Ramona Wray
"They glow in the dark," she whispered.
This, from a sixty-five year-old granny, I kid you not. Stuff of nightmares.
I don't think I'm ever going to want to start using condoms after this baby gets here," she says. "Good. Because I'm going to get you pregnant as soon as you have this one." "Okay," she says. And I can feel her smile against my chest. I palm the back of her head and tug her hair so she'll look up at me. "Okay?" "Yes. Get me pregnant. Please. Make a baby with me. Make our family bigger." She throws her arms open wide. "I want it to be fucking huge." "Okay," I whisper. "You're in, Paul." "Yes, I'm in." I'm further in than I ever dreamed she would let me be.— Tammy Falkner
City Point is so beautiful, she says. In the night they cannot see the garbage that litters the beach, the seaweed and driftwood, the condoms that wallow sluggishly on the foam's edge, discarded on the shore like the minuscule loathsome animals of the sea. Yeah, it's something, he says slowly.— Norman Mailer
Maybe you need to save your dad-concerns for when I'm found drunk, or high - and - arrested because my secret Argentinean boyfriend, Ignacio, convinced me to smuggle condoms full of drugs and— Anne Eliot
Bracelets with white symbols?" Michael made the question casual; in fact, he bent his head and concentrated on tuning his guitar, not that it needed it. Every note sounded perfect as it whispered out of the strings. "Do you remember?"— Rachel Caine
"No." She felt a pure burst of something that wasn't quite panic, wasn't quite excitement. "Does that mean they have Protection?"
He hesitated for about a second, just long enough for her to know he was surprised. "You mean condoms?" he asked. "Doesn't everybody?
What about your mom?" "She offered to take me to Planned Parenthood to get the Pill and told me to make Adam get tested for various diseases. In the meantime, she ordered me to buy condoms now. She even gave me ten bucks to start my supply.— Gayle Forman
Holy shit ... but we were using condoms."— Katie Ashley
Pink tinged her cheeks. "Not the weekend at the lodge."
He leaned over and lowered his voice. "Yeah, but I pulled out."
Emma cocked her brows. "And you're Mr. Super Potent Sperm, remember?
I love when problems have simple solutions. Cold medicine. Umbrellas. Condoms. Tax incentives & subsidies attracting favored industries.— Greg Fitzsimmons
She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That's life. That's love. That's fiscally irresponsible.— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
No doubt he'd been with Heidi until all hours of the morning. He knew where she stood about sex, condoms, his future, Heidi's ... bringing it up now would only exacerbate an already prickly situation.— Lisa Jackson
"Nothing good happens after midnight," she reminded him.
"You're wrong, Mom, and you know it.
We live in a culture in which condoms can be handed out in schools and Bibles can't. And I think that tells you everything you need to know about our society.— Janet E. Smith
You gotta think it's a waste of - "— Karen Chance
"Ray!" I glanced around, but there was nobody within earshot.
"Well, excuse me if I'm not used to buying condoms for aliens," he said more softly.
"They're not aliens."
"Well, they're not human. I mean, they could have anything under those tunics, you know?
You can hand out condoms, drop bombs, build roads, or put in electricity, but until the girls are educated a society won't change.— Greg Mortenson
The water shut off, and a second later Daemon came out with the sweats hanging low on his hips, and his skin was dewy, glistening. My eyes were fixated on his stomach and the drops of water running over the dips, disappearing under the band of the sweats. I was still only in a towel.— Jennifer L. Armentrout
And I was holding a box of condoms in my hand.
My face was red as a ladybug.
One dark eyebrow went up.
My gaze fell to the box and then went back to him. "Confident, aren't you?"
"I'd like to call it being prepared for any occasion." "Although, I am disappointed they don't have little alien faces on them like everything else."
I choked on my next breath. "What kind of motel sells condoms?"
"My favorite kind of motel?" ... "You've spent this entire time looking at this instead of eating something, haven't you?
Okay, I've never done this. This is the guy's department. What do I do? We need to get Lee's size and we need industrial strength. Show me which ones to buy."— Kristen Ashley
Eddie looked at the display and looked at me. "You're askin' me to help you buy condoms for Lee?"
"Industrial strength condoms," I reminded him.
...
"Let me get this straight," he said and I could tell he was laughing, "you dragged Eddie to Walgreen's to help pick out condoms for me?"
"Well, I didn't know!" ...
"Did you tell Eddie the part about long-lasting reliability?"
Oh Lord.
"Forget it," I said.
"Indy?" he called.
"What?" I snapped, kinda pissy.
"I love you." He still had laughter in his voice and there was something very cool about him laughing and saying I love you at the same time.
Don't come in, Dad!" Hank said.— Eli Easton
"Believe me, I won't," Karma said with a vocal shiver. "Just ... I have, um, condoms and lube." And in a mutter, "Your mother made me.
Although every person makes mistakes, not every mistake makes a person.— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
No sun cream or condoms, just in case you're looking at the lady-boys. There's plenty of AIDS lingering about and every STD you can imagine.— Simon Palmer
Nanahara: Where are you going, Boss?— Kou Yoneda
Yashiro: To the convenience store. Whenever I buy all the condoms they have in stock and bring it to the cashier, the part-timer there makes a funny face.
Nanahara: ... That's an interesting hobby.
We need condoms for the heart.— Jen Frederick
Men who refuse to use condoms do not deserve to be fucked by anyone but other men who refuse to use condoms.— Inga Muscio
It's like you have a special skill when it comes to finding condoms. Seriously. They must fall out of the sky whenever you're around.— Jennifer L. Armentrout
For if in careless summer days— George Orwell
In groves of Ashtaroth we whored,
Repentant now, when winds blow cold,
We kneel before our rightful lord;
The lord of all, the money-god,
Who rules us blood and hand and brain,
Who gives the roof that stops the wind,
And, giving, takes away again;
Who spies with jealous, watchful care,
Our thoughts, our dreams, our secret ways,
Who picks our words and cuts our clothes,
And maps the pattern of our days;
Who chills our anger, curbs our hope,
And buys our lives and pays with toys,
Who claims as tribute broken faith,
Accepted insults, muted joys;
Who binds with chains the poet's wit,
The navvy's strength, the soldier's pride,
And lays the sleek, estranging shield
Between the lover and his bride.
That's my point, you dumb f-ing Mick. You're not just letting him poach on your turf— Kelley Armstrong
you're opening the gate and inviting him in ... Why don't you just hand him a bouquet of roses and a box of f-ing condoms while you're at it, Jacko?"
"It's not like that," Jack said.
"No? Nadia is yours, and it's about time you had the balls to do something about it.
I roll my eyes. I wonder how many protein shakes are required to allow a man to go through half a box of condoms in a single evening and still be able to roll out of bed with the rising sun come morning. I slept until ten and still feel as though I spent the evening strapped to a mechanical bull with no off switch.— Julianna Keyes
How is it that mankind can engineer condoms to prevent pregnancy and STDs and not be able to invent some sort of emotional safeguard? Is it even possible to abstain from falling in love?— Daria Snadowsky
Condoms instantly shot to the number-one position on my mental list of must-find survival supplies, far ahead of food, water, and a way across the Mississippi River.— Mike Mullin
There is not only a lack of success for condoms. It's worse than that - they are utter failures.— Wendy Wright
