Funny Ask Famous Quotes & Sayings

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Pinterest Share on Linkedin

100 Funny Ask Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

Funny Ask Sayings By Mira Monroe: You're tougher than you think, or we wouldn't be such great friends. You need to You're tougher than you think, or we wouldn't be such great friends. You need to snap out of it, Will." She snaps her fingers. "You, me - we don't belong here in your head."
"My head?"
"Ask yourself why you'd have me here, besides the fact that I'm awesome. I do what?" Her eyebrow raises.
I search and say the natural response: "Tell it like it is?"
She nods.
Ding ding ding. I'm winning the fair prize if I can just complete the puzzle. — Mira Monroe
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By L.M. Montgomery: Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Do you expect to attend many balls, if I may ask?' and Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Do you expect to attend many balls, if I may ask?' and I said, 'Yes, when I am rich and famous.' and Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Yes, when the moon is made of green cheese. — L.M. Montgomery
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Seamus Dever: No, it's that fun we have. It's real. I'm so thankful they cast good, funny, No, it's that fun we have. It's real. I'm so thankful they cast good, funny, interesting, warm, kind people in "Castle", because we blend very well together. At this point it's like a family. We help each other. I constantly ask them: "What's funnier: if I do this or I do that?" And I don't think we care anymore about looking weak or unprofessional. We all just want the best for each other and for the show. — Seamus Dever
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Dakota Cassidy: [Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"[Lola] "The side that has the least [Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"
[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. — Dakota Cassidy
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Ronnie Shakes: A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?' — Ronnie Shakes
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Ben Horowitz: I had a terrible time hiring rich people. It sounds funny, but the problem is I had a terrible time hiring rich people. It sounds funny, but the problem is when things go wrong they can ask, 'Why am I doing this?' You don't ever want anybody asking that question. You want them to say, 'I know why I'm doing it, I need the money, let's go' or whatever it is that draws them. — Ben Horowitz
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Anthony Horowitz: Believe me, It would be better if we didn't meet again. Go back to school. Believe me, It would be better if we didn't meet again. Go back to school. Go back to your life. And next time they ask you, say no. Killing is for grown-ups and you're still a child. — Anthony Horowitz
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Neal Shusterman: Connor tries to hold her arm to give her support, but she shakes him off Connor tries to hold her arm to give her support, but she shakes him off and throws him a nasty gaze. "If I want your help, I'll ask. Do I look feeble to you?"
"Actually, yes."
"Looks are deceiving." she says. " After all, when I saw you, I thought you looked reasonably intelligent."
"Very funny. — Neal Shusterman
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Katie Coyle: I hear the chipper voice of the Church magazines chirping in my brain: You're in I hear the chipper voice of the Church magazines chirping in my brain: You're in a relationship with a boy who treats you as his emotional and spiritual equal. You feel a desire to express your affection through physical acts that will bring mutual pleasure. Do you (a) go for it! Sex is a natural gift from God, and a lot of fun so long as you do it safely!; (b) get him to propose! Sex is only fun if you do it in a Church of America-approved union! Plus, babies are so cute!; or (c) seek guidance from your local pastor for your sinful thoughts and ask for tips on expressing your love in a holy, nonphysical way? TRICK QUESTION! The answer is (d) the fact that you even momentarily considered having sex out of wedlock proves that you have no place in God's eternal kingdom, you reprehensible slut. — Katie Coyle
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Ashish Chauhan: When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them. — Ashish Chauhan
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Barbara Kingsolver: It's a funny thing: people often ask how I discipline myself to write. I can't It's a funny thing: people often ask how I discipline myself to write. I can't begin to understand the question. For me, the discipline is turning off the computer and leaving my desk to do something else. — Barbara Kingsolver
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Mark Billingham: I wanted to write at school - to write funny stories which the teacher might I wanted to write at school - to write funny stories which the teacher might ask me to read out to the class. It's all basically about showing off. — Mark Billingham
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Jim Gaffigan: I love the impatience of New York ... You ever had somebody not ask you I love the impatience of New York ... You ever had somebody not ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ... You know, like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time. — Jim Gaffigan
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Barbara Hambly: Funny," [Antryg] said, "if you're a mage, they always ask you to read the future, Funny," [Antryg] said, "if you're a mage, they always ask you to read the future, as if knowing it will help. I think three-fourths of all prayers prayed are for two and two not to equal four. — Barbara Hambly
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Christopher Hitchens: In the 1992 election, Mr. Clinton raised discrete fortunes from a gorgeous mosaic of diversity In the 1992 election, Mr. Clinton raised discrete fortunes from a gorgeous mosaic of diversity and correctness. From David Mixner and the gays he wrung immense sums on the promise of lifting the ban on homosexual service in "the military" - a promise he betrayed with his repellent "don't ask, don't tell" policy. From a variety of feminist circles he took even larger totals for what was dubbed "The Year of the Woman," while he and his wife applauded Anita Hill for her bravery in "speaking out" about funny business behind the file cabinets. — Christopher Hitchens
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Jim Gaffigan: You never want to be the worst bowler of the group-because then everyone treats you You never want to be the worst bowler of the group-because then everyone treats you like you have cancer. "You can do it! We're praying for you." The advice starts. "Use a heavier ball." "Keep your arm straight." "You should get a vasectomy." If you're really bad at bowling like me, they'll ask if want the bumpers up. Not that bowling is that complex anyway. "You want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins. Why don't you take this coloring book and sit in the corner?" — Jim Gaffigan
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Elizabeth Gilbert: Who the hell do you think you are?" your darkest interior voices will demand. "It's Who the hell do you think you are?" your darkest interior voices will demand. "It's funny you should ask," you can reply. "I'll tell you who I am: I am a child of God, just like anyone else. I am a constituent of this universe. I have invisible spirit benefactors who believe in me, and who labor — Elizabeth Gilbert
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Lana Parrilla: I never liked apples. In fact, when I was a little girl, my mom wanted I never liked apples. In fact, when I was a little girl, my mom wanted to give me apples in my lunch box and I would ask for green peppers. So bizarre ... It's funny - I don't have an apple a day, but I can say that I have a few a week. — Lana Parrilla
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Mitch Hedberg: The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough." — Mitch Hedberg
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Dennis Miller: Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8 degrees. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix. — Dennis Miller
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Saurabh Sharma: Simple answers to the most difficult questions:1. Why do humans find it difficult to express Simple answers to the most difficult questions:

1. Why do humans find it difficult to express themselves?

To relate to the movies and books, later.


2. Why do humans make everything look so big, beautiful & complicated?

Ego feels good.


3. Why do humans want to protect the nature?

Because they can't even protect themselves. Moreover, they are guilty conscious.


4. What is romance?

It is complicated as far as humans are concerned.


5. What is love?

The complicated part of the fourth question.


6. What is unconditional love?

Not there yet.


7. Who is God?

Sixth leads you to the seventh.


8. Who am I?

Ask yourself.


9. What is loneliness?

Potential energy wasted on learned answers.


10. What is happiness?

All of the above. — Saurabh Sharma
More Pictures »
Funny Ask Sayings By Rick Riordan: What's for dinner, Dad?" Pelops asked.Tantalus had never liked his son. I don't know why. What's for dinner, Dad?" Pelops asked.
Tantalus had never liked his son. I don't know why. Maybe Tantalus knew the kid would take over his kingdom someday. Greek kings were always paranoid about stuff like that. Anyway, Tantalus gave his son an evil smile and pulled out a butcher's knife. "Funny you should ask. — Rick Riordan
Funny Ask Sayings By Joanne McClean: How are you feeling Sweet Peach?" he enquires as he walks across to the chest How are you feeling Sweet Peach?" he enquires as he walks across to the chest of drawers, selects a pair of socks and pulls them on.
Sweet Peach? What the hell?
He's definitely gay ...
I shrug. "Er ... okay, I guess. I really don't remember much though. How did I get here ... and why am I wearing your t-shirt?" I ask hesitantly, afraid of the answer.
Hagen laughs nervously. "I brought you home when you couldn't tell me where you lived. And don't worry, you got changed all by yourself ... in the kitchen ... for like an hour. — Joanne McClean
Funny Ask Sayings By Timothy Pina: You've got to stop and ask yourself once in a while ... why some asinine You've got to stop and ask yourself once in a while ... why some asinine politicians would quicker cut out social security than the space program ... Go figure. — Timothy Pina
Funny Ask Sayings By Alice Walker: If this were a courageous country,it would ask Gloria to lead itsince she is sane If this were a courageous country,
it would ask Gloria to lead it
since she is sane and funny and beautiful and smart
and the National Leaders we've always had
are not.
When I listen to her talk about women's rights
children's rights
men's rights
I think of the long line of Americans
who should have been president, but weren't.
Imagine Crazy Horse as president. Sojourner Truth.
John Brown. Harriet Tubman. Black Elk or Geronimo.
Imagine President Martin Luther King confronting
the youthful "Oppie" Oppenheimer. Imagine President
Malcolm X going after the Klan. Imagine President Stevie
Wonder dealing with the "Truly Needy."
Imagine President Shirley Chisholm, Ron Dellums, or
Sweet Honey in the Rock
dealing with Anything.
It is imagining to make us weep with frustration,
as we languish under real estate dealers, killers,
and bad actors. — Alice Walker
Funny Ask Sayings By Ed Byrne: I'm a fan of Bill Hicks. He did things that no other stand up did I'm a fan of Bill Hicks. He did things that no other stand up did at the time. He was making fun of religion, at that time it was a lot harder to say those things in the States than it was here. To slag off Christianity and fundamentalist Christians, and to be pro drugs and anti gun in the deep south, that's a big ask. And he did that and made it funny. Bill Hicks was able to say things that he really thought, and he managed to make those thoughts funny without a care if it antagonised people. — Ed Byrne
Funny Ask Sayings By Pascalle Lepas: There's this funny thing I've noticed about people. You never really get the story you There's this funny thing I've noticed about people. You never really get the story you expect. Ask them about what they have, and they'll tell you about what they want. Ask them to tell you about love, and they'll tell you about heartbreak. Ask them about death, though, and they'll tell you about life. — Pascalle Lepas
Funny Ask Sayings By Frankie Boyle: Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11. — Frankie Boyle
Funny Ask Sayings By Anna Banks: I glance at him. He's looking at me, his expression every bit as expectant as I glance at him. He's looking at me, his expression every bit as expectant as I feel. I hate this little game of ours. Maybe because I'm no good at it. He won't tell me more unless I ask. Curiosity is one of my most incurable flaws
and Galen knows it.
Still, I already gave up a perfectly good tantrum for him, so I feel like he owes me. Never mind that he saved my life today. That was so two hours ago. — Anna Banks
Funny Ask Sayings By Shamus McCarty: When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is. * If it When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is.

* If it replies "Brains," blow its fucking head off.
* If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life.
* Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian. — Shamus McCarty
Funny Ask Sayings By John Dos Passos: When they were all up playing in the nursery George caught something again and had When they were all up playing in the nursery George caught something again and had monia on account of getting cold on his chest and Yourfather was very solemn and said not to grieve if God called little brother away. But God brought little George back to them only he was delicate after that and had to wear glasses, and when Dearmother let Eveline help bathe him because Miss Mathilda was having the measles too Eveline noticed he had something funny there where she didn't have anything. She asked Dearmother if it was a mump, but Dearmother scolded her and said she was a vulgar little girl to have looked. Hush, child, don't ask questions. Evaline got red all over and cried and Adelaide and Margaret wouldn't speak to her for days on account of her being a vulgar little girl. — John Dos Passos
Funny Ask Sayings By Kathryn Stockett: Miss Celia stares down into the pot like she's looking for her future. "Are you Miss Celia stares down into the pot like she's looking for her future. "Are you happy, Minny?"
"Why you ask me funny questions like that?"
"But are you?"
"Course I's happy. You happy too. Big house, big yard, husband looking after you." I frown at Miss Celia and I make sure she can see it. Because ain't that white people for you, wondering if they are happy ENOUGH. — Kathryn Stockett
Funny Ask Sayings By Jinat Rehana Begum: Sometimes, when you are busy and children ask funny questions, you don't think so much. Sometimes, when you are busy and children ask funny questions, you don't think so much. You just answer quickly so they will leave you alone. If you don't answer, they will just keep asking or they will go and do something very bad. — Jinat Rehana Begum
Funny Ask Sayings By Michael Jackson: Never ask for 'a beer.' Never ask for 'a beer.' — Michael Jackson
Funny Ask Sayings By Lucille Clifton: Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense — Lucille Clifton
Funny Ask Sayings By Tina Fey: My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. "You don't My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. "You don't know their situation," my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn't even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald's food turns into cold nonfood. — Tina Fey
Funny Ask Sayings By Rachel Cohn: What's a slut?" I ask him."A girl who puts out too easily.""Puts out what?" I What's a slut?" I ask him.
"A girl who puts out too easily."
"Puts out what?" I imagine Greer putting out dinner and don't understand what Iwan wouldn't like about that.
"Puts out, you know ... " His face, already beet red from our run, turns a darker scarlet. "Sex."
I wonder where Greer puts the sex out. — Rachel Cohn
Funny Ask Sayings By Sara Sheridan: I remember calling the council's cemetery department to ask about body decomposition in different soil I remember calling the council's cemetery department to ask about body decomposition in different soil types. Once they had verified that I was a novelist and not a sicko, they were extremely helpful. — Sara Sheridan
Funny Ask Sayings By Steve McConnell: Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, "How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't needed?" Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer. — Steve McConnell
Funny Ask Sayings By Penny Reid: Sandra.""Thomas, I ... .""You called." He sounded concerned."Yes, I ... .""Why are you calling? Are Sandra."
"Thomas, I ... ."
"You called." He sounded concerned.
"Yes, I ... ."
"Why are you calling? Are you harmed?"
"No ... ."
"Are you rescheduling our Saturday lunch?"
"No ... ."
"Is this an emergency?"
"Stop asking questions and just listen."
"Why are you calling?"
I sighed, rolled my eyes. This was why I never called Thomas. "I need your help."
"Do you need money?"
"Thomas, I swear, if you ask me another question, I will secretly switch your caffeinated with decaf during Saturday lunch at least three times over the next six months."
I could tell he was thinking about my threat, weighing it against the compulsion of his curiosity. Belatedly he said, "Proceed — Penny Reid
Funny Ask Sayings By Stephen Wright: A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat. — Stephen Wright
Funny Ask Sayings By Aaron Johnson: It's funny because if you ever ask anyone in England to try and do a It's funny because if you ever ask anyone in England to try and do a Beatles accent, no one knows what they really sound like. If you ask anyone in America, they would try and give it a go. English people just know their songs. — Aaron Johnson
Funny Ask Sayings By Woody Allen: People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me
it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one. — Woody Allen
Funny Ask Sayings By Ellen DeGeneres: People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. — Ellen DeGeneres
Funny Ask Sayings By Joel N. Ross: If Chess is the switch," Loretta said, "how does he turn the Fog off?" Bea If Chess is the switch," Loretta said, "how does he turn the Fog off?"

Bea bit her lower lip. "I don't know - ask Chess."
"How would I know?" I said. "You try being a switch. — Joel N. Ross
Funny Ask Sayings By Tim Heaton: Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask. Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask. — Tim Heaton
Funny Ask Sayings By Tammy Blackwell: No punching?" he asked."No.""No kicking?""No.""How about arm wrestling?""No. And before you ask, we've avoided Slug No punching?" he asked.
"No."
"No kicking?"
"No."
"How about arm wrestling?"
"No. And before you ask, we've avoided Slug Bug, Slap Bets, and any and all Dance-Offs."
Fate Succumbs — Tammy Blackwell
Funny Ask Sayings By Elle Kennedy: I grin at her enthusiasm. "Did you like the little gun-finger I flashed you after I grin at her enthusiasm. "Did you like the little gun-finger I flashed you after that goal? All for you, baby."
She grins back. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but you were actually pointing at the old guy a few seats over. He totally freaked out and started shouting to everyone that you scored that goal for him, and then I heard him ask his wife if maybe you knew that he was just diagnosed with diabetes, so I didn't have the heart to tell him who the goal was really for."
I break down in laughter. "Why is nothing ever simple with us?"
"Hey," she protests. "We're more interesting this way."
I can't argue with that. — Elle Kennedy
Funny Ask Sayings By Colleen Hoover: I tilt my head and ask "What firsts have wealready passed?""The easy ones," he says. I tilt my head and ask "What firsts have we
already passed?"
"The easy ones," he says. "First hug, first date, first fight, first time we slept together,
although I wasn't the one sleeping. Now we barely have any left. First kiss. First time to
sleep together when we're both actually awake. First marriage. First kid. We're done
after that. Our lives will become mundane and boring and I'll have to divorce you and
marry a wife who's twenty years younger than me so I can have a lot more firsts and
you'll be stuck raising the kids." He bring his hand to my cheek and smile at me. "So you
see, babe? I'm only doing this for your benefit. The longer I wait to kiss you, the longer
it'll be before I'm forced to leave you high and dry. — Colleen Hoover
Funny Ask Sayings By Molly Harper: Zeb grinned. "You were the only person I know who's done it on an occupied Zeb grinned. "You were the only person I know who's done it on an occupied police car."
I glared at him. "If you want to start trading stories, we can start trading stories. As a former member of the Richard Marx Fan Club, you don't want to start this arms race."
Zeb smiled meekly around a rib. Agreed."
"Richard Marx?" Jolene asked.
"He went through an obnoxiously cheerful pop phase. Don't ask. — Molly Harper
Funny Ask Sayings By Elvis Costello: As I walk through This wicked world Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity, As I walk through This wicked world Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity, I ask myself Is all hope lost? Is there only pain and hatred, and misery? And each time I feel like this inside, There's one thing I wanna know: What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, & Understanding? — Elvis Costello
Funny Ask Sayings By Susan Ee: You've acquired a pet, archangel. When did this happen?" There's puzzlement in his voice, as You've acquired a pet, archangel. When did this happen?" There's puzzlement in his voice, as if it's normal for Beliel to know of Raffe's companions.
"I'm not anyone's pet."
"I met her tonight at the aerie," says Raffe. "She's been following me around. She means nothing."
Beliel snorts. "Funny, I didn't ask if she meant anything to you." He looks me up and down, taking in every detail. "Scrawny. But serviceable." He saunters toward me. — Susan Ee
Funny Ask Sayings By Jim Benton: There are four categories of questions Emmily asks:1. Can I please go to the bathroom?2. There are four categories of questions Emmily asks:
1. Can I please go to the bathroom?
2. Where is the bathroom?
3. Is it okay if I raise my hand and ask a question?
4. I don't understand anything you've said in the last thirty minutes. Could you explain it again? Also the last six weeks. — Jim Benton
Funny Ask Sayings By Julie Kagawa: W-what do you want?" I asked, thankful that my voice only trembled a little bit.That W-what do you want?" I asked, thankful that my voice only trembled a little bit.
That Cat Didn't blink. "Human," he said, and if a cat could sound patronizing, this one nailed it, "think about the absurdity of the question. I am resting in my tree, minding my own business and wondering if I should hunt today, when you come flying in like a bean sidhe and scare off every bird for miles around. Then, you have the audacity to ask what I want." He sniffed and gave me a very catlike stare of disdain. "I am aware that mortals are rude and barbaric, but still. — Julie Kagawa
Funny Ask Sayings By Noah Baumbach: It's funny, I'm very analytical in my real life, but in terms of my films, It's funny, I'm very analytical in my real life, but in terms of my films, I try to not analyze them at all and let things just go into them and let them be what they are. I mean, people ask me to this day what 'The Squid and the Whale' stood for, and I have no idea except that it's an exhibit in the Natural History Museum. — Noah Baumbach
Funny Ask Sayings By Mitch Hedberg: I went to England to tell jokes, and I wanted to tell my Smokey the I went to England to tell jokes, and I wanted to tell my Smokey the Bear joke, but I had to ask the English people if they knew who Smokey the Bear is. But they don't. In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest-fire-prevention representative. They have Smackie the Frog. It's a lot like a bear, but it's a frog. And that's a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me and I thought, "Man, I better play dead!" — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Ask Sayings By Dan Thompson: During job interviews, when they ask: 'What is your worst quality?', I always say: 'Flatulence'. During job interviews, when they ask: 'What is your worst quality?', I always say: 'Flatulence'. That way I get my own office. — Dan Thompson
Funny Ask Sayings By The Harvard Lampoon: You should have seen the costumes for the last few prom themes: Pimps and their You should have seen the costumes for the last few prom themes: Pimps and their srteet ho's; CEOs and their office ho's; GI Joes and their combat ho's; Gardeners and their garden hose;Firemen and their fire hose ... If you ask me, a 'masquerade' theme isn't flattering for anyones features, nor does it define the apppropriate gender roles very clearly. — The Harvard Lampoon
Funny Ask Sayings By Karen Marie Moning: You could ask me to teach you.""Huh?" This night is getting weird in a hurry. You could ask me to teach you."
"Huh?" This night is getting weird in a hurry. "Teach me like you're teaching a class or something? What are you going to call it: 'You Too Can Be a Sociopath 101'?"
"It would be more like a graduate-level class."
I start to snicker. His sense of humour sneaks up on you. Then I remember who's talking and bite it off. — Karen Marie Moning
Funny Ask Sayings By Donald Miller: It's funny how you can't ask difficult questions in a familiar place, how you have It's funny how you can't ask difficult questions in a familiar place, how you have to stand back a few feet and see things in a new way before you realize nothing that is happening to you is normal. The trouble with you and me is we are used to what is happening to us. We grew into our lives like a kernel beneath the earth, never able to process the enigma of our composition ... Nothing is normal. It is all rather odd, isn't it, our eyes in our heads, our hands with five fingers, the capacity to understand beauty, to feel love, to feel pain. — Donald Miller
Funny Ask Sayings By Harper Lee: We saw Uncle Jack every Christmas, and every Christmas he yelled across the street for We saw Uncle Jack every Christmas, and every Christmas he yelled across the street for Miss Maudie to come marry him. Miss Mauide would yell back, "Call a little louder, Jack Finch, and they'll hear you the post office, I haven't heard you yet!" Jem and I thought this a strange way to ask for a lady's hand in marriage, but then again Uncle Jack was rather strange. — Harper Lee
Funny Ask Sayings By Victor Frederick Weisskopf: It was absolutely marvelous working for Pauli. You could ask him anything. There was no It was absolutely marvelous working for Pauli. You could ask him anything. There was no worry that he would think a particular question was stupid, since he thought all questions were stupid. — Victor Frederick Weisskopf
Funny Ask Sayings By Carl Friedrich Gauss: Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done. Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done. — Carl Friedrich Gauss
Funny Ask Sayings By June Squibb: My son was staying with me, and we got up to watch it, just before My son was staying with me, and we got up to watch it, just before they announced supporting actress, he came up and put his arm around me. I think it was like, 'Either way, mom, I still love you.' But then it was funny because I saw it. I saw my picture, and I heard them announce it, but I had to ask him, 'Did I really see that?' I wasn't sure I was seeing it, but he assured me that yes, I was nominated for the Academy Award. We just sort of cried a little bit. — June Squibb
Funny Ask Sayings By Artie Shaw: People ask what those women saw in me. Let's face it, I wasn't a bad-looking People ask what those women saw in me. Let's face it, I wasn't a bad-looking stud. But that's not it. It's the music; it's standing up there under the lights. A lot of women just flip; looks have nothing to do with it. You call Mick Jagger good-looking? — Artie Shaw
Funny Ask Sayings By Amy A. Bartol: Zee replies grimly, 'I understand that problem ... Buns is a force of nature.' 'She Zee replies grimly, 'I understand that problem ... Buns is a force of nature.'
'She is,' I say with a reluctant smile, 'you're kind of screwed, dude. She's definitely got her own ideas.'
Zee grins too. 'Do not laugh too hard, playa, yours is a Throne..karma ... ' he says, noddin' his head before grimacin' and addin', 'ouch'.
My smile broadens involuntarily. 'Zee, when did you become funny?' I ask.
'It is difficult to be funny in Human,' he says, before lookin' at his watch and than graspin' the cover of the portal computer. 'Learn my language and you will think I am hysterical. — Amy A. Bartol
Funny Ask Sayings By L.J. Shen: Prescott has her new ID. I'm glad she does, because it's a great way to Prescott has her new ID. I'm glad she does, because it's a great way to cover her ass. And what an ass that is. Speaking of, she's been walking funny all day today, so I'm glad we spent most of it in the Beatmobile, heading north back to Stockton. I know she's sore from yesterday, and I should feel guilty, but honestly? Couldn't be more thrilled. She let me into her ass. That's like code for Ask me on a date or something. I — L.J. Shen
Funny Ask Sayings By Will Ferrell: As you set off into the world, don't be afraid to question your leaders. But As you set off into the world, don't be afraid to question your leaders. But don't ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky. — Will Ferrell
Funny Ask Sayings By Ned Vizzini: It's funny how people ask that as soon as they get you on the phone. It's funny how people ask that as soon as they get you on the phone. I think it's a byproduct of cell phones: people - girls and moms especially - want to nail you down in physical space. The fact is that you could be anywhere on a cell phone and it shouldn't be important where you are. But it becomes the first thing people ask. — Ned Vizzini
Funny Ask Sayings By Veronica Roth: I'm confused, Beatrice," she says. "What exactly do you want us to do?""I didn't come I'm confused, Beatrice," she says. "What exactly do you want us to do?"
"I didn't come here to ask you for help," I say. "I thought you should know that a lot of people are going to die, very soon. And I know you don't want to stay here doing nothing while that happens, even if some of your faction does."
She looks down, her crooked mouth betraying just how right I am.
"I also wanted to ask you if we can talk to the Erudite you're keeping safe here," I say. "I know they're hidden, but I need access to them."
"And what do you intend to do?" she says.
"Shoot them," I say, rolling my eyes.
"That isn't funny."
I sigh. "Sorry. I need information. That's all. — Veronica Roth
Funny Ask Sayings By Nora Dunn: It's funny when people ask if I'm a lesbian. I played a real estate agent It's funny when people ask if I'm a lesbian. I played a real estate agent in 'Father of the Bride, Part II,' but no one has asked me if I sell real estate. — Nora Dunn
Funny Ask Sayings By Kai Greene: I do like to believe there is no stupid and or funny question because in I do like to believe there is no stupid and or funny question because in fact if we don't ask than we don't learn. — Kai Greene
Funny Ask Sayings By Adam Ferrara: Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.' — Adam Ferrara
Funny Ask Sayings By Ella Dominguez: What is it about Paris that I just can't keep my hands off of you?" What is it about Paris that I just can't keep my hands off of you?" I ask him in between kisses.
"It has nothing to do with Paris and everything to do with my raw sexuality, baby. I'm fucking irresistible," he growls just before he shoves his tongue down my throat.
I can't argue with that. — Ella Dominguez
Funny Ask Sayings By Rachel Caine: You couldn't be romantic if your life depended on it." "You know what's lucky? Most You couldn't be romantic if your life depended on it." "You know what's lucky? Most bad guys don't ask you to be romantic on command, so that probably won't matter. — Rachel Caine
Funny Ask Sayings By Elizabeth Gilbert: Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have ... undressed in Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have ... undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No? It's because he doesn't care! He's in a room with a naked girl, he just won the lottery. I am so tired of saying no, waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consumed so I know just how much self loathing to take into the shower. I'm going for it. I have no interest in being obese, I'm just through with the guilt. So this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to finish this pizza, and then we are going to go watch the soccer game, and tomorrow we are going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans. — Elizabeth Gilbert
Funny Ask Sayings By Veronica Roth: I also wanted to ask you if we can talk to the Erudite you're keeping I also wanted to ask you if we can talk to the Erudite you're keeping safe here," I say. "I know they're hidden, but I need access to them."
"And what do you intend to do?" she says.
"Shoot them," I say, rolling my eyes.
"That isn't funny. — Veronica Roth
Funny Ask Sayings By Lewis Carroll: Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think
' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) '
but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country is, you — Lewis Carroll
Funny Ask Sayings By Michael Caine: It's funny, people ask me, 'What would you consider the most romantic track on your It's funny, people ask me, 'What would you consider the most romantic track on your record Mr Caine?' And I say 'Swollen' by Bent, and they say 'I think he's off his rocker!' — Michael Caine
Funny Ask Sayings By John Montgomery Ward: Whoever has not experienced the pleasure of taking a young lady to her first game Whoever has not experienced the pleasure of taking a young lady to her first game of ball should seize the first opportunity to do so. Her remarks about plays, her opinions of different players and the umpire, and the questions she will ask concerning the game, are all too funny to be missed. — John Montgomery Ward
Funny Ask Sayings By John Green: Teenagers are extremely funny, and extremely clever and intellectually curious. But they're also willing to Teenagers are extremely funny, and extremely clever and intellectually curious. But they're also willing to ask questions about the meaning of life without disguising them around irony, and ask questions about what are our responsibilities to other people without having to couch it in irony. — John Green
Funny Ask Sayings By C. Gockel: What? Do you expect me to ask every woman I meet, 'Excuse me are you What? Do you expect me to ask every woman I meet, 'Excuse me are you a goddess, because you look like one to me?' Because frankly, that is cheesy. Even for me. — C. Gockel
Funny Ask Sayings By Charles Baudelaire: Where are the dogs going? you people who pay so little attention ask. They are Where are the dogs going? you people who pay so little attention ask. They are going about their business. And they are very punctilious, without wallets, notes, and without briefcases. — Charles Baudelaire
Funny Ask Sayings By Yongey Mingyur: The funny thing about the mind is that if you ask a question and then The funny thing about the mind is that if you ask a question and then listen quietly, the answer usually appears. — Yongey Mingyur
Funny Ask Sayings By Ben Sollee: It's funny, people often ask me, "Why do you do bike tours where it takes It's funny, people often ask me, "Why do you do bike tours where it takes three times the effort and you make one-third of the money?" My answer is that I'm trying to do it ethically. What does that mean, exactly? That conflict is a big part of my art. — Ben Sollee
Funny Ask Sayings By Roger Zelazny: A totally nondenominational prayer: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or A totally nondenominational prayer: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that I be forgiven for anything I may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which I may be eligible after the destruction of my body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen. — Roger Zelazny
Funny Ask Sayings By Nicola Yoon: Do you think it's funny that both of our favourite memories are about the people Do you think it's funny that both of our favourite memories are about the people we like the least now?" I ask.

"Maybe that's why we dislike them," she says. "The distance between who they were and who they are is so wide, we have no hope of getting them back. — Nicola Yoon
Funny Ask Sayings By Liz Czukas: It's just ... how do I put this? Maybe it's just hard for me to It's just ... how do I put this? Maybe it's just hard for me to imagine turning down something that's so much harder for someone like me to find. — Liz Czukas
Funny Ask Sayings By Steven Wright: Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? — Steven Wright
Funny Ask Sayings By R.R. Virdi: There was a part of my brain that wanted to ask if his wife had There was a part of my brain that wanted to ask if his wife had a beard, verify my theory. I told that part of my brain to shut up. — R.R. Virdi
Funny Ask Sayings By Chelsea Handler: Our relationship finally ended when he took to waking me up in the wee hours Our relationship finally ended when he took to waking me up in the wee hours o the morning when he would go surfing. He thought it might be fun to have me come watch. "Fun for who?" I wanted to ask. i had never asked him to come to Happy Hour and watch me drink. — Chelsea Handler
Funny Ask Sayings By Rebecca Harris: Go to the cops then!" I shout. "But mind if I ask what you plan Go to the cops then!" I shout. "But mind if I ask what you plan on telling them? Because saying two dead teenagers came to you in the middle of the night and told you something or someone is going to kill you is only going to get you locked in a cozy, padded cell."
"Well, it has to be better than spending another second with you."
"Make sure they put that on your headstone, will you? Right below 'Here lies Benedict Bartholomew Ford. He had no friends and a really stupid name'. — Rebecca Harris
Funny Ask Sayings By Bo Burnham: People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist ... how do we fix Africa?' — Bo Burnham
Funny Ask Sayings By Robert Breault: As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who has so much explaining to do" — Robert Breault
Funny Ask Sayings By Rodney Dangerfield: I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, "Why are you jogging in your underwear?" He says, "You came home from work early". — Rodney Dangerfield
Funny Ask Sayings By Francois Lelord: You must be careful when you ask people whether they're happy; it's a question that You must be careful when you ask people whether they're happy; it's a question that can upset them a great deal. — Francois Lelord
Funny Ask Sayings By Stephanie McAfee: Wishing he'd...get the hell out the door before I do something crazy like ask him Wishing he'd...get the hell out the door before I do something crazy like ask him to whip out his goober. — Stephanie McAfee
Funny Ask Sayings By Victoria Schwab: Well," I ask, leaning over him, "do you wish to stay?""I do.""And why is that, Well," I ask, leaning over him, "do you wish to stay?"
"I do."
"And why is that, Cole?" I say, tipping toward him so that our noses nearly brush.
"Well," he says with a smile, "the weather's quite nice. — Victoria Schwab
Funny Ask Sayings By Phil Lapsley: Engineers are funny animals. If you tell an engineer about a problem, any problem, his Engineers are funny animals. If you tell an engineer about a problem, any problem, his first instinct is to measure it. Tell an engineer you don't love him anymore and he'll ask for a graph of your love over time so that he can understand exactly how big the problem is and when it started. — Phil Lapsley
Funny Ask Sayings By M.F. Moonzajer: Isn't it funny? You forgive people before they ask forgiveness. Later they expect your apologize. Isn't it funny? You forgive people before they ask forgiveness. Later they expect your apologize. — M.F. Moonzajer