Funny Black Famous Quotes & Sayings

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100 Funny Black Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

Funny Black Sayings By Dane DeHaan: It's funny because I went to a predominantly white school, but for some reason they It's funny because I went to a predominantly white school, but for some reason they always picked the musicals that were supposed to be done by totally black casts. — Dane DeHaan
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Funny Black Sayings By Lenny Kravitz: I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It's like, What is he doing? — Lenny Kravitz
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Funny Black Sayings By Eva Morgan: The door opens and my new neighbor is a vampire. He's nearly a foot taller The door opens and my new neighbor is a vampire. He's nearly a foot taller than me. Unruly ink-black hair, and a face made of knife angles. If I were obnoxious, I might use the term shockingly attractive . Or terrifyingly handsome . Holy mother of balls would also be an option. — Eva Morgan
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Funny Black Sayings By Chris Rock: You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more? — Chris Rock
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Funny Black Sayings By Will Smith: Listen, Michael Jackson is really funny. To have time to spend with him and actually Listen, Michael Jackson is really funny. To have time to spend with him and actually be around him, he's not what ... people think he is. Michael Jackson's like a black belt too, so he will kick your ass if you say something about him." In disbelief the interviewer replied "No, really?" to which Will said, "Yes, Michael Jackson kicked over my head! — Will Smith
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Funny Black Sayings By Nathan Rabin: Phunny Business is a breezy, vivid, funny, star-studded and delightful valentine to comedy, entrepreneurship and Phunny Business is a breezy, vivid, funny, star-studded and delightful valentine to comedy, entrepreneurship and the All-American impulse to make something out of nothing. The story of comedy club owner/inveterate dreamer Raymond Lambert and his heroic quest to create a safe, productive place for black stand-up comedians to hone their craft and find their voices isn't just a great Chicago story and a great comedy story: it's a flat-out great story, lovingly and engagingly told. — Nathan Rabin
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Funny Black Sayings By John Flanagan: Horace, who had been trying to find out the meaning of Kurokuma for some time Horace, who had been trying to find out the meaning of Kurokuma for some time now, was pleased to hear the translation.
"Black bear," he repeated. "It's undoubtedly because I'm so terrible in battle."
"I'd guess so," Will put in. "I've seen you in battle and you're definitely terrible. — John Flanagan
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Funny Black Sayings By Lewis Black: All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. — Lewis Black
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Funny Black Sayings By Rita Rudner: All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals. All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals. — Rita Rudner
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Funny Black Sayings By Lewis Black: It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.' — Lewis Black
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Funny Black Sayings By Terry Pratchett: Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes, his carefully cut widow's peak and, not least, his ridiculous accent that grew thicker or thinner depending on who he was talking to, did not look like a threat. He looked funny, a joke, a music-hall vampire. It had never previously occurred to Vimes that, just possibly, the joke was on other people. — Terry Pratchett
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Funny Black Sayings By Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: If you're telling a non-black person about something racist that happened to you, make sure If you're telling a non-black person about something racist that happened to you, make sure you are not bitter. Don't complain. Be forgiving. If possible, make it funny. Most of all, do not be angry. Black people are not supposed to be angry about racism. Otherwise you get no sympathy. This applies only for white liberals, by the way. Don't even bother telling a white conservative about anything racist that happened to you. Because the conservative will tell you that YOU are the real racist and your mouth will hang open in confusion. — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
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Funny Black Sayings By Diane Farr: Sometimes I even feel funny to say I'm in a biracial marriage because people are Sometimes I even feel funny to say I'm in a biracial marriage because people are like, 'Oh, he's Asian?' The subtext is, 'Who cares? You didn't marry a black person.' — Diane Farr
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Funny Black Sayings By L. Frank Baum: Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose. — L. Frank Baum
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Funny Black Sayings By Zach Galifianakis: I'd like to do a reality show with four white people ... who are dropped I'd like to do a reality show with four white people ... who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called ... Cracker Hunt. — Zach Galifianakis
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Funny Black Sayings By Lauren Willig: Right now, I couldn't have cared less if someone had waltzed across the room in Right now, I couldn't have cared less if someone had waltzed across the room in a large flower costume with a sign saying GET YOUR BLACK TULIPS HERE. Every nerve in my body was on man-alert, screaming, incoming! — Lauren Willig
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Funny Black Sayings By J.K. Rowling: You've been popping into the fire every hour?' Harry said, half laughing.'Just for a few You've been popping into the fire every hour?' Harry said, half laughing.
'Just for a few seconds to check if the coast was clear. — J.K. Rowling
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Funny Black Sayings By George Carlin: If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? — George Carlin
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Funny Black Sayings By Lewis Black: Just relax and breathe through your ass. Just relax and breathe through your ass. — Lewis Black
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Funny Black Sayings By Fred Hampton: Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes. This is a Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes. This is a constitutional right everybody has, and nothing's funny about that. The only reason they get mad at the Black Panther Party when you do it is for the simple reason that we're political. — Fred Hampton
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Funny Black Sayings By Sarah: I always think I should get on it if I want to have kids. Because I always think I should get on it if I want to have kids. Because once you hit thirty it can be difficult to conceive - it can be dangerous. The best time to conceive is when you're a black
teenager. — Sarah
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Funny Black Sayings By Jack Black: I remember I prayed to God. I was like, "Just let me be on TV." I remember I prayed to God. I was like, "Just let me be on TV." Let my friends see me on TV in a good thing. I like, if I'm funny a little bit on a commercial and then I don't need to act ever again. "Just let them see me." And then it worked. I got the commercial. I was on TV. My friends all saw me. I was a kind of a star at school for like three days. And then it faded away and I was hungry and I had to like make another deal with God. I remember it still. — Jack Black
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Funny Black Sayings By Malgorzata Szumowska: I found my personal style in black humor and mixing funny things with very touching I found my personal style in black humor and mixing funny things with very touching ones - like trying to force people to cry and smile almost at the same moment. — Malgorzata Szumowska
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Funny Black Sayings By Ze Frank: I've been fascinated by the Internet from the very start. In 2001, I had made I've been fascinated by the Internet from the very start. In 2001, I had made a funny black-and-white film called 'How to Dance Properly,' a short video of me dancing to a Madonna song. I sent it to 17 of my friends on a Thursday, and by Monday, one million people a day were logging on to view it. — Ze Frank
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Funny Black Sayings By S.F. Mazhar: I agree," Skyler replied. "There's nothing funny about it." He pointed to the cottage. "The I agree," Skyler replied. "There's nothing funny about it." He pointed to
the cottage. "The house is unoccupied; we have permanent residents
looking for a place to stay." He held up both hands. "What's the problem?"

"The problem?" Ella asked, with a raised eyebrow. "I think the problem
is six-foot tall, has black hair, green eyes and the ability to kick your ass
across Salvador. — S.F. Mazhar
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Funny Black Sayings By Alice Walker: If this were a courageous country,it would ask Gloria to lead itsince she is sane If this were a courageous country,
it would ask Gloria to lead it
since she is sane and funny and beautiful and smart
and the National Leaders we've always had
are not.
When I listen to her talk about women's rights
children's rights
men's rights
I think of the long line of Americans
who should have been president, but weren't.
Imagine Crazy Horse as president. Sojourner Truth.
John Brown. Harriet Tubman. Black Elk or Geronimo.
Imagine President Martin Luther King confronting
the youthful "Oppie" Oppenheimer. Imagine President
Malcolm X going after the Klan. Imagine President Stevie
Wonder dealing with the "Truly Needy."
Imagine President Shirley Chisholm, Ron Dellums, or
Sweet Honey in the Rock
dealing with Anything.
It is imagining to make us weep with frustration,
as we languish under real estate dealers, killers,
and bad actors. — Alice Walker
Funny Black Sayings By Holly Black: Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks. Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks. — Holly Black
Funny Black Sayings By Fyodor Dostoyevsky: Hang your merit. I don't seek anyone's approbation. Hang your merit. I don't seek anyone's approbation. — Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Funny Black Sayings By Josh Stern: Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it — Josh Stern
Funny Black Sayings By Amy Garvey: The fact that I'm sitting here in the chilly leaves imagining ways to get rid The fact that I'm sitting here in the chilly leaves imagining ways to get rid of the boy I loved so much I brought him back from the dead is so ridiculous, so horrifying, it's almost funny. In an unbelievable, black humor way that's not really funny at all. — Amy Garvey
Funny Black Sayings By Bill Engvall: I go "I just want a cup of black coffee." She goes "Do you want I go "I just want a cup of black coffee." She goes "Do you want to try a biscotti? They're from Italy and they're considered a delicacy." Have you ever eaten one of these things? It tastes like a burned cookie. Where I'm from, that's considered a mistake. — Bill Engvall
Funny Black Sayings By Screamin' Jay Hawkins: I came into this world black, naked and ugly. And no matter how much I I came into this world black, naked and ugly. And no matter how much I accumulate here, it's a short journey. I will go out of this world black, naked and ugly. So I enjoy life. — Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Funny Black Sayings By Lilith Saintcrow: There was a zombie at my back door. Its eyes swung up, and they were There was a zombie at my back door. Its eyes swung up, and they were blue, the whites already clouding with the egg rot of death. Its jaw a mess of meat and frozen blood; something had eaten half its face. Its fingertips already worn down to bony nubs, scraped against the window. Flesh hung in strips from it's hand, and my stomach turned over hard. Black mist rose at the corners of my vision, and the funny rushing sound in my head sounded like a jet plane taking off. I'd know that zombie anywhere. Even if he was dead and mangled, his eyes were the same. Blue as winter ice, fringed with pale lashes. — Lilith Saintcrow
Funny Black Sayings By John Requa: I'm a huge fan of 'Kung Fu Panda.' I honestly think that Jack Black's voice I'm a huge fan of 'Kung Fu Panda.' I honestly think that Jack Black's voice work in 'Kung Fu Panda' is the best voice work that's ever been done. He's so funny, and it's such an endearing character. It really is great. — John Requa
Funny Black Sayings By David C. Holley: The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience. The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience. — David C. Holley
Funny Black Sayings By Tove Jansson: It's a funny thing about bogs. You can fill them with rocks and sand and It's a funny thing about bogs. You can fill them with rocks and sand and old logs and make a little fenced-in yard on top with a woodpile and chopping block - but bogs go right on behaving like bogs. Early in the spring they breathe ice and make their own mist, in remembrance of the time when they had black water and their own sedge blossoming untouched. — Tove Jansson
Funny Black Sayings By Taylor Swift: When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair. — Taylor Swift
Funny Black Sayings By Jamaica Kincaid: It's very funny, American society: White culture can do all sorts of things and get It's very funny, American society: White culture can do all sorts of things and get away with it, but the minute a black person does it, it's interpreted in some way. — Jamaica Kincaid
Funny Black Sayings By Barry Lyga: She knew all about the cops and their trigger fingers and their predilection for dealing She knew all about the cops and their trigger fingers and their predilection for dealing with those who would attack their brethren. Her father had drummed such stories into her from a young age; more so into Whiz, who bore the burden of being a black boy about to grow into a black teen. "If the police even look at you funny," Dad had said, "you hit the ground and put your hands over your head. Don't talk back. Don't try to run. Don't try to explain. They're just looking for an excuse to shoot you. Don't give it to them. — Barry Lyga
Funny Black Sayings By Mitch Hedberg: When you go to a bar that has a black light, everybody looks cool. Except When you go to a bar that has a black light, everybody looks cool. Except for me, because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out. — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Black Sayings By Anne Bishop: And the Lady's mate. Despite having only two legs and small fangs, there was much And the Lady's mate. Despite having only two legs and small fangs, there was much that was feline in that one, and he approved. — Anne Bishop
Funny Black Sayings By Kathy Reichs: Move along," Hines said. "Last room down."I spotted a fish tank halfway down the aisle. Move along," Hines said. "Last room down."
I spotted a fish tank halfway down the aisle. Dug into my pocket.
"Hi," I whispered. "Distraction in five. Four. Three ... "
I broke off as we neared the tank.
Hi spun. "Yo, warden. When do we eat around here? I'm hypoglycemic, plus I've got a hernia. And rabies simplex D. Basically, I need a ton of pills or my arms will fall off."
"Boy, you're on my last nerve."
As Hines glared at Hiram, I palmed the flash drive and dumped it into the fish tank. The yellow-and-black rectangle tumbled to the bottom.
So long, friend. Let's hope Shelton's email went through.
"It's a cultural thing," Hi was saying. "I think you're being very insensitive."
Hines snorted. "Do you want me to cuff you?"
"Kinda."
"Hi." I nodded. — Kathy Reichs
Funny Black Sayings By J.R. Ward: In the process of terrorizing an article on spring training, Butch glanced over at Marissa In the process of terrorizing an article on spring training, Butch glanced over at Marissa again, and V
knew the two were going to take off soon - but not because they were finished with their coffee.
Funny, he knew what was going to happen from extrapolation, not second sight or because he could read their minds: Butch was letting off the bonding scent, and Marissa loved being with her male — J.R. Ward
Funny Black Sayings By Melina Marchetta: Memory is a funny thing. It tricks you into believing that you've forgotten important moments, Memory is a funny thing. It tricks you into believing that you've forgotten important moments, and then when you're raking your brain for a bit of information that might make sense of something else, it taps you on the head and says, Remember when you told me to put that memory in the green rubbish bin? Well, I didn't, I put it in the black recycling tub, and it's coming your way again. — Melina Marchetta
Funny Black Sayings By Huntley Fitzpatrick: This is Sailor Supergirl," George says. "She knows all about black holes. This is Sailor Supergirl," George says. "She knows all about black holes. — Huntley Fitzpatrick
Funny Black Sayings By Dylan Perry: The silent horror of Archie's ordeal had been temporarily replaced by the howling, agonising pain The silent horror of Archie's ordeal had been temporarily replaced by the howling, agonising pain of the blood refusing to drain from his penis, the end of which was a deep purple verging on black where Officer Griff had tested how hard it was by using the back of his hand to give it a solid twang. — Dylan Perry
Funny Black Sayings By E.A. Bucchianeri: A man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on A man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything. — E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny Black Sayings By Stevie Wonder: Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. — Stevie Wonder
Funny Black Sayings By Kelly Creagh: A tall, thin boy with choppy black hair stood next to her. He eyed Isobel A tall, thin boy with choppy black hair stood next to her. He eyed Isobel as she approached, sizing her up, grinning like he found something funny. She glared at him in return, ready for him to say just one thing about her cheer uniform, because she knew he must have pulled the black jeans he wore straight from the girls' rack at Target. — Kelly Creagh
Funny Black Sayings By Ava DuVernay: Black people loving and losing is something we don't see enough of. We're always in Black people loving and losing is something we don't see enough of. We're always in these heightened situations like something big is happening, something funny or something violent. And you know what? Sometimes we die of breast cancer or a broken heart. Things happen that are just not being explored cinematically. It's time we reinvigorated that type of film. — Ava DuVernay
Funny Black Sayings By Ilona Andrews: He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her. — Ilona Andrews
Funny Black Sayings By Angie Thomas: Funny. Slave masters thought they were making a difference in black people's lives too. Saving Funny. Slave masters thought they were making a difference in black people's lives too. Saving them from their "wild African ways." Same shit, different century. I wish people like them would stop thinking that people like me need saving. One-Fifteen — Angie Thomas
Funny Black Sayings By Tennessee Williams: I can find almost anything funny, thank God, so you search for the black, lacy I can find almost anything funny, thank God, so you search for the black, lacy slip that encases the corpse. You know, shift the angle. God may take away, but he often leaves you with a terrific opening line for the next adventure. I would suggest taking it. Move on; change the angle; look at it in a different way tomorrow. — Tennessee Williams
Funny Black Sayings By Karen Russell: We stare at each other pop-eyed over the burlap sack and laugh as if we're We stare at each other pop-eyed over the burlap sack and laugh as if we're afraid to stop. Somebody needs to say the magical, abracadabrical words that will turn tonight's crime into a joke. Marta has buttoned her wet sweater up to her neck. Petey's vanished. Now Raffy swirls the flashlights with true panic. Our joke keeps hatching and waddling forward in a snaky black procession, growing longer and less funny by the second, and this time nobody, not even Raffy, knows the punch line. — Karen Russell
Funny Black Sayings By Oscar Wilde: Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it. — Oscar Wilde
Funny Black Sayings By Bill Cosby: I didn't like what was on TV in terms of sitcoms-it had nothing to do I didn't like what was on TV in terms of sitcoms-it had nothing to do with the color of them-I just didn't like any of them. I saw little kids, let's say 6 or 7 years old, white kids, black kids. And the way they were addressing the father or the mother, the writers had turned things around, so the little children were smarter than the parent or the caregiver. They were just not funny to me. I felt that it was manipulative and the audience was looking at something that had no responsibility to the family. — Bill Cosby
Funny Black Sayings By Jay Grewal: I couldn't figure out if it was fate or faith that had brought me there. I couldn't figure out if it was fate or faith that had brought me there. How funny those two words sounded when paired together. One was the inevitable, something I could not change in my life, while the other was the hope and belief that I could. These two words were enemies of each other, and one of them was down right dangerous for a slave to have anywhere near his mind. — Jay Grewal
Funny Black Sayings By Lewis Black: Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny. — Lewis Black
Funny Black Sayings By Chris Rock: White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing. White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing. — Chris Rock
Funny Black Sayings By Mary Daly: I had explained that a woman's asking for equality in the church would be comparable I had explained that a woman's asking for equality in the church would be comparable to a black person's demanding equality in the Ku Klux Klan — Mary Daly
Funny Black Sayings By Holly Black: Oh- and grab the plastic bag over by my suitcase."I slug down the last of Oh- and grab the plastic bag over by my suitcase."
I slug down the last of the coffee and get up. The bag contains panty hose. I put them on her desk.
"They're for you."
"You want me to look homeless, desperate, but also kind of fabulous? — Holly Black
Funny Black Sayings By Lewis Black: Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap. — Lewis Black
Funny Black Sayings By A.C. Gaughen: Much were bent over in laughter. I pushed him, and he rolled to the floor Much were bent over in laughter. I pushed him, and he rolled to the floor without my intended insult. "Come off it!" I stamped my foot.
"What's so funny?" John asked, coming over in the middle of eating an apple. He tossed me an apple and I threw it at Much. He only laughed harder. "K-k-kissed Scar!" he hooted.
"Someone kissed you?" John asked, turning to me. He didn't look like it were too funny. "Who is he?"
This made Much laugh more.
"None of your business, John Little," I told him.
He stepped closer to me with a flat face that, if I could ape it, I'd never be kissed by a stupid girl when I didn't want to be. "Who, Scar?"
"Jenny Percy!" Much roared.
John's face broke open, like a smile could split a black
mood. "Wait till Rob hears this. — A.C. Gaughen
Funny Black Sayings By Sarah Silverman: Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they're the cultures of Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they're the cultures of the people who have been the most oppressed, black people and Jews. Not that they're the only funny people, but culturally, it comes from the pain, you know? — Sarah Silverman
Funny Black Sayings By Aaron McGruder: I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'. — Aaron McGruder
Funny Black Sayings By Mark Juergensmeyer: When I came back I joined a black church in Oakland and that made me When I came back I joined a black church in Oakland and that made me feel more at home, a bit like being connected to India. It felt funny to be around so many white people when I came back to the United States. It still bothers me. One of the things I liked living in Hawaii years later was the racial complexity of it. I remember that at the time when Sucheng and I got married--we met as graduate students at Berkeley and have been married almost forty years--one of the first houses we bought was in a Black neighborhood in west Berkeley and we didn't quite notice how uniformly Black it was until some weeks later. I said to Sucheng, "You know, we're the only white people in this neighborhood." And she looked at me and said: "Speak for yourself, honkie! — Mark Juergensmeyer
Funny Black Sayings By L. Frank Baum: It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved her from growing as gray as It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved her from growing as gray as her other surroundings. Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose. Toto played all day long, and Dorothy played with him, and loved him dearly. — L. Frank Baum
Funny Black Sayings By Anthony Jeselnik: My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down. — Anthony Jeselnik
Funny Black Sayings By Robyn Schneider: Oh come on,'Pheobe continued. 'You're asking for it. Pale skin, black clothes, no lunch and Oh come on,'Pheobe continued. 'You're asking for it. Pale skin, black clothes, no lunch and that whole brooding thing? It's hilarious. You should get body glitter and go after an unsuspecting freshman.'
'You should!' Cassidy agreed. 'Tell her you're a dangerous monster. And mention how good her blood smells.'
'Wrong time of the month on that one, and I'm getting slapped,' I muttered, and everyone laughed. — Robyn Schneider
Funny Black Sayings By Lewis Black: That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone. — Lewis Black
Funny Black Sayings By Jack Black: Buddha is pretty funny. Buddha is the coolest, though. If I had to go with Buddha is pretty funny. Buddha is the coolest, though. If I had to go with one, I'd probably party with the Buddha. — Jack Black
Funny Black Sayings By Michael Showalter: For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets. — Michael Showalter
Funny Black Sayings By Gideon Defoe: Everybody clapped enthusiastically and Dr. Marx popped up from behind the podium, where he had Everybody clapped enthusiastically and Dr. Marx popped up from behind the podium, where he had been hiding all along. He was the hairiest man the pirates had ever seen. Several of the crew were actually worried for a moment that the Seaweed That Walked Like a Man had returned from one of their previous adventures to ambush them. His nose was hairy. His forehead was hairy. Even his hands were hairy. And his beard was a great bushy black number, which looked like he had sellotaped a bunch of cats to the bottom of his face and then frightened them with a loud noise. — Gideon Defoe
Funny Black Sayings By Alison Espach: When it was real it wasn't funny. When you touched someone, they were always with When it was real it wasn't funny. When you touched someone, they were always with you. When his mouth was on mine, we held the same breath in the same moment, and when he was naked, his body was covered in tiny black hairs that stuck to my clothes even after I washed them. He had sowly become a part of me and when he was cruel, or cold, or acted like we couldn't go on like this anymore it felt like he was ripping my limbs off, one at a time. — Alison Espach
Funny Black Sayings By Ilona Andrews: When alone in a dark forest waiting for an audience with an evil god, the When alone in a dark forest waiting for an audience with an evil god, the most prudent course of action is to be quiet and wait. 'Prudent' wasn't one of my favourite words.
"Hello? I've come to borrow a cup of sugar. Anybody? Perhaps there is an old woman with a house made of candy who could help me?"
"Marrying for love isn't wise."
The voice came from somewhere to the left. Melodious, but not soft, definitely female and charged with a promise of hidden power. Something told me that hearing her scream would end very badly for me.
I stopped and pivoted toward the voice.
"Marry for safety. Marry for power. But only fools marry for love."
When a strange voice talks to you in the black woods, only idiots answer.
I was that idiot. "Thank you, counsellor. How much do I owe you for this session? — Ilona Andrews
Funny Black Sayings By Gail Tsukiyama: The things you remember about a person when they're gone are funny. No two people The things you remember about a person when they're gone are funny. No two people will feel the same way, though usually it has to do with scent, or expression, the sound of a voice, an unusual gesture. For me, I can still see the colors of Keiko; the black of her hair against creamy pale skin, her dark blue kimono with white circles, the deep orange persimmons falling from the brown basket she carried. The ache in my heart grows larger every time I think of these colors, and how as each day passes they continue to fade from my eyes. — Gail Tsukiyama
Funny Black Sayings By Nicole McKay: Blankets are good to carry around if you want to be able to quickly black Blankets are good to carry around if you want to be able to quickly black bag someone. — Nicole McKay
Funny Black Sayings By Cilla Black: I do not miss ITV, God no! Have you seen ITV lately? I do not miss ITV, God no! Have you seen ITV lately? — Cilla Black
Funny Black Sayings By Jack Black: I don't really think differently of making a movie for grownups or making a movie I don't really think differently of making a movie for grownups or making a movie for kids, if it's boring it's boring, so you want it to be entertaining and I think funny is funny whether it's for kids or grownups, the only real difference is language. — Jack Black
Funny Black Sayings By Soman Chainani: Naturally the villagers blamed bears. No one had ever seen a bear in Gavaldon, but Naturally the villagers blamed bears. No one had ever seen a bear in Gavaldon, but this made them more determined to find one. Four years later, when two more children vanished, the villagers admitted they should have been more specific and declared black bears the culprit, bears so black they blended with the night. But when children continued to disappear every four years, the village shifted their attention to burrowing bears, then phantom bears, then bears in disguise ... Until it became clear it wasn't it wasn't bears at all. — Soman Chainani
Funny Black Sayings By Meg Cabot: And I'm sure than in Poland, or somewhere, it is considered cool to drive a And I'm sure than in Poland, or somewhere, it is considered cool to drive a Porsche and wear necklaces and black silk, but at least back in Brooklyn if you did those things you were either a drug dealer or from New Jersey. — Meg Cabot
Funny Black Sayings By Robin Black: How funny it was. The very thing that had broken her heart, now no longer How funny it was. The very thing that had broken her heart, now no longer wanted. A trick of time. — Robin Black
Funny Black Sayings By Eddie Murphy: Mick Jagger's lips' so big, black people be going, "You got some big-ass lips!" Mick Jagger's lips' so big, black people be going, "You got some big-ass lips!" — Eddie Murphy
Funny Black Sayings By Jon Ronson: She chuckled to herself, pressed send, and wandered around the airport for half an hour, She chuckled to herself, pressed send, and wandered around the airport for half an hour, sporadically checking Twitter. "I got nothing," she told me. "No replies." I imagined her feeling a bit deflated about this - that sad feeling when nobody congratulates you for being funny, that black silence when the Internet doesn't talk back. — Jon Ronson
Funny Black Sayings By Lewis Black: It was the coldest winter ever! I thought last winter was the coldest winter ever, It was the coldest winter ever! I thought last winter was the coldest winter ever, but I was wrong now wasn't I? You see because I travel all the time. So last winter, I'd be in the midwest, and the blizzard would hit. And then I'd fly home, AND THE BLIZZARD WOULD HIT AGAIN! — Lewis Black
Funny Black Sayings By Gwen Hayes: You look worse today than you did when you had two blackeyes.""Why, thank you, Tyler. You look worse today than you did when you had two black
eyes."
"Why, thank you, Tyler. You always say the sweetest things. — Gwen Hayes
Funny Black Sayings By Olivia Cunning: Oh, hey, kettle, I'm pot and wow, you're black." - Owen Oh, hey, kettle, I'm pot and wow, you're black." - Owen — Olivia Cunning
Funny Black Sayings By J.K. Rowling: Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me? Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me? — J.K. Rowling
Funny Black Sayings By Seinfeld 2000: U.S. Presedent Barack Sadam Husene Obame sit in the darkened Oval Ofice at 2 a.m. U.S. Presedent Barack Sadam Husene Obame sit in the darkened Oval Ofice at 2 a.m. wearing hes traditienel Kenyan roabe.
He take one last bite of the Chicago style deep dish pizza that he has flown to him every day on the Amerecan tax payer's dime and wipe the grease off his mouth with the U.S. consititutien.
He get up and walk to desk, where he keeps the Kenyan black magic crystle ball. Its black glow iluminate his face.
"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo - which basic U.S. freedoms are next to go?" he say aloud to no one and every one at the same time.
Then he flash that trade mark Bary Obame million doller grin as a crack of lightning sound in the distence. — Seinfeld 2000
Funny Black Sayings By Kim Harrison: Your welcome means more to me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, than a thousand souls. Watching Rachel Your welcome means more to me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, than a thousand souls. Watching Rachel work is a wonder of one catastrophe after another. — Kim Harrison
Funny Black Sayings By Kevin Chapman: I did a film called 'Black Dynamite' that was very, very funny. That seems to I did a film called 'Black Dynamite' that was very, very funny. That seems to be a film that's kind of a cult classic. — Kevin Chapman
Funny Black Sayings By Seinfeld 2000: Sudenly Garge spring up and walk to the wall to admire some modarn art hanging Sudenly Garge spring up and walk to the wall to admire some modarn art hanging on Frank and Estele Catandas wall. Hes impressed. Frank and Estele have always had a traditienel sensibility when it come to aesthetic matter's. For as long as he knew it, this space on the wall was ocupied by a Normen Rockwell print of a smileing child with a cast on his arm eating a handful of bird seed out of the hand of the postman. But now its replace with this minimelist art work, a large black rectangle. He make out hes bald reflectien in the imposibly smooth black surfece. It look like something that should be hang in the Moma (Museum Of Modarn Art).
"This is beauteful," Garge remark. "It seem like a stark comentary on the end of art. Who designe this?"
"Not art," Frank go. "Thats a televisien. — Seinfeld 2000
Funny Black Sayings By Lewis Black: If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween ... If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween ... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you. — Lewis Black
Funny Black Sayings By Ewan McGregor: I've got a black woolen hat and it's got Pervert written across the front of I've got a black woolen hat and it's got Pervert written across the front of it. It's the name of the clothing label. And I was with my wife and my baby at the supermarket and I didn't think. I just put my hat on Clara's head, because it was cold. And the looks. I couldn't figure out why I was getting death looks. And then I realized my 10-month old baby's wearing a hat with the word Pervert written on it and these people were like, 'There's Satan! There's Satan out with his kid!' And then I made a point of her wearing it every time we went there. — Ewan McGregor
Funny Black Sayings By Rainbow Rowell: From: Beth Fremont To: Jennifer Scribner-Snyder Sent: Thurs, 09/30/1999 3:42 PM Subject: If you were From: Beth Fremont
To: Jennifer Scribner-Snyder
Sent: Thurs, 09/30/1999 3:42 PM
Subject: If you were Superman ...
... and you could choose any alter ego you wanted, why the hell would you choose to spend your Clark Kent hours - which already suck because you have to wear glasses and you can't fly - at a newspaper? Why not pose as a wealthy playboy like Batman? Or the leader of a small but important nation like Black Panther? Why would you choose to spend your days on deadline, making crap money, dealing with terminally crabby editors? — Rainbow Rowell
Funny Black Sayings By Neal Shusterman: Funny how morality, which always seems so black and white can be influenced so completely Funny how morality, which always seems so black and white can be influenced so completely by what you were raised to believe. — Neal Shusterman
Funny Black Sayings By Jamie Foxx: You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great. — Jamie Foxx
Funny Black Sayings By Lisa Kleypas: Unbelievable," I said in disgust. "What's unbelievable?" "Your ego. It's surrounded by its own cloud Unbelievable," I said in disgust.
"What's unbelievable?"
"Your ego. It's surrounded by its own cloud of antimatter. You're a black hole of ... of hubris!"
Jack stared at me through the shadows, and then he averted his face, and I thought I saw the white flash of a grin.
"Are you amused?" I demanded. "What the hell is so funny?"
"I was just thinking if the sex with you is one-tenth as fun as arguing with you, I'll be one happy bastard."
"You'll never find out. You - "
He kissed me. — Lisa Kleypas
Funny Black Sayings By Billy Connolly: Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else" — Billy Connolly
Funny Black Sayings By Lewis Black: Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week. — Lewis Black