Funny Grandmother Famous Quotes & Sayings

32 Funny Grandmother Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

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I try to act cool. I've never had a hand on my thigh, under the table. Cathy - my brother's wife - is telling a very funny story about the family's trips to Bridlington, and her elderly Grandmother is doling out peas, which makes the experience even stranger.Charlotte Stein Funny Grandmother Sayings By Charlotte Stein: I try to act cool. I've never had a hand on my thigh, under the
My great grandmother threw herself in front of a bus. The police tried to say she was committed suicide but the family knew she was just trying to stop civil rights.Anthony Jeselnik Funny Grandmother Sayings By Anthony Jeselnik: My great grandmother threw herself in front of a bus. The police tried to say
My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn."
"She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action."
-Ranger and Stephanie
Janet Evanovich Funny Grandmother Sayings By Janet Evanovich: My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your
Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!Greg Giraldo Funny Grandmother Sayings By Greg Giraldo: Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be
I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother.Charlie Day Funny Grandmother Sayings By Charlie Day: I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad
It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.Russell Baker Funny Grandmother Sayings By Russell Baker: It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day
Is it necessary, do you think,' he began, leaning in so close behind me that I could smell his breath, 'for the purpose of visiting your grandmother's childhood home, to dress like a kindergarten whore?Danielle Wood Funny Grandmother Sayings By Danielle Wood: Is it necessary, do you think,' he began, leaning in so close behind me that
I do find things funny. When you see life through the eyes of someone with a good sense of humor, which my grandmother did, life is a human comedy.George Takei Funny Grandmother Sayings By George Takei: I do find things funny. When you see life through the eyes of someone with
It's funny about me,' Sophia said. 'I always feel like such a nice girl whenever there's a storm.'
"'You do?' Grandmother said. 'Well, maybe ...' Nice, she thought. No. I'm certainly not nice. The best you could say of me is that I'm interested. [pp. 150-151]
Tove Jansson Funny Grandmother Sayings By Tove Jansson: It's funny about me,' Sophia said. 'I always feel like such a nice girl whenever
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.Erma Bombeck Funny Grandmother Sayings By Erma Bombeck: A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
It has affected me very much in the last 10 years. I get it from my grandmother. She was very superstitious as well. I'm funny about numbers. It's become a phobia, so I have to watch it. It affects your day a lot. Before I go on stage, there are certain things I do that are semi-sort of Gypsy superstitious things, but I'm coping with them. It hasn't affected the music, thank God. If you got really bad, you'd say I'll pick that note instead of that one or sing this song before that.Rory Gallagher Funny Grandmother Sayings By Rory Gallagher: It has affected me very much in the last 10 years. I get it from
I got my sense of humor from my grandmother. You know, my grandmother was very funny.Paul Mooney Funny Grandmother Sayings By Paul Mooney: I got my sense of humor from my grandmother. You know, my grandmother was very
I'm not trying to - What do teenagers say nowadays?" he asked my grandmother."Get all up in her biznez," Nana said.Without cracking a smile."That's right," he replied. "We're not trying to get all up in your biznez, Ali.Gena Showalter Funny Grandmother Sayings By Gena Showalter: I'm not trying to - What do teenagers say nowadays?" he asked my grandmother."Get all
I remembered a time when my grandmother had asked me to explain television to her - the guts, not the funny pictures. There are things which cannot be taught in ten easy lessons, nor popularized for the masses; they take years of skull sweat. This be treason in an age when ignorance has come into its own and one man's opinion is as good as another's. But there it is. As Star says, the world is what it is - and doesn't forgive ignorance.Robert A. Heinlein Funny Grandmother Sayings By Robert A. Heinlein: I remembered a time when my grandmother had asked me to explain television to her
We must have a creature made of Darkness to break through the cage of Darkenss that imprisons your grandmother," Thanatos said.
"That creature is me." Aurox stepped forward.
"Oh, for shit's sake! We are absolutely fucked!" Aphrodite said.
Sadly I had to agree with her.
P.C. Cast Funny Grandmother Sayings By P.C. Cast: We must have a creature made of Darkness to break through the cage of Darkenss
She sighed. Loudly. "Physical appearance is not what is important."
Yeah right. Tell that to any girl who hasn't bothered to put on a presentable shirt or fix her hair because she's only running into the grocery store to get a quart of milk for her grandmother, and who does she see tending the 7-ITEMS-OR-LESS cash register but the guy of her dreams, except she can't even say hi - much less try to develop a meaningful relationship - since she looks like the poster child for the terminally geeky.
Vivian Vande Velde Funny Grandmother Sayings By Vivian Vande Velde: She sighed. Loudly. "Physical appearance is not what is important."Yeah right. Tell that to any
You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your brains, one day."
For some reason the books of etiquette that Daphne's grandmother had forced on her didn't quite deal with this. Of course, silly people would say to babies, "You're so sweet I could gobble you all up!" but that sort of nonsense seemed less funny when it was said by a man in war paint who owned more than one skull. Daphne, cursed with good manners, settled for "It's very kind of you to say so.
Terry Pratchett Funny Grandmother Sayings By Terry Pratchett: You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your
I went to Catholic high school, so my being in this [the craft] is not going to make my grandmother very happy. It's funny, because I was the only one who is Catholic in it. You have this thing in mass where you have to genuflect before you go into the pew, so I said you have to do this [for a scene] and they said why, and I said because you have to; I don't know why, it's a rule. Or like instinct. It's funny they set in a Catholic school. I went to St. Ignatius College Prep - "Where Modesty is our Policy."Robin Tunney Funny Grandmother Sayings By Robin Tunney: I went to Catholic high school, so my being in this [the craft] is not
Her hands shot up. "See that's exactly what I'm saying. You're seeing what you want, and what you see you explain away and excuse things like you're fixing me. I'm not perfect, Ephraim and I really wish you would see that."
"You drool."
"What?" That caught her off guard.
"When you're asleep you drool. I've woken up more than a few times with a little puddle forming on my chest." After a thought he added. "And you snore. Not a delicate snore either mind you."
"I do not!" Her face colored with indignation.
He sighed heavily as if the knowledge pained him. "Oh, but you do. I've even heard Jill talk about it. Did you know that's the main reason she was happy about her room. Actually, she and Joshua thanked your Grandmother for putting you at the other end of the house, something about finally getting a decent night's sleep. They compared your snore to a chainsaw. I can see why they'd say that.
R.L. Mathewson Funny Grandmother Sayings By R.L. Mathewson: Her hands shot up. "See that's exactly what I'm saying. You're seeing what you want,
Where'd you send her?"
"Siberia. Lovely this time of year. A bit remote, I'm afraid. Might take her weeks to find a town and even longer to arrange transportation back to the States."
My lips quirked. I didn't feel like laughing, but the image of my half-millenium-old grandmother trudging through snow was kind of funny. "You're sick, you know that?"
"What can I day? I thought a cold-hearted bitch like her would feel at home in the tundra.
Jaye Wells Funny Grandmother Sayings By Jaye Wells: Where'd you send her?""Siberia. Lovely this time of year. A bit remote, I'm afraid. Might
Theodore- Hello, Grandmother. You're looking more beautiful than ever.
His grandma- You did have to inherit your looks from someone.
Jen Turano Funny Grandmother Sayings By Jen Turano: Theodore- Hello, Grandmother. You're looking more beautiful than ever.His grandma- You did have to inherit
My grandmother raised me. She was a real no-nonsense but very funny lady. I drove tractors, made hay, milked cows, fed the chicken, fed the pigs.Carol Bartz Funny Grandmother Sayings By Carol Bartz: My grandmother raised me. She was a real no-nonsense but very funny lady. I drove
Moreover, grandmothers of students who aren't doing so well in class are at even higher risk - students who are failing are fifty times more likely to lose a grandmother compared with non-failing students. In a paper exploring this sad connection, Adam speculates that the phenomenon is due to intrafamilial dynamics, which is to say, students' grandmothers care so much about their grandchildren that they worry themselves to death over the outcome of exams.Dan Ariely Funny Grandmother Sayings By Dan Ariely: Moreover, grandmothers of students who aren't doing so well in class are at even higher
I'm supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty," I told her.
Without a moment's hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: "It depends on if you're drinking or pouring.
Bill Cosby Funny Grandmother Sayings By Bill Cosby: I'm supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty," I
You're dropping the bow hand as you release," he called, although Halt certainly wasn't.
His mentor looked around, saw him, and replied pithily, "I believe your grandmother needs lessons in sucking eggs.
John Flanagan Funny Grandmother Sayings By John Flanagan: You're dropping the bow hand as you release," he called, although Halt certainly wasn't.His mentor
I said, I ain't buyin' no chocolate covered cherries."
"Oh, come on. You know you want to."
D shook his head like Jack was just too much to be believed. "I do not either want to, and them candies makes me think of my grandmother, so it's real fuckin' weird that you turned 'em inta some kinda sex fantasy, okay? 'Cause then I get all mixed up in my head where I'm in my grandma's livin' room makin' Play-Doh french fries while you suck my dick and that's just ten kinds of wrong. Even I ain't that fucked up."
Jack laughed. "Not yet you aren't." He looked at D's face, smiling with him.
Jane Seville Funny Grandmother Sayings By Jane Seville: I said, I ain't buyin' no chocolate covered cherries." "Oh, come on. You know you
Will the devil be home?"
"My grandma is not the devil," Ben said, smiling despite the insult. "Besides, isn't the devil a male?"
"I thought so until I met your grandma. Could you tell her to stop calling me Fatty?"
"You could stand to lose a little weight.
Victor Kloss Funny Grandmother Sayings By Victor Kloss: Will the devil be home?""My grandma is not the devil," Ben said, smiling despite the
Darling Daddy,
This is Rose.
So flames went all up the kitchen wall. Saffron called the fire brigade and the police came too to see if it was a trick and the police woman said to Saffron Here You Are Again because of when I got lost having my glasses checked. But I was with Tom whose grandmother is a witch on top of the highest place in town.
Love, Rose.
Hilary McKay Funny Grandmother Sayings By Hilary McKay: Darling Daddy,This is Rose.So flames went all up the kitchen wall. Saffron called the fire
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.George Brett Funny Grandmother Sayings By George Brett: If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with
It's funny about love', Sophia said. 'The more you love someone, the less he likes you back.'
'That's very true,' Grandmother observed. 'And so what do you do?'
'You go on loving,' said Sophia threateningly. 'You love harder and harder.
Tove Jansson Funny Grandmother Sayings By Tove Jansson: It's funny about love', Sophia said. 'The more you love someone, the less he likes
It's funny because the most sane women I've ever met are my mom and my grandmothers. I think you have to be incredibly sane and self-aware to function in relatively insane environments.Jenny Lawson Funny Grandmother Sayings By Jenny Lawson: It's funny because the most sane women I've ever met are my mom and my
My grandmother thinks it's really funny to put all sorts of things in our - my lunch. I never know what'll be inside: e.e. cummings, flower petals, a handful of buttons. She seems to have lost sight of the original purpose of the brown bag." - Lennie
"Or maybe she thinks other forms of nourishment are more important." - Joe
Jandy Nelson Funny Grandmother Sayings By Jandy Nelson: My grandmother thinks it's really funny to put all sorts of things in our -