Funny Obvious Famous Quotes & Sayings

48 Funny Obvious Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

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Then this," Grimm said, "is what I believe professional inquisitors refer to as a clue."
"In my considered judgment as an occasional inquisitor for the Spirearch," Benedict said, "I believe you may be correct.
Jim Butcher Funny Obvious Sayings By Jim Butcher: Then this," Grimm said, "is what I believe professional inquisitors refer to as a clue.""In
Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing.Jack Paar Funny Obvious Sayings By Jack Paar: Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book),
The obvious thing to say of his appearance was that he would have been extremely handsome if he had not been entirely bald. But, indeed, that would itself be a rather bald way of putting it. Fantastic as it sounds, it would fit the case better to say that people would have been surprised to see hair growing on him; as surprised as if they had found hair growing on the bust of a Roman emperor.G.K. Chesterton Funny Obvious Sayings By G.K. Chesterton: The obvious thing to say of his appearance was that he would have been extremely
Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information?" Bones asked, getting back to the subject. "You to take me," she replied at once. "Not gonna happen!" I spat, squeezing him possessively. Three sets of widened eyes fixed on me. That's when I realized that what I had a firm grip on was no longer his hand.Jeaniene Frost Funny Obvious Sayings By Jeaniene Frost: Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information?" Bones
The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.Jim Butcher Funny Obvious Sayings By Jim Butcher: The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to
I feel that a lot of British comedy is often too bombastic, too obvious, dressing up and shouting and pulling funny faces.Ricky Gervais Funny Obvious Sayings By Ricky Gervais: I feel that a lot of British comedy is often too bombastic, too obvious, dressing
Asshole." "Just for that, I expect you to wrap that dirty mouth of yours around my cock tonight." He narrowed his eyes on me.
I couldn't believe he'd just said that to me in a fancy restaurant where anyone might overhear. "Are you kidding?" "Babe," he gave me a look that suggested I was missing the obvious, "I never kid about blowjobs."
Our waiter had descended on us just in time to hear those romantic words and his rosy cheeks betrayed his embarrassment. "Ready to order?" he croaked out."Yes," Braden answered, obviously uncaring he'd been overhead. "I'll have the steak, medium-rare." He smiled softly at me. "What are you having?" He took a swig of water. He thought he was so cool and funny. "Apparently sausage." Braden choked on the water, coughing into his fists, his eyes bright with mirth as he put his glass back on the table. "Are you okay, sir?" The waiter asked anxiously. "I'm fine, I'm fine.
Samantha Young Funny Obvious Sayings By Samantha Young: Asshole." "Just for that, I expect you to wrap that dirty mouth of yours around
Well," Mr. Cheeseman interjected. "Perhaps there's an easy solution to this. Maybe Captain Fabulous has an alter ego."
"What's an alter ego?" asked Gerard.
"It's a superhero's true but secret identity," said Chip. "You know, the way that Superman is really Clark Kent." "Superman is really Clark Kent?"
"It's pretty obvious," said Penny. "To everyone but you and Lois Lane."
"Okay," Gerard conceded. "Captain Fabulous's alter ego will be ... Teddy Roosevelt.
Cuthbert Soup Funny Obvious Sayings By Cuthbert Soup: Well," Mr. Cheeseman interjected. "Perhaps there's an easy solution to this. Maybe Captain Fabulous has
As is perhaps obvious, Morris Zapp had no great esteem for his fellow-labourers in the vineyards of literature. They seemed to him vague, fickle, irresponsible creatures, who wallowed in relativism like hippopotami in mud, with their nostrils barely protruding into the air of common-sense. They happily tolerated the existence of opinions contrary to their own - they even, for God's sake, sometimes changed their minds. Their pathetic attempts at profundity were qualified out of existence and largely interrogative in mode. They liked to begin a paper with some formula like, 'I want to raise some questions about so-and-so', and seemed to think they had done their intellectual duty by merely raising them. This manoeuvre drove Morris Zapp insane. Any damn fool, he maintained, could think of questions; it was answers that separated the men from the boys.David Lodge Funny Obvious Sayings By David Lodge: As is perhaps obvious, Morris Zapp had no great esteem for his fellow-labourers in the
When you're in love with two people, always choose the second. The fact that you are constantly thinking of the second person makes it obvious that the first will never fulfill you, unless the second person did not fulfill you either. At this point, you have to choose the third person because God is getting a little tired of your inattention and indecisiveness, and is planning on sending a fourth person into your life just to slap you around with the bible for not entering the promised land.Shannon L. Alder Funny Obvious Sayings By Shannon L. Alder: When you're in love with two people, always choose the second. The fact that you
He shook his head, but I kept flattering him, telling him how fine his beard was, how fair his skin was (ha!), how it was obvious from his nose and forehead that he wasn't some pig herd who had converted, but a true-blue Muslim who had flown here on a magic carpet all the way from Mecca, and he grunted with satisfactionAravind Adiga Funny Obvious Sayings By Aravind Adiga: He shook his head, but I kept flattering him, telling him how fine his beard
-What's so funny?"
"-Sorry," David said, reddening again. "You just taste so sweet."
"-What do you mean, sweet?"
He licked his bottom lip one more time.
"-You taste like honey."
"-Honey?"
"-Yeah, I thought I was going nuts the day ... well, you know, that one day. But it was the same today. Your mouth is really sweet."
He paused for a second, then grinned.
"-Hot like honey-like nectar. That makes more sense."
"-Great. Now I'm going to have to explain that to everyone I kiss for the rest of my life unless it's you or another faerie."
She'd almost said Tamani's name. Her fingers flew to the ring around her neck.
David shrugged.
"-Then don't kiss anyone except me."
"-David ... "
"-I'm just offering up the obvious solution," he said, hands up in protest.
Aprilynne Pike Funny Obvious Sayings By Aprilynne Pike: -What's so funny?""-Sorry," David said, reddening again. "You just taste so sweet.""-What do you mean,
When I first saw Ellie, I knew it was her
she was my fantasy. I didn't want it to be true, but every time I met her it was obvious, and the funny thing was that she was better than the fantasy, like I got more stuff than I'd imagined.
Jenny Downham Funny Obvious Sayings By Jenny Downham: When I first saw Ellie, I knew it was her she was my fantasy. I
Looks like he's lost a guinea and found a farthing," Horace said, then added, unnecessarily, "Will, I mean."
Halt turned in his saddle to regard the younger man and raised an eyebrow.
"I may be almost senile in your eyes, Horace, but there's no need to explain the blindly obvious to me. I'd hardly have thought you were referring to Tug.
John Flanagan Funny Obvious Sayings By John Flanagan: Looks like he's lost a guinea and found a farthing," Horace said, then added, unnecessarily,
I walked to the door where Clovis waited. When I looked up, he was staring at Adam. A quick glance backward confirmed Adam was returning his stare. Freaking males, I thought, they couldn't be more obvious about their territorial dispute if they'd both peed on me.Jaye Wells Funny Obvious Sayings By Jaye Wells: I walked to the door where Clovis waited. When I looked up, he was staring
It's funny how sometimes you don't see the obvious things coming. You think you know what life has in store for you. You think you're prepared. You think you can handle it. And then-boom, like a thunderclap-something comes at you out of nowhere and catches you off guard.Cynthia Hand Funny Obvious Sayings By Cynthia Hand: It's funny how sometimes you don't see the obvious things coming. You think you know
There are hidden contradictions in the minds of people who "love Nature" while deploring the "artificialities" with which "Man has spoiled Nature.'" The obvious contradiction lies in their choice of words, which imply that Man and his artifacts are not part of "Nature" : but beavers and their dams are.Robert A. Heinlein Funny Obvious Sayings By Robert A. Heinlein: There are hidden contradictions in the minds of people who "love Nature" while deploring the
He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.Charles Dickens Funny Obvious Sayings By Charles Dickens: He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder
Ash went over to the closet, and Sloane maintained his stoic expression. There was no way Dex would be hiding in the closet. It was too obvious. Ash opened the door, looking unimpressed. "There's a fuckwit naked in your closet."
Dex looked up at Ash with wide eyes. "This isn't what it looks like. I dropped some change, it rolled under the closet door, and when I went to pick it up, my clothes fell off. True story.
Charlie Cochet Funny Obvious Sayings By Charlie Cochet: Ash went over to the closet, and Sloane maintained his stoic expression. There was no
I think," said Dominique firmly, "that he is the most revolting person I've ever met." "Oh, now, really?" "Do you care for that sort of unbridled arrogance? I don't know what one could say for him, unless it's that he's terribly good-looking, if that matters." "Good-looking? Are you being funny, Dominique?" Kiki Holcombe saw Dominique being stupidly puzzled for once. And Dominique realized that what she saw in his face, what made it the face of a god to her, was not seen by others; that it could leave them indifferent; that what she had thought to be the most obvious, inconsequential remark was, instead, a confession of something within her, some quality not shared by others.Ayn Rand Funny Obvious Sayings By Ayn Rand: I think," said Dominique firmly, "that he is the most revolting person I've ever met."
Bugs like these we've got here, you aren't going to find those unless you slow down and hunt really hard. Live nearby for a while and look. At which point it's too late, if you get a bad result. You're out of luck then." Long silence as he walked south along the beach. Then: "It's too bad. It really is a very pretty world." Later: "What's funny is anyone thinking it would work in the first place. I mean it's obvious any new place is going to be either alive or dead. If it's alive it's going to be poisonous, if it's dead you're going to have to work it up from scratch. I suppose that could work, but it might take about as long as it took Earth. Even if you've got the right bugs, even if you put machines to work, it would take thousands of years. So what's the point? Why do it at all? Why not be content with what you've got? Who were they, that they were so discontent? Who the fuck were they?" This sounded much like Devi, and Freya put her headKim Stanley Robinson Funny Obvious Sayings By Kim Stanley Robinson: Bugs like these we've got here, you aren't going to find those unless you slow
So much of the humor on new sitcoms plays to the lowest common denominator. Wit isn't nearly given as much attention as slipping on a banana peel. So much of the writing is so coarse, so obvious that it doesn't provide a shock, never mind a laugh. What makes something funny is alluding to it without laying it out explicitly. You let the audiences fill in the gaps and that's where the laughs come.Betty White Funny Obvious Sayings By Betty White: So much of the humor on new sitcoms plays to the lowest common denominator. Wit
How very wet this water is.L. Frank Baum Funny Obvious Sayings By L. Frank Baum: How very wet this water is.
Halt eyed them balefully. They were all being so obvious about not mentioning his sudden reappearance that it was even worse than if they had commented on it ...
'Oh, go on!' he said. 'Somebody say something! I know what you're thinking!'
'It's good to see you up and about, Halt,' Selethen said gravely ...
Halt glared at the others and they quickly chorused their pleasure at seeing him back to his normal self. But he could see the grins they didn't quite manage to hide. He fixed a glare on Alyss.
'I'm surprised at you Alyss,' he said. 'I expected no better of Will and Evanlyn, of course. Heartless beasts, the pair of them. But you! I thought you had been better trained!' ...
'Halt, I'm sorry! It's not funny, you're right ... Shut up, Will.' This last was directed at Will as he tried, unsuccessfully, to smother a snigger.
John Flanagan Funny Obvious Sayings By John Flanagan: Halt eyed them balefully. They were all being so obvious about not mentioning his sudden
Conversations about films are always funny. I would say a majority of people want to talk about what were the more obvious successes; the big box office films. Other people wanting to be more sensitive to you want to talk about the ones that maybe didn't make a lot of money, but they think you might have a special feeling about. And then other people sometimes want to help you by suggesting that you should have done this or that in the movie, that that would have helped you a great deal in whatever capacity.Walter Hill Funny Obvious Sayings By Walter Hill: Conversations about films are always funny. I would say a majority of people want to
To state the obvious, romantic comedies have to be funny and they have to be romantic. But one of the most important things, for me anyway, is that they be about two strong people finding their way to love.Nora Ephron Funny Obvious Sayings By Nora Ephron: To state the obvious, romantic comedies have to be funny and they have to be
They call me Domino for obvious reasons. One nudge in the right direction and I'm flat on my stomach.Charlie Cochrane Funny Obvious Sayings By Charlie Cochrane: They call me Domino for obvious reasons. One nudge in the right direction and I'm
His obvious nervousness at seeing me made
me feel less nervous about seeing him, and I was glad for it.
"Sorry for just droppin' in unannounced,""I said, and gnawed on my lower lip.
Ryder shook his head. "No, no, it's more than fine. It's great actually. Really, really great."
"Ry," Alec said, and when I looked at him I saw him trying not to laugh. "You need to calm down."
"Calm? I am calm."
He so wasn't
L.A. Casey Funny Obvious Sayings By L.A. Casey: His obvious nervousness at seeing me made me feel less nervous about seeing him, and
Attachments made men soft. This fact was made obvious lately by my buddies.
I blamed Tucker. A little over a year earlier, the idiot strolled over to a table filled with college girls. Each one shot him down until he was left with Maddy. For whatever reason, she thought he was funny. Or maybe just hot enough to overcome his lack of brain cells. They hooked up and he quickly handed his balls to her with a ribbon tied around them. He acted like he was still his own man, but the guy was whipped to the point of being fluffy.
Once he lost his way, the others fell like dominoes.
Bijou Hunter Funny Obvious Sayings By Bijou Hunter: Attachments made men soft. This fact was made obvious lately by my buddies. I blamed
Ah, well, when you explain it like that, it seems obvious," said Mudge. "Of course, it always seems obvious once it's been explained.Theodora Goss Funny Obvious Sayings By Theodora Goss: Ah, well, when you explain it like that, it seems obvious," said Mudge. "Of course,
Chase had looked at the apartment - online - talked to the real estate agent - online - obtained references - online.
Now, standing in the hallway, it was obvious he'd gotten fucked - online.
Adrienne Wilder Funny Obvious Sayings By Adrienne Wilder: Chase had looked at the apartment - online - talked to the real estate agent
People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know ... People - I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they want more love or attention, or what it is, but they always go for the most obvious place, you know? Here ... Well if you really want more attention, why not get them in your eyes? And then move you eyes down to where you nipples used to be, put you breasts up on your head, EVERYBODY will pay attention!Dylan Moran Funny Obvious Sayings By Dylan Moran: People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know ... People - I don't know.
No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'Trey Parker Funny Obvious Sayings By Trey Parker: No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny,
I wasn't the class clown. I wasn't that obvious. There would be a circle of guys, and they're watching the class clown. And I'm standing in the back, and I turn to the guy next to me and I say something funny to him, and he starts to laugh. And the guy next to him says, 'What did he say?'Bob Newhart Funny Obvious Sayings By Bob Newhart: I wasn't the class clown. I wasn't that obvious. There would be a circle of
If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of it ... The connection is obvious. You get off, "Man, that was just like the movie! Only the movie had a storyline and characters, and that was a little more like a roller coaster."Brian Regan Funny Obvious Sayings By Brian Regan: If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make
Marc's hand tightened visibly around Kevin's fingers, his digits going white. Again. Both men clenched their jaws, Kevin in pain, and Marc in an obvious effort to control his temper and keep from breaking Kevin's hand. Off. Why couldn't guys find a more original way to test each other's manly prowess? Arm wrestling might have been more subtle. Or maybe comparing the length of their ... canines.Rachel Vincent Funny Obvious Sayings By Rachel Vincent: Marc's hand tightened visibly around Kevin's fingers, his digits going white. Again. Both men clenched
Funny . . . humanity's great at the tiny patterns. We can find quarks in an atom and Jesus's face in a tortilla. But that big picture is so elusive, so overwhelming, people refuse to believe something as obvious as their life in Des Moines affects lives in Delhi.P.J. Manney Funny Obvious Sayings By P.J. Manney: Funny . . . humanity's great at the tiny patterns. We can find quarks in
God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups.Oliver Markus Funny Obvious Sayings By Oliver Markus: God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups.
This is Glesca ... Any time you're confused, take a wee minute to remind yourself of that inescapable fact: this is Glesca. We don't do subtle, we don't do nuanced, we don't do conspiracy. We do pish-heid bampot bludgeoning his girlfriend to death in a fit of paranoid rage induced by forty-eight hours straight on the batter. We do coked-up neds jumping on a guy's heid outside a nightclub because he looked at them funny. We do drug-dealing gangster rockets shooting other drug-dealing gangster rockets as comeback for something almost identical a fortnight ago. We do bam-on-bam. We do tit-for-tat, score-settling, feuds, jealousy, petty revenge. We do straightforward. We do obvious. We do cannaemisswhodunit. When you hear hoofbeats on Sauchiehall Street, it's gaunny be a horse, no' a zebra ... '.Christopher Brookmyre Funny Obvious Sayings By Christopher Brookmyre: This is Glesca ... Any time you're confused, take a wee minute to remind yourself
It is now obvious to us all that he has every objection," said Randall. "You know, you had very much better withdraw, my dear aunt. I feel sure that Uncle Henry's double life is going to be exposed. My own conviction is that he has been keeping a mistress for years."
[ ... ]
Mrs. Lupton flushed. "You forget yourself, Randall. I am not going to stand here and see my husband insulted by your ill-bred notions of what is funny."
"Oh, I wasn't insulting him," said Randall. "Why shouldn't he have a mistress? I am inclined to think that in his place -as your spouse, my dear Aunt Gertrude- I should have several.
Georgette Heyer Funny Obvious Sayings By Georgette Heyer: It is now obvious to us all that he has every objection," said Randall. "You
Miss Sumner, may I inquire as to why you're lounging on the floor?" Mrs. Watson asked.
Miss Sumner uttered something which sounded very much like "it should be obvious" before she lifted her head. "You really must compliment your staff, Mrs. Watson. This floor is remarkably clean.
Jen Turano Funny Obvious Sayings By Jen Turano: Miss Sumner, may I inquire as to why you're lounging on the floor?" Mrs. Watson
You did all this," I breathe heavy with awe. "You gave them the courage to take a stand."
He shakes his head. "No. You did. You started all this," he leans in, his lips hot and warm breath tickling against my ear. "You gave me the strength," he sucks in a quick breathe and lets out a laughing exhale. "You gave me the strength to break free of all these ridiculous canons of public behavior."
I smile, partly because I find his sophisticated speech funny, but mostly because he makes my heart bounce.
I don't believe it was me who inspired all these people. It's obvious it was David. But I did manage to inspire. I inspired David and that's all it takes. It takes for just one person to make a stand, and another to be moved and inspired by that one brave act. Gravity takes care of the rest as the word spreads and everything falls into place.
David R. Torres Funny Obvious Sayings By David R. Torres: You did all this," I breathe heavy with awe. "You gave them the courage to
It's funny, because you always think the hard part is meeting someone the first time. It's not. It's the second time, because you've already used up all the obvious topics of conversation. And even if you haven't, it's strange and heavy-handed to introduce random conversational topics at this stage in the game. Hi, Reid. Let's converse about topics. HOW MANY SIBLINGS DO YOU HAVE? WHAT BOOKS DO YOU LIKE?Becky Albertalli Funny Obvious Sayings By Becky Albertalli: It's funny, because you always think the hard part is meeting someone the first time.
There are things I've given up on
Like recording funny answering machine messages.
It's part of growing older
And the human race as a group has matured along the same lines.
It seems our comedy dates the quickest.
If you laugh out loud at Shakespeare's jokes
I hope you won't be insulted
if I say you're trying too hard.
Even sketches from the original Saturday Night Live
seem slow-witted and obvious now.
David Berman Funny Obvious Sayings By David Berman: There are things I've given up onLike recording funny answering machine messages.It's part of growing
Senator. If you call my friend a liar one more time, I will take it badly."
"Excuse me?" Arnos said, his eyebrows rising up.
"I suggest you find an alternate shortsighted, egomaniacally ridiculous reason to blatantly, recklessly ignore an obvious threat to the Realm simply because you don't wish it to exist. If you cannot restrain yourself from base slander, I will be pleased to meet you in juris macto and personally rip your forked tongue from your head.
Jim Butcher Funny Obvious Sayings By Jim Butcher: Senator. If you call my friend a liar one more time, I will take it
For reasons that will become obvious, I call this story, "There's a Horse in My Living Room." It's about how I wound up with a horse in my living room.June Foray Funny Obvious Sayings By June Foray: For reasons that will become obvious, I call this story, "There's a Horse in My
That's funny. You would think after being followed and shoved into a dark alley by a stranger, you would be at least a little shaken. Don't tell me, you are a black belt just waiting for the perfect moment to strike." He laughed soundlessly. "I mean your words do sound brave but your eyes and the fact that you're trembling like a scared little kitten say something else entirely." Even though the alley was submerged in darkness and shadows, it was obvious there was a devilish grin stretched across his face ...Nicole Rae Funny Obvious Sayings By Nicole Rae: That's funny. You would think after being followed and shoved into a dark alley by
Chiron looked surprised. I thought that would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles.Rick Riordan Funny Obvious Sayings By Rick Riordan: Chiron looked surprised. I thought that would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld