Funny Online Famous Quotes & Sayings

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29 Funny Online Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

Funny Online Sayings By Bill Bailey: Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams. — Bill Bailey
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Funny Online Sayings By Katie Kacvinsky: I'm used to the security of living behind my online profiles and the clip art I'm used to the security of living behind my online profiles and the clip art advertisdements I create to define me. I can be whoever I want to be in that world. I can be funny, deep, pensive, eccentric. I can be the best version of myself. I can make all the right decisions. I can delete my flaws by pressing a button.
In the real world anything can happen. It's like stepping onto an icy surface
you have to adjust your footing or you'll slip and fall. Your movements become rigid and unsure because behind all the fancy gadgets and all that digital armor, you realize you're just flesh and bones. — Katie Kacvinsky
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Funny Online Sayings By Stevie Smith: All poetry has to do is to make a strong communication. All the poet has All poetry has to do is to make a strong communication. All the poet has to do is listen. The poet is not an important fellow. There will also be another poet. — Stevie Smith
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Funny Online Sayings By Rajneesh: I am here to help you to be total wherever you are; in whatsoever state I am here to help you to be total wherever you are; in whatsoever state you are - live that state totally. It is only in living a thing totally that one transcends it. — Rajneesh
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Funny Online Sayings By Lauren Oliver: Funny how easily you could look this shit up online. Explosives, bombs, Molotov cocktails, IEDs Funny how easily you could look this shit up online. Explosives, bombs, Molotov cocktails, IEDs . . . anything you wanted. Learning how to blow someone up was easier than buying a frigging beer. — Lauren Oliver
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Funny Online Sayings By Zach Galifianakis: Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing. — Zach Galifianakis
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Funny Online Sayings By Tim Allen: I've gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I'm back to a flip-phone. I've gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I'm back to a flip-phone. It's funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they're considered antiques. — Tim Allen
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Funny Online Sayings By David Alan Basche: It's fun when the writers start writing jokes to you, but also it's fun when It's fun when the writers start writing jokes to you, but also it's fun when the writers will come to you and say 'Hey, listen, we're working on this story and we need to know if you speak any foreign languages.' And I said 'No, I don't. I speak a little Spanish, but I can learn a foreign language.' And they go 'Okay, do you think you can learn Portuguese?' And I go 'Yeah, whatever it takes. If it's funny, I'll do it.' So of course I start looking online and learning Portuguese, and as it turns out, I get the script and it's now Serbian. — David Alan Basche
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Funny Online Sayings By John Erskine: Whenever we read a book we love, we change it, to some extent. We read Whenever we read a book we love, we change it, to some extent. We read into it our own interpretations, and the meanings which the words have taken on in our time. If a book is so rigid that it cannot lend itself to these fluctuations, it is useful only while it seems strictly true, and afterwards it is completely out of date. — John Erskine
Funny Online Sayings By Ryan Lilly: I want my online content to be so good that Google's web crawler stops and I want my online content to be so good that Google's web crawler stops and says "Dayyyum son! — Ryan Lilly
Funny Online Sayings By Michael Arrington: I believe the term "blog" means more than an online journal. I believe a blog I believe the term "blog" means more than an online journal. I believe a blog is a conversation. People go to blogs to read AND write, not just consume. — Michael Arrington
Funny Online Sayings By Kina Grannis: I posted a video a day for almost two months and was hardly sleeping, but I posted a video a day for almost two months and was hardly sleeping, but I think it really pushed me to give music everything I had in me. I knew it was a chance I couldn't miss. The funny thing is I never saw my music video when it aired during the Super Bowl because as soon as I heard my song start I was in tears for the next 10 minutes! The most amazing thing that came out of all of this, however, was the support that had developed online. Without the people that came back day after day to vote for me, I'd be nowhere, and I really owe it all to them. — Kina Grannis
Funny Online Sayings By Simon Holt: It was safe to assume he'd not only read the play but then re-read it, It was safe to assume he'd not only read the play but then re-read it, cross-referenced the annotations, and probably joined an online chat group called Buds of the Bard or something equally nerdy — Simon Holt
Funny Online Sayings By Louis C.K.: There's nothing that beats proving you're funny by making a funny thing, and right now There's nothing that beats proving you're funny by making a funny thing, and right now there are huge outlets for that, with You Tube and all the other stuff online. — Louis C.K.
Funny Online Sayings By Paul Scheer: It's funny to think of Dave Chappelle's show and how popular it was and he It's funny to think of Dave Chappelle's show and how popular it was and he was before YouTube. I would imagine 'Chappelle's Show' would be even more giant if there was a chance to put his stuff online and pass it around. — Paul Scheer
Funny Online Sayings By David Byrne: The online music magazine Pitchfork once wrote that I would collaborate with anyone for a The online music magazine Pitchfork once wrote that I would collaborate with anyone for a bag of Doritos. — David Byrne
Funny Online Sayings By Jim Hightower: Becoming a politician is the only step down I could take from being a journalist. Becoming a politician is the only step down I could take from being a journalist. — Jim Hightower
Funny Online Sayings By Mike Mills: It's funny now how much we look at - whatever you want to call it: It's funny now how much we look at - whatever you want to call it: art, design, culture stuff, film - online, and how in the online world, you're instantly global. — Mike Mills
Funny Online Sayings By Susan Speranza: And so began the years of my internment, where I was locked away from all And so began the years of my internment, where I was locked away from all human things, imprisoned in my solitude like Rapunzel imprisoned in the tower. I knew instinctively that I was still very much alive within the tomb, that what was good and kind and loving and generous in me still existed in the very depths of my being, buried beneath layers of fire and ice. But I also knew that I was incapable of rising from the tomb myself, of bursting forth on my own through the thick layers that surrounded me. It was as if a spell had been cast; the only thing that could break it now was a human word, a human touch.
Which never came. — Susan Speranza
Funny Online Sayings By J.R. Ward: You can call me Pastor-and before Mr. Sox Fan gets his panties in a wad, You can call me Pastor-and before Mr. Sox Fan gets his panties in a wad, I want everyone to know I'm legit. I went online, took a minister's course in under an hour, and I'm ordained, baby. — J.R. Ward
Funny Online Sayings By Gwen Stefani: I was down after divorce - I was all the way down. And I just I was down after divorce - I was all the way down. And I just felt like, "God, I gotta turn this around. I can't go down like this. I have to know that this is happening for a reason." And I knew that I had to turn to music. — Gwen Stefani
Funny Online Sayings By Adrienne Wilder: Chase had looked at the apartment - online - talked to the real estate agent Chase had looked at the apartment - online - talked to the real estate agent - online - obtained references - online.
Now, standing in the hallway, it was obvious he'd gotten fucked - online. — Adrienne Wilder
Funny Online Sayings By Evgeny Morozov: When we get the remote Russian village online, what will get people to the Internet When we get the remote Russian village online, what will get people to the Internet is not going to be reports from Human Rights Watch. It's going to be pornography, 'Sex and the City,' or maybe funny videos of cats. — Evgeny Morozov
Funny Online Sayings By Jill Shalvis: Are you sure? Because it looks bad. And you're pale. You're never pale.""I've seen him Are you sure? Because it looks bad. And you're pale. You're never pale."

"I've seen him look much worse," Dell said. "Like last year, when I signed him up for this online dating thing. He got all scared. He was pretty pale then."

"Because I was stalked," Adam said. "By a crazy person."

"Aw, she wasn't that bad. And she bought you that teddy bear, remember? Because you were her cuddle umpkins. How scary can a woman who says 'cuddle umpkins' be? — Jill Shalvis
Funny Online Sayings By Teresa Heinz: I was always impressed by Betty Ford and what she went through and how full I was always impressed by Betty Ford and what she went through and how full of integrity she was, and how brave. I think Mrs. Reagan was a role model of my mother's generation, intelligent, very supportive of her husband. I am very different from my mom, but I admired her devotion. — Teresa Heinz
Funny Online Sayings By Rachel Sklar: I downloaded a Ricky Gervais podcast once at the persistent urging of a friend and I downloaded a Ricky Gervais podcast once at the persistent urging of a friend and found it funny but distracting - if I'm online, I'm surfing, which means I'm distracted from the podcast. So it's a form that doesn't really work for me. — Rachel Sklar
Funny Online Sayings By P.K. Darling: It's my Prom King, Brett. He's tapping at the window, wanting me to roll it It's my Prom King, Brett. He's tapping at the window, wanting me to roll it down or to get out of the car - what an image that would be. How will I ever live that down? I can't even see myself laughing about it twenty years from now. If the neighbors walk past they'll probably report me to social services, I can hear them on the phone now, She's too lazy to even go to the bathroom, she just shits in her car. — P.K. Darling
Funny Online Sayings By Melissa Hale: I do have regrets about the whole thing. I regret most the way I spoke I do have regrets about the whole thing. I regret most the way I spoke to you. You can talk to whomever you chose to talk to. But this is who I am, it is my nature. Anyone who treats you with anything but the utmost respect is going to get knocked on their ass. I do feel that you belong to me, not that I own you, but that you are mine to protect. — Melissa Hale
Funny Online Sayings By Brian L. Tucker: God made the world in 6 days. I can't even remember what I did last God made the world in 6 days. I can't even remember what I did last week. — Brian L. Tucker