Funny Priest Famous Quotes & Sayings

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13 Funny Priest Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

Funny Priest Sayings By J.D. Salinger: (Family rumor has it that he was originally cloistered off - that is relieved of (Family rumor has it that he was originally cloistered off - that is relieved of his duties as a secular priest in Astoria - to free him of a persistent temptation to administer the sacramental wafer to his parishioners' lips by standing back two or three feet and trajecting it in a lovely arc over his left shoulder.) — J.D. Salinger
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Funny Priest Sayings By Zathyn Priest: Is he about to kiss me? Did he eat garlic too or was I the Is he about to kiss me? Did he eat garlic too or was I the only one? 'Cause if Ric didn't eat garlic then my breath's gonna stink and he'll think ... Oh for fuck sake, shut up internal dialogue! — Zathyn Priest
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Funny Priest Sayings By Zathyn Priest: Do you prefer to be called Richard or Dick?" "Ric." "Dick? I'll make a note Do you prefer to be called Richard or Dick?"
"Ric."
"Dick? I'll make a note of that on your file." I spoke aloud as I wrote. "Patient prefers to be called Dick. — Zathyn Priest
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Funny Priest Sayings By Rodney Dangerfield: I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark ... ' — Rodney Dangerfield
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Funny Priest Sayings By Jenny McCarthy: I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest. I don't know, I grew up in such a Catholic family that I kind of liked to test the boundaries a little bit and I think I had fun watching my mom laugh. — Jenny McCarthy
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Funny Priest Sayings By Robert Anton Wilson: Mystics are all a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added cynically, "which Mystics are all a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added cynically, "which is why the church locks them all up in mental hospitals and euphemistically calls these institutions monasteries. — Robert Anton Wilson
Funny Priest Sayings By David Eddings: The priest DID have it coming, though," Lelldorin declared hotly."What priest?""The priest of Chaldan at The priest DID have it coming, though," Lelldorin declared hotly.
"What priest?"
"The priest of Chaldan at that little chapel who wouldn't marry us because Arianna couldn't give him a document proving she had her family's consent. He was very insulting."
"Did you break anything?"
"A few of his teeth is about all
and I stopped hitting him as soon as he agreed to perform the ceremony. — David Eddings
Funny Priest Sayings By Steven Erikson: Save your explanations, I got some questions for you first and you'd better answer them!' Save your explanations, I got some questions for you first and you'd better answer them!' [slurred Hellian.]
'With what?' [Banaschar] sneered. 'Explanations?'
'No. Answers. There's a difference-'
'Really? How? What difference?'
'Explanations are what people use when they need to lie. Y'can always tell those,'cause those don't explain nothing and then they look at you like they just cleared things up when really they did the opposite and they know it and you know it and they know you know and you know they know that you know and they know you and you know them and maybe you go out for a pitcher later but who picks up the tab? That's what I want to know.'
'Right, and answers?'
'Answers is what I get when I ask questions. Answers is when you got no choice. I ask, you tell. I ask again, you tell some more. Then I break your fingers, 'cause I don't like what you're telling me, because those answers don't explain nothing! — Steven Erikson
Funny Priest Sayings By Sam Claflin: When I was in high school, I was a bad singer. I mean, all my When I was in high school, I was a bad singer. I mean, all my early acting was musical theater, and my first ever show was 'Jesus Christ Superstar.' Everyone's familiar with it. I played priest number 3 and sang so out of tune that it's not even funny. — Sam Claflin
Funny Priest Sayings By Robert Stone: There were icons of the Magdalen on the walls and paintings in the Western manner, There were icons of the Magdalen on the walls and paintings in the Western manner, all kitsch, trash. Mary M., Lucas thought, half hypnotized by the chanting in the room beside him; Mary Moe, Jane Doe, the girl from Migdal in Galilee turned hooker in the big city. The original whore with the heart of gold. Used to be a nice Jewish girl, and the next thing you know, she's fucking the buckos of the Tenth Legion Fratensis, fucking the pilgrims who'd made their sacrifice at the Temple and were ready to party, the odd priest and Levite on the sly.
Maybe she was smart and funny. Certainly always on the lookout for the right guy to take her out of the life. Like a lot of whores, she tended towards religion. So along comes Jesus Christ, Mr. Right with a Vengeance, Mr. All Right Now! Fixes on her his hot, crazy eyes and she's all, Anything, I'll do anything. I'll wash your feet with my hair. You don't even have to fuck me. — Robert Stone
Funny Priest Sayings By Michael Stearns: The Evil Enchanter appeared in a cloud of smoke. He waved his arms to fan The Evil Enchanter appeared in a cloud of smoke. He waved his arms to fan away the fumes, and when he quit coughing, he said, "You've come to rescue no one. Now that you're here, you shall marry me." He waved his arms once, and a priest appeared in a cloud of smoke. After everyone quit coughing, he turned to the priest and said, "Marry me!"
The priest said, "But I don't know you."
"No, no, no!" said the Evil Enchanter. "Marry me to the princess!"
"Oh," said the priest. "That's different. — Michael Stearns
Funny Priest Sayings By Cherie Priest: It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just can't resist 'em. Fact is, I think we're just pleased to see a man groomed, bathed, and wearing clothes that fit him. — Cherie Priest
Funny Priest Sayings By Anita Diamant: The older Irene got, the more she swore. I remember when her grandson pooped in The older Irene got, the more she swore. I remember when her grandson pooped in his diaper at his christening, she said, 'Holy shit,' loud enough for everyone to hear. The look on that priest's face! — Anita Diamant