Garry Shandling Famous Quotes & Sayings

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89 Garry Shandling Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Some people think the world will end in 2012. I think we've got until 2014. Some people think the world will end in 2012. I think we've got until 2014. I'm an optimist. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green. I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me. Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are the problem. Don't get me wrong. I think men have their problems just as much as women. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I don't think I'm severely politically active. I care deeply, and I have my strong I don't think I'm severely politically active. I care deeply, and I have my strong personal beliefs. I think America is dancing on thin ice. But I think it's bigger even than a political issue. I wonder about the evolution of the human race and spirit and what our goals and reasons for living are. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I once saw an elaborate landscape in a gallery, drawn in pencil, that took my I once saw an elaborate landscape in a gallery, drawn in pencil, that took my breath away. Then I realized the artist probably didn't have enough confidence to use a pen. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: When I give notes on a script, I say, 'Guys, I may drift, but it's When I give notes on a script, I say, 'Guys, I may drift, but it's part of the process.' So I'm aware that I'm drifting, but I'm grabbing a lot of stuff. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: To be thrown onto the stand-up stage is an experience that you cannot fathom until To be thrown onto the stand-up stage is an experience that you cannot fathom until you're actually there, because there's no place to go, and everyone is looking at you and you can't even see them because of the lights. And yet you have to manage to start talking and be funny on top of it. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81. My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81. — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Judd Apatow: I definitely learned to embrace the quiet moments onstage from Garry Shandling - relaxing and I definitely learned to embrace the quiet moments onstage from Garry Shandling - relaxing and not fighting with the crowd, not raising your voice, not ever trying to win them over. — Judd Apatow
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire. Me, me, me.' You know. 'Help me, put me out.' Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit? — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody." — Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Bill Engvall: I was always the Class Clown and over time became very good at it. I I was always the Class Clown and over time became very good at it. I started doing comedy on stage at the Dallas Comedy Corner where I honed my skills by watching guys like Garry Shandling, Robin Williams, Jay Lena and more. — Bill Engvall
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I have this very abstract idea in my head. I wouldn't even want to call I have this very abstract idea in my head. I wouldn't even want to call it stand-up, because stand-up conjures in one's mind a comedian with a microphone standing onstage under a spotlight telling jokes to an audience. The direction I'm going in is eventually, you won't know if it's a joke or not. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I enjoy 'The Apprentice' and the one that's called 'Take My Life' and the other I enjoy 'The Apprentice' and the one that's called 'Take My Life' and the other one called 'Stop Hitting Me.' — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: That's what we were exploring on 'Larry Sanders' - the human qualities that have brought That's what we were exploring on 'Larry Sanders' - the human qualities that have brought us to where we are now in the world: the addiction to needing more and wanting more and talking more. We were examining the labels put on success - is it successful to be on TV every day, to be famous, to have a paycheck? — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I practice safe sex - I use an airbag. I practice safe sex - I use an airbag. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: 'The Larry Sanders Show,' it's actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at 'The Larry Sanders Show,' it's actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at first. But if that love didn't exist, the darker attitudes would not play. You would have a one-dimensional, cynical show, which I don't think the show was. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Humor is a wonderful way to deal with our suffering because if we can laugh Humor is a wonderful way to deal with our suffering because if we can laugh at our troubles, we can feel better. Thich Nhat Hanh is a special man who has helped millions with their suffering with incredible technique. But he doesn't know real suffering, because he has not dated as much as I have. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Denis Leary: I was working with Peter Tolan, who was my writing partner on those two [Rescue I was working with Peter Tolan, who was my writing partner on those two [Rescue Me and The Job], and he did The Larry Sanders Show with Garry Shandling, and he always said that the second season is better because you know the actors. — Denis Leary
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I've been on a state of high alert since high school. I didn't need 9/11 I've been on a state of high alert since high school. I didn't need 9/11 to remind me that we live on a ball of flame. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. Two women, fine. But I flinch when I think of two Jewish women getting together and having a child because the idea of having two Jewish mothers makes my head explode. I have one; I couldn't handle two. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!" — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right. I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I don't like this reality television, I have to be honest;I think real people should I don't like this reality television, I have to be honest;I think real people should not be on television; It's for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over. I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: My second or third year in the engineering department, I got very frustrated, and I My second or third year in the engineering department, I got very frustrated, and I sat down with myself and had a soul-searching conversation with myself and said, 'What I'd really like to do is see if I can write comedy.' ... I moved to L.A. stone cold. Didn't know anybody; didn't know how to go about it. Really started from scratch. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I had no idea who I was when I started. I was frightened to death I had no idea who I was when I started. I was frightened to death and had no natural performing skills. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I have such poor vision I can date anybody. I have such poor vision I can date anybody. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I like to talk on the cell when I do interviews. That way, I double I like to talk on the cell when I do interviews. That way, I double my chances of getting brain cancer: from the cell phone, and from the questions. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: When I don't have a good time, it's usually because there's a stiffness that stifles When I don't have a good time, it's usually because there's a stiffness that stifles creativity. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Judd Apatow: I started a radio show where I interviewed comics.And I interviewed Leno and Seinfeld and I started a radio show where I interviewed comics.And I interviewed Leno and Seinfeld and John Candy and Father Guido Sarducci and Garry Shandling, all when I was 16.And they kind of told me what to do. — Judd Apatow
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: The art of boxing is seeing spaces and being able to take shots. The hitting The art of boxing is seeing spaces and being able to take shots. The hitting and being hit have to become one. Your reactions have to be so in the moment. There's no time to think. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's what kind of hair you have inside that counts. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Men who betray women also betray other men. Women shouldn't feel so special. Men who betray women also betray other men. Women shouldn't feel so special. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?" — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By David Duchovny: Garry Shandling is someone I've publicly gone gay for, for jokes. Oh and anyone in Garry Shandling is someone I've publicly gone gay for, for jokes. Oh and anyone in the Twilight movies. I don't know any of their names, but all of them. The wolves, the vampires? They're all fantastic. — David Duchovny
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present. I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name? Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name? — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I have spent a lot of time studying the issue of relationships, how I grew I have spent a lot of time studying the issue of relationships, how I grew up, my parents' influence on me. I've talked to a therapist,; I've looked inward spiritually at myself, and what it seems to come down to is that I'm a Sagittarius. Please don't make me reveal more than that. It's tough enough as it is. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Dogs are not people. Be leery of any woman who refers to her dogs as Dogs are not people. Be leery of any woman who refers to her dogs as her 'kids,' because you'll only end up paying for their schooling. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Everyone at a party is uncomfortable. Knowing that makes me more comfortable. Everyone at a party is uncomfortable. Knowing that makes me more comfortable. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think? — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I'd like to do more acting. I'd like to do more acting. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I watch the news, which is its own reality show. I love 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.' I watch the news, which is its own reality show. I love 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.' I love it because it's funny and because I realize that I'm happier than Larry David. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like." — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Dan Harmon: Garry Shandling has always been a pioneer of ... meta entertainment. He's always been a Garry Shandling has always been a pioneer of ... meta entertainment. He's always been a defender of the creative right to use the frame as part of the painting. — Dan Harmon
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much. I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest. I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I've always felt that the truth is in the silence. I've always felt that the truth is in the silence. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I started boxing for exercise, and on the very first day, the trainer got in I started boxing for exercise, and on the very first day, the trainer got in the ring with me and said, 'Whoever controls the breathing in the ring controls the fight.' I immediately passed out. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: My first 'Tonight Show' was just one of those things - I mean this seriously My first 'Tonight Show' was just one of those things - I mean this seriously - a cosmic, meant-to-be coming together of circumstance. You walk out there to do your first 'Tonight Show': Is the audience going to be hot? Are you going to be on fire? It's like an athlete: Are you going to have your moves at a peak? — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I'm proud of Larry Sanders and proud of every single person who went on that I'm proud of Larry Sanders and proud of every single person who went on that journey. It's a very special show to me, and I've learned a lot of lessons from it. I need to find something where I can learn some more lessons, and then I'll do that project. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: I am interested in how human beings react to crisis and conflict. I am interested in how human beings react to crisis and conflict. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Garry Shandling: My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me. My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me. — Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling Sayings By Al Madrigal: I've always liked and appreciated storytellers like Garry Shandling and Bill Cosby - more long-form I've always liked and appreciated storytellers like Garry Shandling and Bill Cosby - more long-form comedy. So starting in San Francisco, watching all these great comics - Patton Oswalt, Dave Chappelle - you get to see them a bunch, and you go, 'Wow, this is where I need to be.' — Al Madrigal