Mitch Famous Quotes & Sayings
100 Mitch Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.
Things happen in American politics in the political center. If the President will meet us in the center, there are things we can accomplish.— Mitch McConnell
Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?— Mitch Hedberg
Sometimes during the night, your father awakened. He rose from his bed, staggered across the room, and found the strength to raise the window sash. He called your mother's name with what little voice he had, and he called yours, too, and your brother, Joe. And he called for Mickey. At that moment, it seemed, his heart was spilling out, all the guilt and regret. Perhaps he felt the light of death approaching. Perhaps he only knew you were all out there somewhere, in the streets beneath his window. He bent over the ledge. The night was chilly. The wind and damp, in his state, were too much. He was dead before dawn.— Mitch Albom
I used to think I knew everything. I was a "smart person" who "got things done," and because of that, the higher I climbed, the more I could look down and scoff at what seemed silly or simple, even religion.— Mitch Albom
But I realized something as I drove home that night: that I am neither better nor smarter, only luckier. And I should be ashamed of thinking I knew everything, because you can know the whole world and still feel lost in it. So many people are in pain-no matter how smart or accomplished-they cry, they yearn, they hurt.But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking, too. Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things:comfort, love, and a peaceful heart.
I got an ant farm; them fellas didn't grow sh*t.— Mitch Hedberg
If you're not a nice person, don't call.— Mitch Leigh
I grew up in Brownsville; most of the kids I grew up with went to jail, not Yale. If they had heard of Yale, they thought it was a lock to pick.— Mitch Leigh
This one commercial said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did, and it was a load off of my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers, but I didn't know what they were!— Mitch Hedberg
All I was afraid of is saying good-bye.— Mitch Albom
They gave up days and weeks of their lives, addicted to someone else's drama— Mitch Albom
Accept who you are; and revel in it.— Mitch Albom
If we're not creating an educated and skilled workforce, there is just no conceivable way that were going to be economically competitive.— Mitch Kapor
With Marguerite, he wanted only time - more and more time - and he was granted it, nighttimes and daytimes and nighttimes again.— Mitch Albom
If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.— Mitch Hedberg
This is the greatest gift God can give you: to understand what happened in your life. To have it explained. It is the peace you have been searching for.— Mitch Albom
This time was different. The tools of this era— Mitch Albom
phones, computers
enabled people to move at a blurring pace. Yet despite all they accomplished, they were never at peace.
My old professor, meanwhile, was stunned by the normalcy of the day around him. Shouldn't the world stop? Don't they know what has happened to me?— Mitch Albom
But the world did not stop, it took no notice at all
Morrie's doctors guessed he had two years left. Morrie knew it was less.
But my old professor had made a profound decision, one he began to construct the day he came out of the doctor's office with a sword hanging over his head. Do I wither up and disappear, or do I make the best of my time left? he had asked himself.
He would not wither. He would not be ashamed of dying.
Instead, he would make death his final project, the center point of his days. Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great value, right? He could be research. A human textbook. Study me in my slow and patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn with me.
Morrie would walk that final bridge between life and death, and narrate the trip.
They fill every waking minute with action, but they are empty. To— Mitch Albom
Take my condition. The things I am supposed to be embarrassed about now - not being able to walk, not being able to wipe my ass, waking up some mornings wanting to cry - there is nothing innately embarrassing or shaming about them. It's the same for women not being thin enough, or men not being rich enough. It's just what our culture would have you believe. Don't believe it.— Mitch Albom
I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.— Mitch Hedberg
That's why it has to be a nonprofit, because a nonprofit is required to take monies it receives and use them for the purposes for which it's chartered by the government. It can't be pocketed.— Mitch Kapor
You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.— Mitch Hedberg
I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong ... Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me ... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.— Mitch Hedberg
Windows Server 2012 can now support: Up to 64 virtual processors per VM (with a maximum of 2,048 virtual processors per host) Up to 1 terabyte (TB) of random access memory (RAM) per VM (with up to 4 TB RAM per host) Virtual hard disks (VHDs) up to 64 TB in size— Mitch Tulloch
When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched, right? Like this?" He made a fist. "Why? Because a baby not knowing any better, wants to grab everything, to say the whole world is mine. But when an old person dies, how does he do so? With his hands open. Why? Because he has learned his lesson." "What lesson?" I asked. He stretched open his empty fingers. "We can take nothing with us.— Mitch Albom
You didn't get it. Sacrifice is a part of life. It's supposed to be. It's not something to regret. It's something to aspire to. Little sacrifices. Big sacrifices.— Mitch Albom
There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness. These things" -he sighed- "these things I so regret in my life. Pride. Vanity. Why do we do the things we do?— Mitch Albom
Morrie Schwartz
Over time, I guess all your teachers find their way into your music, right?— Mitch Albom
I prefer them broken.'— Mitch Albom
'Why is that?' Victor said.
Dor looked at the grain of sand in his fingers.
'Because I am the sinner who created them.
A friend gave me a drug for attention deficit disorder, because he's afflicted, but I'm not. So what happened to me is I suddenly had an extra-long attention span. People would tell me a story, and it would end, and I'd get all mad. "Come on, man, there has to be more to that story."— Mitch Hedberg
People need doorways to explore universal religious and ethical ideas.— Mitch Horowitz
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.— Mitch Hedberg
Snake eyes is a gambling term, and an animal term, too.— Mitch Hedberg
Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!— Mitch Hedberg
I didn't want to forget him. Maybe I didn't want him to forget me.— Mitch Albom
We are at a point in the video game industry that the industry is hollowed out. It is out of touch with the zeitgeist, creating sequels and formulaic games over and over again. The energy comes from the indies.— Mitch Lasky
The Yankees would be a much better team if they signed a proven closer instead of Tanaka.— Mitch Williams
Gotta be a full moon bringing out the crazy," Mitch said. "Maybe the crazy just follows you," Aidan suggested. In turn, Mitch suggested Aidan was number one. With his middle finger.— Jill Shalvis
The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction? ... Offering others what you have to give.— Mitch Albom
America is ready to elect its first African American President, especially one with light-skin and and no Negro dialect.— Mitch McConnell
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.— Mitch Hedberg
Everyone knows they're going to die, but nobody believes it ... So we kid ourselves about death ... But there's a better approach. To know you're going to dies, and to be prepared for it at any time ... Do what the Buddhists do ... ask, Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?— Mitch Albom
The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.— Mitch McConnell
I see your face in every flower, your eyes in stars above, it's just the thought of you, the very thought of you, my love ...— Mitch Albom
No one is ever beyond redemption, if they choose to walk that path.— Mitch Rowland
On-base percentage really doesn't mean that much.— Mitch Williams
She had be by the balls - literally had her fingers wrapped around my balls! Her hand fit them good, Mitch!" I can hear desire in his voice. "At times it was a little painful, I have to admit, but my balls were made to fit in her palm. Mitch, "he says, all too seriously, "I have found the keeper of my balls, Mitch. I'm ready to hand them over.— Jacquelyn Ayres
The Scripture was given to us to teach and to uplift. To provide a path to God. Occasionally a person fixates on a certain portion, a portion that many of us would consider narrative history— Vannetta Chapman
such as the book of Daniel. It is a record of Daniel's experience in exile, in the court of Babylon. We can see God's sovereignty over kings, in this case Nebuchadnezzar." Tate jingled the change in his pocket, unsure where Mitch was headed. "In addition to the historical aspects, there are spiritual lessons to be found within this portion of the Scripture
God's faithfulness to his people and his omnipotence." "But ... " "But when someone fixates on one portion versus the Scripture as a whole, confusion sets in. They pick and choose certain words and use them to justify almost any action." Tate hesitated, then asked, "Even murder?" "Especially murder.
They were there, or would be there, because of the simple, mundane things Eddie had done in his life, the accidents he had prevented, the rides he had kept safe, the unnoticed turns he had affected every day.— Mitch Albom
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.— Mitch Hedberg
Everyone joins a band in this life. One way or another, the band breaks up.— Mitch Albom
Senator Mitch McConnell, the Republican leader in the Senate, said that Republicans' number one priority was the defeat of President Obama.— Steny Hoyer
The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.— Mitch Albom
Both VisiCalc and MultiPlan were available when the IBM PC shipped in October 1981. 1-2-3 didn't hit the market until January 1983.— Mitch Kapor
You were never alone.— Mitch Albom
It's a violent galaxy filled with cutthroat pirates, cyber-mercenaries and star messiahs. If peace comes, it will have to steal in like a thief.— Mitch Michaelson
I don't want to have my face on the cover of a Wheaties box. I wanna have my face on the cover of a Rice Krispies box. "Snap, Krackle, Mitch and Pop"!— Mitch Hedberg
I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.— Mitch Hedberg
All great enterprises have a pearl of faith at their core, and this must be ours: that Americans are still a people born to liberty. That they retain the capacity for self-government. That, addressed as free-born, autonomous men and women of God-given dignity, they will rise yet again to drive back a mortal enemy.— Mitch Daniels
Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won't hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, "All right, it's just fear, I don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is".— Mitch Albom
A team championship doesn't happen because three people score 10s, it happens because all the guys score well. In my opinion, everyone deserved 10s, we're all 10s on this team.— Mitch Gaylord
Mara, baby, never believed this shit either but now I know you were made for me. So, seein' as that's true, it goes the other way too.— Kristen Ashley
Tell me about your family, I said. And so she did. I listened intently as my mother went through each branch of the tree. Years later, after the funeral, Maria had asked me questions about the family - who was related to whom - and I struggled. I couldn't remember. A big chunk of our history had been buried with my mother. You should never let your past disappear that way.— Mitch Albom
A eulogy is no more than a summation of memories, and we will never forget you, because we cannot forget you, because we will miss you every day. To imagine a world without you in it is to imagine a world with a little less God in it, and yet, because God is not a diminishing resource, I cannot believe that.— Mitch Albom
Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, 'Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person i want to be? Is today the day I die?— Mitch Albom
If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.— Mitch Hedberg
So many times, I had chosen not to be with her. Too busy. Too tires. Don't feel like dealing with it. Church? No thanks. Sinner? Sorry. Come down to visit? Can't do it, maybe next week.— Mitch Albom
Giving to other people makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. Not what I look like in the mirror. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad ...— Mitch Albom
I thought I'd go to a craft fair, and there would be a jar of jellybeans there - "Guess how many jellybeans are in this jar, and win a prize". Aw, come on, man, let just me have some. I'll tell you what, guess how many jellybeans I want! If you guessed a handful, you are right.— Mitch Hedberg
He wondered how it was fair that your dying should depend so much on when you were born.— Mitch Albom
Never feel you are alone as someone is always by your side.— Mitch Kynock
We all know how to be a child.— Mitch Albom
Failing to continue to support the public higher-ed system in California will have devastating long-term consequences.— Mitch Kapor
Why are there no "during" pictures?— Mitch Hedberg
One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes.— Mitch Hedberg
Stay with me."— Mitch Albom
"Forever.
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.— Mitch Hedberg
And a six-week cap on the relationship was perfect. He could enjoy the getting-to-know-you sex and the know-you-well-enough-to-push-the-right-buttons sex, but be gone before the I'm-falling-in-love-with-you-Mitch sex.— Shannon Stacey
Taffy. He thinks about taffy. He thinks it would take his teeth out now, but he would eat it anyhow, if it meant eating it with her.— Mitch Albom
To call somebody a Jewish composer is obviously redundant.— Mitch Leigh
I'm in love with hope.— Mitch Albom
I bought myself a parrot, but it did not say "I'm hungry", and so it died.— Mitch Hedberg
It is far more comforting to think God listened and said no, than to think that nobody's out there.— Mitch Albom
As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to pretend that I got there accidentally. "How the hell did I get up here? I guess I have to slide down. Whee!" That's what you say when you're having fun. You refer to yourself and some other people.— Mitch Hedberg
Don't lose yourself... inside yourself...— Mitch Albom
I don't mean you disregard every rule of your community. I don't go around naked, for example. I don't run through red lights. The little things, I can obey. But the big things- how we think, what we value- those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone-or any society- determine those for you. ' -Morrie Schwartz— Mitch Albom
How can I be envious of where you are when I've been there myself?— Mitch Albom
Dor came from a time before the written word, a time— Mitch Albom
when if you wished to speak with someone, you walked to see them. This time was different. The tools of
this era - phones, computers - enabled people to move at a blurring pace. Yet despite all they
accomplished, they were never at peace. They constantly checked their devices to see what time it was
the very thing Dor had tried to determine once with a stick, a stone, and a shadow.
I wanted to play around with the format, really tear it to pieces and shake it up. For example, if Mitch saves someone from drowning, and that person then goes out and releases a virus that kills a million people. Imagine the moral implications of that.— David Hasselhoff
Eighty-five percent of us in this country, by the way, live in coastal areas, so again, Katrina and Rita were not just about New Orleans. There were a lot of lessons that the nation can learn from us if they just pay attention to the things that are going on down here.— Mitch Landrieu
How does a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's magical. There must be some sesame seed glue out there. Either that or they're adhesive on one side. Peel off the backing, place it on the bun.— Mitch Hedberg
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.— Mitch Hedberg
The only episode which was completely my idea was for Mitch Pileggi, the actor who portrays Skinner, the Assistant Director of the FBI. He appears often in the series, but only for a few scenes. You know virtually nothing about him. I wanted him to have an episode that was his alone, so I wrote Avatar for him. He even has a scene that's pretty ... hot [knowing smile]. He was very happy.— David Duchovny
Reversing the escalation of health care costs is going to need more than legislation, yet it can be done without imposing rationing, as critics of reform fear.— Mitch Kapor
I tried to freshen up a room, so I held a Certs in front of a fan.— Mitch Hedberg
It's a shame that the president doesn't embrace the effort to reduce spending. None of us like using situations like the sequester or the debt ceiling or the operation of government to try to engage the president to deal with this.— Mitch McConnell
Celebrity was fun, and I had a good time.— Mitch Gaylord
Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creatures endures. A fear of time running out.— Mitch Albom
Mara," his arms gave me a squeeze, "baby, you've got to live in the now. Not in your head. Not controlled by your fears. You can't live for what might happen five months in the future. You got issues you gotta face today. You gotta deal with them now. You got two kids who count on you and their lives aren't gonna go perfect every day because you weigh every decision you make and tread cautiously. Those options are no longer available to you. You're gonna have to live day to day and make decisions on the fly. And I'm tellin' you I'm here to help. You need it and they need it. Are you honestly gonna say no?— Kristen Ashley
You really loved her?'— Mitch Albom
'I would have given my life.'
'Would you have taken it?'
'No, child,' he said.
'That is not ours to do.
