Sexual Abuse Survivors Famous Quotes & Sayings

57 Sexual Abuse Survivors Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

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What most people call spontaneous recall usually involves memories that have been denied, not repressed. The survivor has always been aware that the sexual abuse happened, but he or she has studiously avoided thinking about it. A catalyst sets the memory process in motion, but the essential factor in the memory surfacing is the readiness of the survivor to deal with the reality of abuse.Renee Fredrickson Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Renee Fredrickson: What most people call spontaneous recall usually involves memories that have been denied, not repressed.
During sexual abuse, children feel and incorporate the rage, pain, shame, and sense of perversion that the perpetrator is projecting. They take these feelings into the very core of themselves, and they are badly traumatized by the emotions surrounding the assault, as well as by the assault itself.Renee Fredrickson Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Renee Fredrickson: During sexual abuse, children feel and incorporate the rage, pain, shame, and sense of perversion
Sometimes buried memories of abuse emerge spontaneously. A triggering event or catalyst starts the memories flowing. The survivor then experiences the memories as a barrage of images about the abuse and related details. Memories that are retrieved in this manner are relatively easy to understand and believe because the person remembering is so flooded with coherent, consistent information.Renee Fredrickson Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Renee Fredrickson: Sometimes buried memories of abuse emerge spontaneously. A triggering event or catalyst starts the memories
Sometimes sex is the price that is exacted from her for warmth and attention. And if these sometimes wonderful moments of closeness must coexist with terrifying, confusing moments of abuse, she learns to see the two as parts of the same experience. She grows to think she wanted the incest itself. Because they've become enmeshed, she doesn't know that it was love she wanted, not sex.E. Sue Blume Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By E. Sue Blume: Sometimes sex is the price that is exacted from her for warmth and attention. And
Abuse is a parasite that feeds off hate and shame, growing in size and strength with silence.Nikki Sex Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Nikki Sex: Abuse is a parasite that feeds off hate and shame, growing in size and strength
In addition to reaching out for help, you will also need to reach within yourself. Your biggest ally will be your emotions. Through them, you will learn more about what really happened to you, how the abuse affected you, and what you need to do in order to heal. Your emotions will enable you to reclaim the self you long ago hid away.Beverly Engel Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Beverly Engel: In addition to reaching out for help, you will also need to reach within yourself.
..but I know my commitment to change and transformation is stronger than my commitment to self-destruction. In these moments, the need to rewrite the familiarity of violent reactions and hold oneself accountable becomes increasingly important. Patriarchy, misogyny, and sexism have a way of permeating all of us to our core. It is essential that we are all personally committed to not perpetuating further abuse upon each other's bodies.Jennifer Patterson Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Jennifer Patterson: ..but I know my commitment to change and transformation is stronger than my commitment to
Incest is almost always a devastating experience for
the victim.
Susan Forward Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Susan Forward: Incest is almost always a devastating experience forthe victim.
Many survivors have such profound deficiencies in self-protection that they can barely imagine themselves in a position of agency or choice. The idea of saying no to the emotional demands of a parent, spouse, lover or authority figure may be practically inconceivable. Thus, it is not uncommon to find adult survivors who continue to minister to the needs of those who once abused them and who continue to permit major intrusions without boundaries or limits. Adult survivors may nurse their abusers in illness, defend them in adversity, and even, in extreme cases, continue to submit to their sexual demands.Judith Lewis Herman Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Judith Lewis Herman: Many survivors have such profound deficiencies in self-protection that they can barely imagine themselves in
People may not realize the damage that they are doing by placing the blame on the victim ~ but that doesn't lessen the damage that they cause by doing it.Darlene Ouimet Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Darlene Ouimet: People may not realize the damage that they are doing by placing the blame on
Fearing the unknown within myself has kept me crouching in a corner. I look to see who I am and discover much that is worthy.Maureen Brady Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Maureen Brady: Fearing the unknown within myself has kept me crouching in a corner. I look to
Most survivors tend to be the care-giver rather than the care-receiver. We tend to be good at being spouses and parents, anticipating our loved ones needs, going the second mile when it came to self sacrifice. But seldom can we ask our loved ones to give to us. We fool ourselves into believing we don't need much.Beverly Engel Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Beverly Engel: Most survivors tend to be the care-giver rather than the care-receiver. We tend to be
If I were free, as a physician, to say what I pleased, I would tell every abused person I see that there is an entire world out there that is nothing like the one you're living. Go discover it.C. Kennedy Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By C. Kennedy: If I were free, as a physician, to say what I pleased, I would tell
My mom called Grandma today and told her we would no longer be attending family parties. My mom told her we have had enough of being blamed for something Brian did and everyone brushing it off like it was no big deal.Erin Merryn Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Erin Merryn: My mom called Grandma today and told her we would no longer be attending family
The mental health system is filled with survivors of prolonged, repeated childhood trauma. This is true even though most people who have been abused in childhood never come to psychiatric attention. To the extent that these people recover, they do so on their own.[21] While only a small minority of survivors, usually those with the most severe abuse histories, eventually become psychiatric patients, many or even most psychiatric patients are survivors of childhood abuse.[22] The data on this point are beyond contention. On careful questioning, 50-60 percent of psychiatric inpatients and 40-60 percent of outpatients report childhood histories of physical or sexual abuse or both.[23] In one study of psychiatric emergency room patients, 70 percent had abuse histories.[24] Thus abuse in childhood appears to be one of the main factors that lead a person to seek psychiatric treatment as an adult.[25]Judith Lewis Herman Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Judith Lewis Herman: The mental health system is filled with survivors of prolonged, repeated childhood trauma. This is
Healing isn't just about pain. It's about learning to love yourself. As you move from feeling like a victim to being a proud survivor, you will have glimmers of hope, pride and satisfaction. Those are natural by-products of healing.Ellen Bass Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Ellen Bass: Healing isn't just about pain. It's about learning to love yourself. As you move from
...there is a particular focus of the problem faced only by men. It arises from our culture providing no room for a man as victim.Mike Lew Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Mike Lew: ...there is a particular focus of the problem faced only by men. It arises from
Ritualised child sexual abuse is about abuse of power, control and secrecy. Ten years ago many people found it difficult to believe that fathers actually raped their children, yet survivors of such abuses spoke out and eventually began to be listened to and believed. Ritual abuse survivors, when they try to speak out about their experiences, face denial and disbelief from society and often fear for their lives from the abusers.Laurie Matthew Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Laurie Matthew: Ritualised child sexual abuse is about abuse of power, control and secrecy. Ten years ago
Survivors are damaged to different degrees by their experiences. This does not depend on what happened physically. A Survivor who has been raped will not necessarily be more damaged than a Survivor who has been touched. The degree of damage depend on the degree of traumatic sexualization, stigmatization, betrayal and powerlessness, the child has experienced. This in turn depends on a number of factors such as:
* who the abuser was;
* how many abusers were involved;
* if the abuser was same-sex or opposite sex;
* what took place;
* what was said;
* how long the abuse went on for;
* How the child felt and how she interpreted what was happening;
* if the child was otherwise happy and supported;
* how other people reacted to the disclosure or discovery of the abuse;
* how old the child was
Carolyn Ainscough Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Carolyn Ainscough: Survivors are damaged to different degrees by their experiences. This does not depend on what
When I first started to remember specific memories of abuse, I felt like I had a storm cloud over me for about two or three days beforehand. When the memory finally surfaced, I felt like I was alone in a dark cave. I stayed in bed just thinking and crying and eating chocolate. I wrote in my healing journal and talked it out with a friend. I examined what I thought and how I felt and cried some more. It was agonizing. The more issues I faced, the stronger I got. It wasn't a pleasant process, but I knew it would be over in a few days and I would feel alive again. With each memory, I recovered faster and I had longer and longer breaks in between them. Facing them made me stronger. I was able to see more and more of the truth without it overwhelming me. Even though the memories increased in intensity, it was easier to deal with them.Christina Enevoldsen Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Christina Enevoldsen: When I first started to remember specific memories of abuse, I felt like I had
The survivor movements were also challenging the notion of a dysfunctional family as the cause and culture of abuse, rather than being one of the many places where abuse nested. This notion, which in the 1990s and early 1980s was the dominant understanding of professionals characterised the sex abuser as a pathetic person who had been denied sex and warmth by his wife, who in turn denied warmth to her daughters. Out of this dysfunctional triad grew the far-too-cosy incest dyad. Simply diagnosed, relying on the signs: alcoholic father, cold distant mother, provocative daughter. Simply resolved, because everyone would want to stop, to return to the functioning family where mum and dad had sex and daughter concentrated on her exams. Professionals really believed for a while that sex offenders would want to stop what they were doing. They thought if abuse were decriminalised, abusers would seek help. The survivors knew different. P5Beatrix Campbell Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Beatrix Campbell: The survivor movements were also challenging the notion of a dysfunctional family as the cause
I sometimes continue to see myself in split ways; it causes me trouble and contributes to a lack of satisfaction with myself.Maureen Brady Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Maureen Brady: I sometimes continue to see myself in split ways; it causes me trouble and contributes
Another question I am frequently asked is, "What do you mean by recovery?" It has taken me a while to answer that one. I had been depending on other people's definitions of recovery until I developed one that worked for me (just as you must come to one that makes sense for you.) Mine is simple. For me, it is about freedom.
Recovery is the freedom to make choices in your life that aren't determined by the abuse.
The specific choices will be different for each of you; the freedom to choose is your birthright.
Mike Lew Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Mike Lew: Another question I am frequently asked is, "What do you mean by recovery?" It has
Maternal absence, in one form or another, is always found in the background of the incest romance. Womens literature on incest generally treats the theme of maternal absence tragically. Mens literature trivializes it or treats it comically. And clinical literature tends to treat it judgmentally.Judith Lewis Herman Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Judith Lewis Herman: Maternal absence, in one form or another, is always found in the background of the
In a series of three studies, the offenders who claimed they were abused as a child were 67 percent, 65 percent, and 61 percent without the threat of a polygraph. With polygraph (and conditional immunity), the offenders who claimed they were abused as children were 29 percent, 32 percent, and 30 percent, respectively. The polygraph groups reported approximately half the amount of victimization as children as the nonpolygraph groups did.
Nonetheless, the notion that most offenders were victims has spread throughout the field of sexual abuse and is strangely comforting for most professionals.
Anna C. Salter Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Anna C. Salter: In a series of three studies, the offenders who claimed they were abused as a
As you recover, you will find yourself letting go of many of your negative beliefs. You will discover that many of the so-called truths you were raised with and forced to believe are not truths at all. With this perspective, you will come to see, for example, that the names you were called as a child are simply not true. You are not 'stupid,' 'lazy,' 'ugly,' or a 'liar'. You can discover just who you really are. You can let go of your pretenses and masks and discover who the real person is underneath.Beverly Engel Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Beverly Engel: As you recover, you will find yourself letting go of many of your negative beliefs.
So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can say: This did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault & responsibility of the adult. I was - and am - innocent. The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura DavisEllen Bass Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Ellen Bass: So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important
The framing of women's abuse narratives as quasi-legal testimony encourages the public, as interpreters, to take the stance of cross-examiners who categorize forgetting as memory failure and insist on completeness and consistency of memory detail through all repeated tellings. The condensed, summarized, or fragmentary nature of abuse memories will rarely withstand this aggressive testing. Few people's memories can.Sue Campbell Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Sue Campbell: The framing of women's abuse narratives as quasi-legal testimony encourages the public, as interpreters, to
The healing process is best described as a spiral. Survivors go through the stages once, sometimes many times; sometimes in one order, sometimes in another. Each time they hit a stage again, they move up the spiral: they can integrate new information and a broader range of feelings, utilize more resources, take better care of themselves, and make deeper changes. Allies in Healing by Laura DavisLaura Hough Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Laura Hough: The healing process is best described as a spiral. Survivors go through the stages once,
To heal from child sexual abuse you must believe that you were a victim, that the abuse really did take place. This is often difficult for survivors. When you've spent your life denying the reality of your abuse, when you don't want it to be true, or when your family repeatedly calls you crazy or a liar, it can be hard to remain firm in the knowledge that you were abused.Ellen Bass Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Ellen Bass: To heal from child sexual abuse you must believe that you were a victim, that
As survivors, we've been conditioned to be victims sexually. Many of us have never learned to say no or to set limits on our sexual activities ... To heal, it's important that we take control, that we make active choices concerning if, when, and how we want to explore sexuality. Especially in the beginning, you need to put your own needs about sex ahead of anyone else's.Ellen Bass Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Ellen Bass: As survivors, we've been conditioned to be victims sexually. Many of us have never learned
Many Survivors blame themselves for the abuse and continue to feel responsible and guilty for anything bad that happens to them or to other people they know. Survivors often feel bad about themselves and different from other people. They therefore isolate themselves from other people and avoid making close friendships.Carolyn Ainscough Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Carolyn Ainscough: Many Survivors blame themselves for the abuse and continue to feel responsible and guilty for
Many survivors insist they're not courageous: 'If I were courageous I would have stopped the abuse.' 'If I were courageous, I wouldn't be scared'... Most of us have it mixed up. You don't start with courage and then face fear. You become courageous because you face your fear.Laura Davis Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Laura Davis: Many survivors insist they're not courageous: 'If I were courageous I would have stopped the
Beyond telling and getting away however there are an awful lot of myths out there about how to move on or get justice. People may tell you to report the crime or confront you abuser- or even to forgive him. I don't necessarily advocate any of these things. I think counseling of some kind can be enormously useful, but the bottom line is that the main way to heal is to find people who will support you, to talk about what happened, and to ground yourself in the reality that the abuse was not your fault, that you have nothing to be ashamed of, and that you deserve great love and happiness in your life.Patti Feuereisen Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Patti Feuereisen: Beyond telling and getting away however there are an awful lot of myths out there
As part of the healing process, change your perception of yourself from "victim" to that of "advocate" and "survivor.Don Easton Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Don Easton: As part of the healing process, change your perception of yourself from "victim" to that
An important documentary that sheds light on one of the most terrifying realities in the U.S. today - the commercial sexual exploitation of young girls. TRICKED is a comprehensive portrait of all the players in this human rights abuse: survivors, traffickers, johns and cops. Everyone should see this film.Rachel Lloyd Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Rachel Lloyd: An important documentary that sheds light on one of the most terrifying realities in the
You're too sensitive' victims of sexual abuse are told over and over by those whose reality depends on being insensitive. Most adults who have been in the victim role cringe when anyone tells them they are sensitive. In fact, sensitivity is a lovely trait and one to be cherished in any human being.Renee Fredrickson Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Renee Fredrickson: You're too sensitive' victims of sexual abuse are told over and over by those whose
By opening the door to my life, it is my hope and mission to shed light on the hidden wounds of abuse, to end the stigma and shame associated with abuse, and to show survivors true courage, strength, inspiration, and determination.Erin Merryn Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Erin Merryn: By opening the door to my life, it is my hope and mission to shed
To survivors of sexual abuse, for bullying your demons in any manner you choose, and for accepting only the definition of therapy that works for you. You have the right to remember. To voice it. To be pissed off about it. Above all, to be proud. You've outlasted your scars and can teach the lesson on heroism.Pam Godwin Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Pam Godwin: To survivors of sexual abuse, for bullying your demons in any manner you choose, and
Some Survivors get angry at having to work at recovering from sexual abuse. They feel that it is unfair. They suffered all their life because of what someone else did to them: why do they have to suffer any more pain? This anger of "having" to do something is similar to the anger they felt at "having" to put up with the abuse.Beverly Engel Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Beverly Engel: Some Survivors get angry at having to work at recovering from sexual abuse. They feel
I'm left with Haymitch in the rubble, wondering if Finnick's fate would have one day been mine. Why not? Snow could have gotten a really good price for the girl on fire.Suzanne Collins Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Suzanne Collins: I'm left with Haymitch in the rubble, wondering if Finnick's fate would have one day
You can avoid the issues from abuse for only so long. Sooner or later, the problems in your life cause you to either face it or go deeper into denial. Most of you will eventually be forced into admitting that it is indeed the sexual abuse that is the root of your problems. Even then, the tendency will be to 'forgive and forget' in the belief that by doing so the pain will be assuaged.Beverly Engel Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Beverly Engel: You can avoid the issues from abuse for only so long. Sooner or later, the
To my abusers, the act of setting appropriate boundaries was viewed as hostile aggression. They believed that I was denying them something that belonged to them if I resisted. I was a resource to be exploited for their personal use. I was property who didn't have any rights over my time, my energy, my body, or my possessions. I viewed myself that way too. I believed that they were justified in being angry with me for saying no but I wasn't justified in being angry with them for abusing me.Christina Enevoldsen Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Christina Enevoldsen: To my abusers, the act of setting appropriate boundaries was viewed as hostile aggression. They
Always know there are friends somewhere rooting for you. There are people you don't know, always praying for you and lifting you before God. - Jenee, from "To the Survivors".Robert Uttaro Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Robert Uttaro: Always know there are friends somewhere rooting for you. There are people you don't know,
Like Jocelyn, Survivors often think: * That's just the way I am
* I'm not lovable, that's why I keep having disastrous relationships
* I'm not very clever, that's why I didn't do well at school
* I'm a loner
* I'm a weak person
* I'm not very nice
* I was a difficult child
Many survivors find it difficult to accept that being sexually abused as a child can continue to affect them many years later. It may seem too fantastic, or too frightening an idea to believe.
David Finkelhor, an American researcher, has tried to explain how sexual abuse affects a child and leads to long-term problems. He suggests four ways in which childhood sexual abuse causes problems:
1 Traumatic Sexualization
2 Stigmatization
3 Betrayal
4 Powerlessness
Carolyn Ainscough Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Carolyn Ainscough: Like Jocelyn, Survivors often think: * That's just the way I am * I'm not
To hold traumatic reality in consciousness requires a social context that affirms and protects the victim and that joins the victim and witness in a common alliance. For the individual victim, this social context is created by relationships with friends, lovers, and family. For the larger society, the social context is created by political movements that give voice to the disempowered.Judith Lewis Herman Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Judith Lewis Herman: To hold traumatic reality in consciousness requires a social context that affirms and protects the
Sexual abuse is also a secret crime, one that usually has no witness. Shame and secrecy keep a child from talking to siblings about the abuse, even if all the children in a family are being sexually assaulted. In contrast, if a child is physically or emotionally abused, the abuse is likely to occur in front of the other children in the family, at least some of the time. The physical and emotional abuse becomes part of the family's explicit history. Sexual abuse does not.Renee Fredrickson Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Renee Fredrickson: Sexual abuse is also a secret crime, one that usually has no witness. Shame and
Coming to terms with incest is not easy. Learning to be a survivor, not a victim, gives new meaning to lifeLynette Gould Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Lynette Gould: Coming to terms with incest is not easy. Learning to be a survivor, not a
Sexual abuse injects poisonous lies into its victims' hearts and minds. "You're not worthy" is one of them.Carolyn Byers Ruch Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Carolyn Byers Ruch: Sexual abuse injects poisonous lies into its victims' hearts and minds. "You're not worthy" is
I am filled with truth at my center where I once held shame.Maureen Brady Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Maureen Brady: I am filled with truth at my center where I once held shame.
I look upon the gift of my life as a wondrous journey.Maureen Brady Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Maureen Brady: I look upon the gift of my life as a wondrous journey.
When we first begin to take power more directly, after long having kept our relationship to it underground...it is natural that we experience anxiety, even guilt, at putting ourselves first. These feeling let us know we are taking action; they do not need to stop us.Maureen Brady Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Maureen Brady: When we first begin to take power more directly, after long having kept our relationship
I think I just said it, but I think it's worth repeating. They gave me hope that there is good in the world out there. There really is. It really does exist. Regardless of how bad things can be, and how down on your luck you can be, or how bad your trust is broken when it comes to warming up to people and all that stuff, I know that there's people out there that genuinely wanna help. Putting yourself in that position is a huge step, and it's a very risky and fragile step, but it's also a step that needs to be taken because there is help. And you can get through something like this. You really can. - Jim, from To the SurvivorsRobert Uttaro Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Robert Uttaro: I think I just said it, but I think it's worth repeating. They gave me
Always remember that what was done to you has nothing to do with YOU. It all has to do with a sick perverted abuser that wants/wanted power- You are not at fault and you were/are a target- but it is not because of who you are that you were/ are abused. You are worthy, beautiful, kind, smart and deserving of love, care, passion, and nurturing! xo dr. pPatti Feuereisen Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Patti Feuereisen: Always remember that what was done to you has nothing to do with YOU. It
Most of our informants [incest survivors] remembered their mothers as weak and powerless, finding their only dignity in martyrdom.Judith Lewis Herman Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Judith Lewis Herman: Most of our informants [incest survivors] remembered their mothers as weak and powerless, finding their
Don't judge yourself by what others did to you.C. Kennedy Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By C. Kennedy: Don't judge yourself by what others did to you.
I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. Instead I am still running from Brian. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams.Erin Merryn Sexual Abuse Survivors Sayings By Erin Merryn: I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. Instead I