You Are What You Eat Funny Famous Quotes & Sayings

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45 You Are What You Eat Funny Famous Sayings, Quotes and Quotation.

You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Abigail Roux: Obsessive compulsive" Nikolaus mumble in amusement. "I would rather eat a grenade than make a Obsessive compulsive" Nikolaus mumble in amusement.
"I would rather eat a grenade than make a line with two different colors!" Remy responded in a pained voice as he pointed at the pad of paper. Thiago snickered as he continued to torment the Cajun with his blue pen.
Speaking of grenades, though ... Brandt had a timing device around here somewhere. What had he done with it? — Abigail Roux
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Tristi Pinkston: What?""Nothing." He laughed."You were really hungry.""I don't need to defend my eating to anyone.And just What?"
"Nothing." He laughed."You were really hungry."
"I don't need to defend my eating to anyone.And just so you know,when I'm done with this,I plan to eat three whole cookies."
"Whoa." He held up his hands."Now you're pulling out the big guns."
"I don't mess around. — Tristi Pinkston
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Rachael Wade: Oooohhhh, you're one of those kids," Whitney said, suddenly cracking up."What in the hell is Oooohhhh, you're one of those kids," Whitney said, suddenly cracking up.
"What in the hell is so damn funny? One of what kids?"
"You had a horrible high school experience, didn't you?"
"High school is where demons go to eat little children."
"Carter!" She erupted into body-shaking laughter, rolling from left to right. "Oh my God, you are too much. This isn't high school anymore!"
"Um, hello, have you seen the movie Carrie? — Rachael Wade
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Mitch Hedberg: You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling out names, "DuFresnes, party of two." They say again, "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll just go to the next name, "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! "Bush, search party of three!" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes! — Mitch Hedberg
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Clay Griffith: Charlotte." Kate attempted to distract the child from her endless questions and held up the Charlotte." Kate attempted to distract the child from her endless questions and held up the glass tube. "This is wulfsyl. I can't be sure it's correct."
The girl looked at Kate with excitement, then asked hopefully, "Will it stop me from eating someone?"
Kate looked uncomfortable. "We believe that if you take it now, you will n ever have to eat someone."
"But what if I do?"
"Eat Malcolm," Simon suggested. — Clay Griffith
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Rick Riordan: Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."Grover Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And ... " Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt. — Rick Riordan
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Larry The Cable Guy: Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not eat." Do they really need that stuff in them boots? Is there really some dude opening a pair of boots goin', "Boy, look at them boots. What the hell? I better eat that. I don't know what the hell that is." — Larry The Cable Guy
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Aravind Adiga: O, I do read Indian novels sometimes. But you know, Ms Rupinder, what we Indians O, I do read Indian novels sometimes. But you know, Ms Rupinder, what we Indians want in literature, at least the kind written in English, is not literature at all, but flattery. We want to see ourselves depicted as soulful, sensitive, profound, valorous, wounded, tolerant and funny beings. All that Jhumpa Lahiri stuff. But the truth is, we are absolutely nothing of that kind. What are we, then, Ms Rupinder? We are animals of the jungle, who will eat our neighbour's children in five minutes, and our own in ten. Keep this in mind before you do any business in this country. — Aravind Adiga
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Michele Jaffe: Are you wearing space pants?" Miranda asked him."What?"How did it end? oh, right. "Because your Are you wearing space pants?" Miranda asked him.
"What?"
How did it end? oh, right. "Because your butt is fine."
He gazed at her in that way he had like he was measuring her for straitjacket. "I think-" he started, then stopped and seemed to be having trouble talking. Cleared his throat three times before saying, "I think the line is 'because your butt is out of this world."
"Oh. That makes a lot more sense. I can see that. See, I read this book about how to get guys to like you and they said it was a line that never failed but i got interrupted in the middle and the line before it was about china-not the country, the kind you eat off of-and that is where the fine part was but i must have gotten them confused. He just kept staring at her. — Michele Jaffe
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Judy Blundell: But while I'd be their daughter, while I'd eat the roast and come home from But while I'd be their daughter, while I'd eat the roast and come home from dates and wash the dishes, I would also be myself. I would love my mother, but I'd never want to be her again. I would never be what someone else wanted me to be. I would never laugh at a joke I didn't think was funny. I would never tell another lie. I would be the truth-teller, starting today. That would be tough.
But I was tougher. — Judy Blundell
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Mark A. Cooper: So Jason, in England, do you eat these 'Farmer burgers?'" Wong Tong asked."Farmer burgers? I So Jason, in England, do you eat these 'Farmer burgers?'" Wong Tong asked.
"Farmer burgers? I don't know what they are?"
"Maybe I have the name wrong. I remember the name from the song," Wong Tong explained.
"What song?" Jason asked.
"You know the 'E, I, E, I, O' song."
'E, I, E, I, O' song?
Jason started to roar with laughter. He tried to speak but was laughing, much to the annoyance of Wong Tong. He held his chest, laughing still hurt his ribs.
"You mean the 'Old Macdonald had a farm' song. You mean Macdonald's burgers," he said, laughing. "Yes, I have had them. They're good. — Mark A. Cooper
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Michelle Hodkin: I pointed to a low bowl filled with what purported to be stew, but then I pointed to a low bowl filled with what purported to be stew, but then Noah said, "Are you going
to point, or are you going to eat?"
"I just like to know what I'm putting in my mouth before I swallow."
Noah arched an eyebrow, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. — Michelle Hodkin
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Thea Harrison: I used to eat people, you know." If he meant to shock her out of I used to eat people, you know."
If he meant to shock her out of crying, he succeeded. A snort burst out of her. "That's awful," she said. Her nose was clogged. "I mean it, that's awful. It's not funny. I'm not laughing."
He sighed. "It was a long time ago. Thousands of years. Once I really was the beast the Elves call me."
She closed her eyes, took a deep, shuddering breath and rubbed her fingers along the seam of his T-shirt. "What made you stop?"
"I had a conversation with somebody. It was an epiphany." His voice was rueful.He rocked her. "From that point on I swore I would never eat something that could talk."
"Hey, that's kind of your version of turning vegetarian, isn't it? — Thea Harrison
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You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Mohsin Hamid: But you can always justify killing animals on the grounds that you want to eat But you can always justify killing animals on the grounds that you want to eat them, or wear them, or that they smell bad, look funny, bother you, threaten you, and have the bad luck of being in your way. What about killing humans? Well aside from a few die-hard individualists on the fringe, the general consensus among people these days seems to be that eating and wearing other people is just not on. Wearing a suit which costs as much as a farmer will make in his lifetime is acceptable, but actually putting his eyeballs on a string and letting them dangle above tastefully exposed cleavage is bad form. — Mohsin Hamid
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Benson Bruno: I don't have any regrets," a famous movie actor said in an interview I recently I don't have any regrets," a famous movie actor said in an interview I recently witnessed. "I'd live everything over exactly the same way."
"That's really pathetic," the talk show host said. "Are you seeking help?"
"Yeah. My shrink says we're making progress. Before, I wouldn't even admit that I would live it all over," the actor said, starting to choke up. "I thought one life was satisfying enough."
"My God," the host said, cupping his hand to his mouth.
"The first breakthrough was when I said I would live it over, but only in my dreams. Nocturnal recurrence."
"You're like the character in that one movie of yours. What's it called? You know, the one where you eat yourself."
"The Silence of Sam."
"That's it. Can you do the scene?"
The actor lifts up his foot to stick it in his mouth. I reach over from my seat and help him to fit it into his bulging cheeks. The audience goes wild. — Benson Bruno
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Jen Lancaster: I want to change my life ... except I sort of like it. I mean, I want to change my life ... except I sort of like it. I mean, I couldn't be more delighted every Monday night after Fletch goes to bed when I come downstairs, pull up the Bachelor on TiVo, drink Riesling, and eat cheddar/port wine Kaukauna cheese without freakign out over fat grams. I'm perpetually in a good mood because I do everything I want. I love having the freedom to skip the gym to watch a Don Knots movie on the Disney Channel without a twinge of guilt. I've figured out how to not be beholden to what other people believe I should be doing, and when the world tells me I ought to be a size eight, I can thumb my nose at them in complete empowerment. — Jen Lancaster
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Jim Thompson: We're living in a funny world kid, a peculiar civilization. The police are playing crooks We're living in a funny world kid, a peculiar civilization. The police are playing crooks in it, and the crooks are doing police duty. The politicians are preachers, and the preachers are politicians. The tax collectors collect for themselves. The Bad People want us to have more dough, and the good people are fighting to keep it from us. It's not good for us, know what I mean? If we had all we wanted to eat, we'd eat too much. We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry. That's the way I understand it. That's about the size of some of the arguments I've heard. — Jim Thompson
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By C.J. Redwine: That's not what he meant," Rachel says again, pink flushing her cheeks."Actually, I meant-" I That's not what he meant," Rachel says again, pink flushing her cheeks.
"Actually, I meant-" I start to say, but Willow cuts me off.
"What? It's true. He looks at you like he'd like to dip you in sugar and eat you up. — C.J. Redwine
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Todd Stocker: Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. — Todd Stocker
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Lord Chesterfield: Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me. — Lord Chesterfield
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Tom Althouse: So if you are what you eat and you are as young as you feel, So if you are what you eat and you are as young as you feel, then I am a pizza, right out of the oven. — Tom Althouse
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By C.S. Lewis: It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?"
"Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund. — C.S. Lewis
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Oliver Markus: It's probably not easy for a woman to understand what it's like to be a It's probably not easy for a woman to understand what it's like to be a man. Imagine you're starving, and someone puts a huge buffet in front of you. There's delicious, mouth-watering food all around you, and it's really really hard not to eat it all. That's what it's like to be a man around attractive women. The urge to want to hump everything that moves is part of a man's natural programming. It's a deep-seated hunger. To suppress that hunger takes civilization and a lot of willpower. — Oliver Markus
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Cassandra Clare: What's it like? Ballet school?""Harsh," he said. "Everyone dances until they collapse. We eat only What's it like? Ballet school?"
"Harsh," he said. "Everyone dances until they collapse. We eat only raw-egg smoothies and wheat protein. Every Friday we have a dance-off and whoever is left standing gets a chocolate bar. Also we have to watch dance movies constantly. — Cassandra Clare
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Obert Skye: What was that you gave me to eat?" Winter panicked.A Filler Crisp," Clover said, his What was that you gave me to eat?" Winter panicked.
A Filler Crisp," Clover said, his eyes seventy percent concerned and thirty percent mischievous. — Obert Skye
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Dashiell Hammett: Dorothy's coming up. I think she's tight.""That's great." I picked up my bathrobe. "I was Dorothy's coming up. I think she's tight."
"That's great." I picked up my bathrobe. "I was afraid I was going to have to get some sleep."
She was bending over looking for her slippers. "Don't be such an old fluff. You can sleep all day." She found her slippers and stood up in them. "Is she really as afraid of her mother as she says?"
"If she's got any sense. Mimi's poison."
Nora screwed up her dark eyes at me and asked slowly: "What are you holding out on me?"
"Oh, dear," I said, " I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you. Dorothy is really my daughter. I didn't know what I was doing, Nora. It was spring in Venice and I was so young and there was a moon over the ... "
"Be funny. Don't you want something to eat? — Dashiell Hammett
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Francesca Zappia: I wished I had put more cherries on that slice. The whole jar of cherries. I wished I had put more cherries on that slice. The whole jar of cherries. I could watch him eat a whole jar of cherries.
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, what was happening to me? — Francesca Zappia
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Kenny D. Eichenberg: What smells good may not always taste good, I leaned this the day I tried What smells good may not always taste good, I leaned this the day I tried to eat a scented candle. — Kenny D. Eichenberg
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By David Levithan: Boomer took bites of all six varieties, contemplating each one and "guring out the order Boomer took bites of all six varieties, contemplating each one and "guring out the order in which he would then eat them. "I like the
brown one and the lighter brown one and the almost-brown one. I'm not so sure about the minty one. But really, I think the lebkuchen spice
one is the best."
"The what?"
"The lebkuchen spice one." He held it up for me. "This one."
"You're making that up. What's a lebkuchen spice? It sounds like a cross between a Keebler elf and a stripper. Hello, my name ees
Lebkuchen Spice, and I vant to show you my cooooookies ... "
"Don't be rude!" Boomer protested. As if the cookie might be offended. — David Levithan
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By A.C. Williams: Mrs. Panabaker is ten years older than God and probably smarter. She stops into the Mrs. Panabaker is ten years older than God and probably smarter. She stops into the offices every other Thursday to tell my dad what she didn't like about his sermon the previous Sunday. She makes fudge-covered marshmallows at Christmas time and force feeds them to anyone too slow to escape. I've never seen her out of a suit dress and floral scarf, and on Sundays she always wears a matching hat. Last week was a salmon-colored number, and her hat was draped in fake fruit. I wanted to try to eat one of the grapes just to see what she'd do, but I value my life. — A.C. Williams
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Denis Leary: I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now. — Denis Leary
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Suzanne Collins: What a welcome sight. You know, it's funny how often people forget that presidents need What a welcome sight. You know, it's funny how often people forget that presidents need to eat, too, President — Suzanne Collins
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By J.R.R. Tolkien: Fifteen birds in five firtrees, their feathers were fanned in a fiery breeze! But, funny Fifteen birds in five firtrees,
their feathers were fanned in a fiery breeze!
But, funny little birds, they had no wings!
O what shall we do with the funny little things?
Roast 'em alive, or stew them in a pot;
fry them, boil them and eat them hot? — J.R.R. Tolkien
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Maria Bamford: Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry. — Maria Bamford
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Lemony Snicket: It was an eerie feeling, which is why Violet and Sunny were surprised when Klaus It was an eerie feeling, which is why Violet and Sunny were surprised when Klaus broke the silence by laughing suddenly.
"What are you snickering at?" Violet asked.
"I just realized something," Klaus said. "We're going to the administrative building without an appointment. We'll have to eat our meals without silverware."
"There's nothing funny about that!" Violet said. "What if they serve oatmeal for breakfast? We'll have to scoop it up with our hands."
"Oot," Sunny said, which meant "Trust me, it's not that difficult," and at that the Baudelaire sisters joined their brother in laughter. It was not funny, of course, that Nero enforced such terrible punishments, but the idea of eating oatmeal with their hands gave all three siblings the giggles.
"Or fried eggs!" Violet said. "What if they serve runny fried eggs?"
"Or pancakes, covered in syrup!" Klaus said.
"Soup!" Sunny shrieked, and they all broke out in laughter again. — Lemony Snicket
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Jeff Smith: Please, comrade! I just want to chop him up for the stew!''And that's another thing! Please, comrade! I just want to chop him up for the stew!'
'And that's another thing! I'm tired of stew! I want to put him in a crust and bake a light fluffy quiche!'
'QUICHE?! What kind of food is THAT for a monster to eat?! — Jeff Smith
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Chris Rock: Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box ... and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box ... and I ain't gonna eat!!" That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects! — Chris Rock
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Dylan Moran: Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!" — Dylan Moran
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Colin Nissan: How rude of me, we haven't even introduced ourselves. We're the Andersons. I'm Evan, the How rude of me, we haven't even introduced ourselves. We're the Andersons. I'm Evan, the lovely size-zero lass in the floppy sun hat is my wife Amy, and these are our best friends/children, Evan and Amy Jr. As you can see, we're very fit and active. You know what our family's average percentage of body fat is? Three. Yes, really. We got it tested last year when we all became organ donors.
You may have noticed that I'm carrying Amy on my back. We do that a lot. At least once a day, and not just when we're in fields like this; we do it on beaches and in urban environments as well. That's what happens when your love is deep and playful like ours. You should also know that we also dab frosting on each other's noses every single time we eat cupcakes, which is both mischievous and very us. Do you guys even eat cupcakes? — Colin Nissan
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Hilary McKay: Is this your holiday homework?" asked Sarah. "Don't do it, Rose! And Eve will write Is this your holiday homework?" asked Sarah. "Don't do it, Rose! And Eve will write you a note to say it's iniquitous to give eight-year-olds homework. You will, won't you, Eve?"
"I could never spell 'iniquitous,' Sarah darling!"
"Hot concrete," said Rose mournfully, prodding her porridge.
"Write this," ordered Saffron. "'The ancient Egyptians are all dead. Their days are very quiet.' Porridge is meant to look like hot concrete. Eat it up ... Read the next question!" ...
"What would you say if you bumped into Tutankhamen in the street?"
"'Sorry!'" said Sarah at once. "Put that."
"We have to answer in proper sentences."
"'Sorry, but it was your fault! You were walking sideways! — Hilary McKay
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Nora Roberts: It's my job to see it.""It's your gift," she corrected. "Your family must be proud It's my job to see it."
"It's your gift," she corrected. "Your family must be proud of you." She spoke casually, began to eat again, then stared at him, baffled, when he laughed. "Why is that funny?"
"Pride wouldn't exactly be part of their general outlook to my way of thinking."
"Why?"
"People can't find pride in what they don't understand.Not all families, Keeley, are as cozy as yours. — Nora Roberts
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Brandon Sanderson: Ear demons are totally real," Cody said. "They're what make microphones like these ones work. Ear demons are totally real," Cody said. "They're what make microphones like these ones work. They're also what tell you to eat the last slice of pie when you know Tia wanted it. — Brandon Sanderson
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Dean Koontz: I'm not much for parties. Sometimes you have to wear a funny hat, sometimes they I'm not much for parties. Sometimes you have to wear a funny hat, sometimes they expect you to eat sushi, which is like eating bait. And there's always some totally drunk girl who thinks you're smitten by her, when what you're really wondering is if she'll vomit on your shirt or instead on your shoes. — Dean Koontz
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Jayde Scott: Does he ever eat? Nope. Does he sleep during the day and only comes out Does he ever eat? Nope. Does he sleep during the day and only comes out at night? Yep. Is he so sexy you'd sell your soul to spend just a night with him? Double-yep. What other proof do you need? — Jayde Scott
You Are What You Eat Funny Sayings By Jon Stewart: Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody? — Jon Stewart